this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2024
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[–] [email protected] 105 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Celeste - a platformer which gives gender-confused people unrealistic power fantasies (such as the ability to double jump, which they do not naturally possess).

You cannot convince me that this wasn't written by an infiltrator

[–] [email protected] 64 points 1 month ago

Yeah no way this wasn't a troll

[–] [email protected] 63 points 1 month ago (3 children)

"do not naturally possess" implies that trans folks possess the ability to double jump, but through unnatural means.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago (1 children)

is it possible to learn this power?

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago

Not from a cishet. billionaire-tears unlimited-power

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago

One of the side effects of HRT

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

The unnatural means are cursed Canadian mountains btw.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 month ago

Check it out, they've never seen a trans person double jump before i-cant

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 month ago

cant double jump

skill issue bridget-pride-stay-mad

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Satan worship is when you are a vampire machine invading hell to literally feast on the blood of demons.

macron trans-gun sentient-ai

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If you're one of the nerds who bother to dive into the quasi-ARG metaplot, it does drive home the point that God is the bad guy and that Lucifer literally did nothing wrong in this universe.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

The only thing I know about this game is that the funny voice man voices the funny angel man

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I may not be able to double-jump, but I can hover in mid-air for a second

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

At least you can avoid fall damage, I made a mistake speccing into high jump.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Peach style or Yoshi style?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago

Wow, they're aware of the satirical elements of Fallout, color me surprised.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I guess parkour and jumping heel clicks are trans now? TIL

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I know people are saying this must be a troll, but seeing as how “in a Petersonian sense, to elevate alternative sexual archetypes in the marketplace (‘fastest Mario’)” was unironically posted by a chud, I’d buy that this is earnest.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Think about the phrase "fully automated luxury Communism" in the context of "speedrunning" and I strongly suspect that things will start to 'click' in your mind.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is this a bit? It’s too funny to be conservative drivel and too media literate on top. amogus

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Conservapedia regularly has stuff I can only assume are jokes. Like there's a review of American Psycho on there that says something like "despite the patriotic title, this movie is very liberal"

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Goddamn, being a cis dude is so fucking boring.

I want a double jump so goddamn bad.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Is it trans to main scout in TF2?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

By this chud logic, does this mean Arthur from Super Ghouls and Ghosts is trans? wowee

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well he runs around in his underwear when hit and it's got hearts on it, and we all know trans folk love hearts cat-trans

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Hell yeah we do

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The trans-fantasy of dying many, many times to various ghosts and goblins

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

ok so who wrote this

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The news has reached Maddy :)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I'm cis. I love Fallout. I do not forsee regretting this post in, say, one or two years.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

You might learn to double jump, so there's that.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Geez I'm CIS and in my 30s and only now do I learn that I can double jump? How do I do it?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Conservatives be like: "they lied to us! We didn't know that transitioning could be as cool as getting a leg upgrade in Mega Man X!"

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I mean, I know Fallout's social commentary and heavy-handed attempts at poignancy is pretty on the nose in terms of the desolate mid-century american wasteland practically screaming at you "THIS IDEOLOGY AND LIFESTYLE LEADS TO DEATH AND ANNIHILATION", but I'd say that Fallout is as much as celebration of 50s/60s americana as it is a critique of it. Like, yes, it's literally post-apocalyptic, but its making constant adoring allusions to sci-fi drive-in B movies, midcentury pop culture, and pulp fiction. There's a real unironic love and appreciation for that era of America on display in Fallout, much to my chagrin, even as someone who can deeply share that cultural reverence. Sometimes I feel like it goes down the "wow wasn't the 60s cool and wacky?!" route a little bit too much at times, especially these days. Its like, yeah, but if you're not further deconstructing it in some way or using it to make an interesting point, it feels a little hollow. Fallout is at its best (in my view) when it's able to perform as a simultaneous celebration and deconstruction of Americana. I think it disarms people who might not be willing to accept a critique of America otherwise.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Why is nobody here showing sick pakour with double jumps

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I just started playing New Vegas tonight lol