this post was submitted on 03 Oct 2024
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chapotraphouse

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Called manager saying "I have been subject to a biological incident. I am requesting a 90 minute unpaid break."

Chat am I getting fired? Civil servant btw.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 46 points 2 months ago

Tell them it's Havana Syndrome. ๐Ÿฅบ

[โ€“] [email protected] 41 points 2 months ago (1 children)

anakin-padme-2 this was supposed to be in badposting, right?

[โ€“] [email protected] 38 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If it's any comfort, my "acclimating to GLP-1 agonist and metformin" self-shitting happened on a date (well, directly after a date, while I was driving home [mercifully on my own]), about 80% of which I spent feeling sick and looking sweaty and weird. It only happened the one time, though, so with any luck you'll acclimate and be fine.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

It's been close to a year ๐Ÿ˜ญ

[โ€“] [email protected] 32 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

I've had some intestinal issues in the past comrade and I can tell you for certain that while most people will never admit to it most of us have probably shit ourselves a little bit at least once.

I feel absolutely no shame about this and we should normalize being able to talk about the fact we have all thrown away at least one pair of underwear at work.

Remember the rule, "never trust a fart" especially if there is any doubt at all, will save you emberassment if you play it safe and just take a bathroom break. Worst case you can say you just had to pee, best case you save yourself an unfortunate incident.

[โ€“] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's true, everybody has a little doodoo ass sometimes

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Well said comrade pibb

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

100%. Also it's a good idea to keep a change of clothes in your trunk or bag just in case. I remember I had an observation with a prof while student teaching, and I split the seat of my parents in first period. I had to drive home and back during 2nd just to barely make it in time for my 3rd hour observation. Now I keep a spare pair of pants with me.

I hadn't ever split my pants seat before, and it also hasn't happened since

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

i shidded a little on my third date w/ my most recent past lover, we were drinking outside and went back to my place and i had to piss like nobodies bizness and the force of the stream pushed out just a lil guy. luckily i was able to clench my cheeks and bidet that little sucker off, no contact with my undies, truly a blessed and cursed turn of events.

[โ€“] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago

Havana syndrome confirmed

[โ€“] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago

Let they who has never sharted themselves a little bit cast the first stone!

[โ€“] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I worked next to a guy who shit his pants at work and the only outcome was he got to go home early. I wouldnโ€™t worry about it.

[โ€“] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Then all of the sudden the entire office started shitting their pants

[โ€“] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

The sympathetic pants shitting response

[โ€“] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Haha nobody wanted to follow his lead. I remember he had started a higher fiber diet before this happened. If anything this incident probably discouraged people from making healthier eating decisions.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

When you get out of work due to shitting yourself, it's called "the brown note".

[โ€“] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago

Blame it on Hamas.

[โ€“] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

One time I ate an entire box of frosted mini wheats before my shift baking bagels. Turns out that fiber is not a myth after all.

[โ€“] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago

lmao for real in this thread we should all admit to ourselves and everyone how we have all sharted at least once in our working lives. I think it will unironically build solidarity for comrades with IBS. It's more common than most people know.

[โ€“] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

According to The Rules, if you aren't fired first thing tomorrow, that means you've scared them. You are in the power position.

[โ€“] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

"putin shit my pants brb"

[โ€“] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

I don't think I've ever actually shit myself as an adult but I will stand in solidarity with my doodoo-assed comrades

[โ€“] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

Civil servants have to shit their pants at least twice daily to comply with new austerity measures. You'll need to improve performance.

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

No, as long as it doesn't keep happening no one will give a shit (ho ho).

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

If you are sick enough to shit yourself you might be too sick to work

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

You don't have to be sick to shit your pants

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Permanent diarrhea is the most common side effect of semaglutide injections.

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Why would you get fired for shitting your pants?

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Got a bit paranoid after a convo with a long term unemployed friend on the drive home.