this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2024
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Political Memes

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A seating chart for an "8 HOUR FLIGHT" with the text "PICK YOUR SEAT" at the top. The chart is composed of 10 numbered seats, each occupied by a different famous Republican politician or public figure, or the devil. Each number represents a seat, and each seat is either adjacent to or between one or two different individuals.

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[–] [email protected] 207 points 2 months ago (8 children)

Of course seat 3. That would be the only one capable of a really interesting conversation. Just don't sign anything. 😉

[–] [email protected] 83 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (5 children)

Agreed about 3, but you do have a chronic farter right behind you. seat 9 might get you the "beetlejuice handy" under a blanket

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Seat 9 with noise cancelling headphones and beetlejuice in-flight movie might not be so bad... Considering the options...

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago

If you're lucky, the Devil's gonna smell like sulfur and your nose won't be able to pick up on anything else

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago

but you do have a chronic farter right behind you

Plus Diaper Don right in front of you

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And you can repeatedly kick the seat in front of you while doing it, earning points with your row buddy.

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[–] [email protected] 155 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Omglol, dude....

[–] [email protected] 107 points 2 months ago (7 children)

I don't care where I sit, I won't be in the seat long. As soon as we're at cruising level I'm charging the cockpit and crashing the fucking plane.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

The gentleman seated in aisle 3, left sends a stewardess to inform you that you could actually live thru the whole ordeal if you just promise him this one tiny little thing. But he wants it in writing to be sure.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

A true hero

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[–] [email protected] 83 points 2 months ago (1 children)

3 for sure. Only good person there. Satan gets a bad rap. All he wanted was for us humans to be free of tyranny and to give us knowledge.

Plus, as others have noted, you get to kick Frumpty Dumpty's seat the whole time.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago

At least with Satan, we all know what he's about. Can't say I fully know or understand any other person in the lineup.

[–] [email protected] 78 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Does seat 9 include the “full Beetlejuice”?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Yes, but MTG talks politics to you the entire time, forcing you to maintain eye contact while she speaks.

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Number 2.

Strike up some idle chit chat, how ya doing, nice weather etc…

And then a totally innocent… so whaddya do for work?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

Oh man. That’s an angle I never thought of. I always wanted to ask him hard questions and hold him to it. Or tell him what people really think, but to act like you have no clue who he is or what he’s done. How would a narcissist normally react to that?

[–] [email protected] 46 points 2 months ago (3 children)

3 please.

The devil will have some interesting stories about the whole god thing, and I can kick trump’s seat from behind.

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Pilot seat, so I can crash the plane and do the world a huuuge favor

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

9

As awful as they are I might as well get a good over the pants handy from bobert, something tells me she has snail in her though and will probably mash it, worth a shot

[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 months ago (2 children)

#9 cuz dick succs ain't cheatin

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Dude I'd love to meet Satan. I'd high five him for having the balls to stand up to the all powerful sky tyrant.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago (2 children)

9, I might be able to talk em into letting me cop a feel while getting an angry handy. Or satan, he’s probably got good stories.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago

Definitely 3 unless its some right wing youtubers profile photo that i don't know about.

But the devil? Sure!

Otherwise mcconel and hulk hogan. Mcconel will probably have another stroke and just zone out for hours. And hogan will rip his shirt and say something racist and get kicked off the plane.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I could sit with Satan and ask him how he fooled everyone else on the plane in to thinking he was God.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago

3 and I'm kicking the seat in front quite a lot. I reckon we're going to spend the whole flight giggling.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago

Id sit next to Alex Jones. Just stare silently ahead, occasionally lick the air, and moisten my eyes with a wetted towelette. At the end of the flight, turn my whole body towards him, and (remember, without having said a word or acknowledged him in any way) say "Itssss been a plesssure getting to hiss know you." And just slither off the plane.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (7 children)
  1. I already know every single other person is a shitbag, but Satan's personality is open to interpretation. Shame about the smell of the person in front of me, though.
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[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

9 because I could probably get a handy before the flight is over. Thinking about it I could do the same at 3 as well

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Gotta be three.

Sit behind him and kick his chair over and over again the entire duration of the flight. Every time he looks back, just shrug helplessly and point at the guy sitting next to you.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Three all the way. Satan and I can take turns kicking T****s seat and talking loudly.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago

Seat 3 obviously. I love having an empty seat next to me on a flight.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'd be going to the cockpit to crash the plane

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

3, and I'm kicking his seat the whole way. Also I can talk plans with Satan. Maybe get a down payment going on my bar in hell. I'm going to name it, The Bar Men Trip Over.

For an alternative I'll take the seat next to J.D. Vance. I'll remind him he's actually just a journalist with a fancy degree every 15 minutes.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (4 children)

3 for sure. Seems like the most reasonably, least evil choice. Plus, as an atheist, I'd like to get his side of the story.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (4 children)
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[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Oh Jesus, what's wrong with you. 7 I guess

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Seat #9 - at least I could get a handie from BoBo after a few in-flight vodkas…

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (3 children)

#3. Satanic temple is surprisingly wholesome

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (2 children)

4

Alex Jones is a piece of shit, but sitting next to him would be like listening to a long episode of Knowledge Fight. Also its an aisle seat.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

3... Definitely spend the whole time coming up with appropriate eternal torture for the rest

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

3 and I'll be kicking the whole fucking time

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (2 children)

3, it's not even a fucking question.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

How many would choose seat #3? I would.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

3 easy. He's the only one on the flight that tells the truth.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

On the wing... The left wing.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Number 9 and try to get a handie while MTG is snorting Creatine in the bathroom.

Edit: formatting

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (2 children)
  1. And I'm watching porn the whole time.
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