Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
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alright gang, we need another win over the news mega this week! keep those numbers up and keep being trans as hell 
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
I feel bad because I pushed back on some wild racism by a friend's family member and the vibe definitely got awkward afterwards. Like, I know it was the right thing to do and all, but I hate confrontation and I feel it was my fault things got weird. 
i feel like sonic and link are in the same category where someone could say they're transmasc and someone could say they're transfem. and they would both be right. exceptionally transgender creatures
Update on the coming out thing: my parents waited a day before pouring out all their shitty misinformed takes, and I've had an incredibly horrible evening :(
Anthropology has a lot to answer for. Back in the 90s, a transphobe named Serena Nanda turned the gaze of the university onto the issue of gender in India and we are still living with the consequences. With the power of imperial knowledge-making behind her, she has laid down the dogma that only (educated, middle-class, white) Westerners claim to be trans women while those Indians we call hijra are actually a third gender. All the cis academics since agree with her and even the Indian courts cite her, so it must be true, right? So if you see photos of a protest with signs like "Hijras are women" or Indian trans women saying that they're trans women, you can rest assured that's that just our malign colonial influence. The exotic truth, on the other hand, is safely preserved in the centers of power of the Anglophone world thanks to the daily labor of cis academics everywhere β preserved from the colonial force of white trans women who threaten to extend their reach everywhere.
I have too much anxiety to go to an actual barber shop so Iβve been doing my own hair and itβs a bit of a mess right now 
sisyphus must be stoked for the heat death of the universe
look, i'm not trying to troll the weird transphobes by fucking with their own logic, but every time I hear that one tired transphobe argument of "but this isn't how god made you", I can't help but just flatly disagree. I'm not sure if there was some form of divine intelligence that aided or steered in my creation, but if there was, I'm pretty sure god just made me trans. It's really that simple 
Day 7 or microdosing estrogen (CW sex stuff)
After some reflection with my wife, Iβve come to the conclusion that I am indeed feeling some effects already. Iβve been very lovey with her for the past 4 days (sheβs calling it clingy, but in a good way that she enjoys) and I feel a lot more in tune with my body when weβre cuddling or making out. I think Iβm going to have to expand my internal definition of βemotionβ because I didnβt recognize what I was feeling as an emotion. Iβve been working with nothing but happy, sad, and angry for years. AuDHD and disassociation are fucks sometimes.
We unfortunately had our first run in with erectile dysfunction, but Iβm hoping it was just because I was overworked and nervous. I was kind of in my head about the possibility of it happening, which is a great way to make it happen, estrogen or no. My heart was also racing from the previous thing we were doing. I havenβt suffered with erectile dysfunction in years though.
I have been girlshopping for the past... maybe two or three hours? And my god everything is expensive, small, and/or poorly made. At first I was just adding stuff to the list, but after looking deeper at the reviews a lot of it is cheap garbage that won't even fit me right. 
I need to re-evaluate and pick the handful of things I want most I guess. Why is being a girl so expensive.
All my coworkers are asleep, ah this is perfect. No one is listening to music or the olympics, no one wants to talk to me and make a connection, just silence.
Having peach fuzz is fine, I am a mammal 
Having peach fuzz is fine, I am a mammal 
Having peach fuzz is fine, I am a mammal 
Having peach fuzz is fine, I am a mammal
Having peach fuzz is fine, I am a mammal 
CW sadposting, dysphoria, executive dysfunction, hygiene/grooming
spoiler
Should have showered and shaved and went to the store earlier, couldn't bring myself to have to interact with my own body like that or look in the mirror to shave and ended up blowing the whole thing off and feel disgusting and exhausted by everything
When I was young, I hoped I could be beautiful someday
Then it became hoping I could be decent looking
Then it became hoping I could look normal enough to go out in public without feeling uncomfortable
Now the bar's sunk to the level of just hoping I can put up with myself enough to function sometimes
I feel like I'm running out of expectations to lower and ways to disappoint myself more
I know sometimes I just have shitty mental health days and can catastrophize and this ain't my first rodeo 
but I just get so fucking tired of having to be me sometimes
job hunting
I feel like I am in this weird position where my past work experience is rather atypical for someone my age to the point where despite the fact that it was pretty specialized work, I don't feel confident in being able to get another job like it. For context I was an art teacher/art teacher's assistant (I honestly do not really know what category I'd fall into) at this private art studio, right out of high school. So I have a lot of experience with teaching art, working with kids K-12, and also with photo editing. But also I don't have a college degree yet, let alone any sort of teacher's certificate so I don't feel confident in applying for most art teaching jobs. Art tutoring jobs, maybe...?
::: spoiler weed doc today
let's see if I've been appropriately self medicating for years or if I've got a substance use disorder shall we
boy mode, suicide attempt, and body image
When I'm boy moding my body image is not accurate. I 100% have had hair bangs down to my chin for over a year.
When I'm boy moding I imagine that my hair is shaved short.
I also noticed yesterday in the hospital, after boy mode landed me there by eating a bunch of pills*, that I've been covering up worry with restlessness, anger, and sensual desire. It happens reflexively. Boy mode doesn't allow for worry and this quickly blows up my relationship with my gf, other people I'm close with, and my life in general.
Noticing this distorted body image I think will help me be more mindful of myself. And challenging the false body image feels affirming even if worry is uncomfortable for me. It's also easier for my GF than this mess I keep putting her through.
*I won't say what but it was dicey. I have some schooling in pharmacology and had researched which meds and how much when upset last month. This was impulse yesterday and I quickly regretted it. I ate some activated charcoal at home and they gave me more at the hospital as well as IV fluids. I think the charcoal caught a lot of it based on subjective experience and articles I had read about overdosing on this med. There's less dangerous ones in this class I'll talk to my Dr about switching too.
boobs
I think I've always had breast buds. Very sensitive nipples since puberty. A week into sub-c HRT and they're already sore when I barely bump my arm against them etc.
Are you really living if you're not listening to your fave album of the week, having two to five conversations on Discord, and flipping between social media sites? 
Hey trans mega fans, any of you going to the mega trans conference?
starting HRT week 3, boobs and cum, dead bedroom
Third sub-c shot. Nipples were sensitive all last week. This morning I noticed my ejaculation was mostly clear, so I guess my sperm production is down.
Girlfriend and I aren't having sex atm so she can find more sense of safety, which is something we both want. But there's no flirting or passion in our relationship right now and because of chronic tension and cPTSD, I hurt myself and flareup every time I try to go do something fun with her.
Feeling like I'm going through all these sexual changes alone, like I can't share with her right now without it making things uncomfortable. And like she'd be happier dating someone that's not chronically tense to the point of disability.
On the bright side, third HRT shot and started voice training. Working with a straw to feel more vibration in the front of my face. Yesterday I was on the back step smoking, talking to brainworms in my femm voice.
Reading a collection of trans essays called trans-gressions. And ordered A Thousand Plateaus by Deleuze and Guattari.
I absolutely am a 'cannot eat without youtube' baby. but part of it is I find chewing noises, even my own, EXTREMELY over stimulating. the other part of it absolutely is having baby brain where I need constant stimulation and entertainment tho, can't lie
People always think I am younger than I am and I can't tell if it's just because I am short or because I am cognitively stunted in some way. 
trans mega 200 comments ahead of news mega. thank you nothing ever happens bros for keeping the news mega quiet
remember when the Kiwi governmentt crushed unions so the hobbit movies could be made in New Zealand, what bastards. utterly crushed creative industries in NZ
When it takes every fiber of your being to resist wanting to strangle transphobes to death with your bare hands. 
I love my job I love my job I love my job I love... 
i took away the upbear numbers and i dont know if i like it 
i dont stress about post quality but i dont get the dopamine hits when lovely comrades upbear my comments. what do?
It's satisfying to spend time around people and realize that you really can just be yourself. I realize now how much I felt like I had to act a certain way. Just acting like me, and not caring if I come off as feminine or masculine is the easiest thing ever.
I'm feeling very depressed this evening and I genuinely cannot tell whether it is because of dysphoria or because I lost at some meaningless video game
