Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
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π³οΈββ§οΈ Transmasculine Pride Ring π³οΈββ§οΈ
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Sending good vibes to all of my trans comrades 
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
Hey, I made a sad post working through some family shit about childhood upbringing being queer and assigned gender nonconforming here and would appreciate some thoughts on it for whoever's up for that kind of thing. Thanks
genitals
Honestly considering getting an orchi.
My balls pretty much live inside me anyways and it would be nice not to have to worry about anti-androgens or T production.
Edit: my gf referring to an orchi as βgetting me fixedβ is kinda tipping the scales ngl .-.
I'm currently at war with the bourgeois conception of high art and good taste.
I made a list for what I'd want out of a future partner and it's fucking boring π. Independent, supportive, empathetic, and then the lesser ones like: able to get by without smoking weed/drinking everyday, has a relatively normal regular sleep schedule.
I used to be cool. WTF happened, hit my 30s and now my soul wears a business skirt and blazer.
inspired by @[email protected] curlposting i have decided to give my curls a bit more love. i ordered a nice hair care package of scrunchies, wide tooth comb, curly shampoo/conditioner and some oils and shit. i have a nice wave naturally, but i normally don't put too much work into my curls besides brushing in the shower, scromching with a towel and air drying. i need to get a trim too as my hair is well below shoulder length which isn't optimal for my curls, but i'm excited to curlmaxx some!!
in other news, i went to see I Saw the TV Glow and it was... good? i suppose it left me slightly underwhelmed because it definitely didn't resonate with me emotionally as much as i expected given what i had heard going in. it was still an enjoyable and clearly very well crafted movie, just didn't click with me in that way. i had some gripes with it, but the stuff i didn't like was largely in service of horror which i have to appreciate so my criticism is fairly soft. i think it's Good the movie exists and if it shakes some eggs out of the closet or illuminates the horror of dysphoria to some cissies, that marks it as an accomplished and transgressive work in my view. definitely better than the hot new queer story being about some gay english white boys which god knows we've seen enough of for a bit.
(spoilers) i guess
i was a little disappointed when i realised it was going to have a tragic ending. i wouldn't reduce the movie to "just another queer tragedy", it does stand on its own and like i mentioned the tragic elements are in service of horror which makes the formula a little more fresh... but it did ultimately feel like a tragedy. in the horror context, a happy ending was never on the cards. it wouldn't have made sense i guess. not asking it to be a different movie, but it did make me yearn a bit more for new queer stories that are more radically hopeful, which is something i strongly feel we need more of.
Our strongest transposter @[email protected], congratulations on another notch on your proverbial posting rifle. 
spoiler
I'm gay. Gay like you wouldn't believe, gay like you haven't seen before, you simply cannot comprehend how gay i am
Me spending 5 mins on a doodle: This is amazing I am an artistic genius
Me spending 10 hours on an illustration: This is terrible I am a fraud what am I doing with my life
I'm not giving up nor do I actually think it's bad. It's just that staring at the same work for so long makes me kinda hate it no matter the quality. I probably just need to take more breaks
I've gotten a weird case of brainworms where sometimes when I look at pics of someone completely cis I think to myself that she doesn't really pass in this.
friday night vibes at the laundromat are quiet and much appreciated to the weekend vibes
Marched at pride yesterday, met a ton of my trans friends, had a great day in the city and finally we capped it off with a drag show and lipsync battle that gave my gal pal and me the biggest dose of queer joy you can imagine. It was wonderful seeing every single letter in LGBTQIA being represented by such magnificent, radiant people. The straights have no idea what they're missing out on. If you're reading this while closeted, please make it your goal to come out here and join us. You're needed and will be welcomed with open arms and it will be beautiful.
HAHAHA! YES! MY HAIR IS FINALLY LONG ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO FIT INTO MY MOUTH! IT GROWS!
Heard back on soy milk. Around two cups of soy a day is fine with my estrogen (about a gallon a week).
And two gallons is not. And since I get a lot of phytoestrogens elsewhere in my diet, I'm switching milks (maybe almond, oat is expensive for some reason). And switching to tea generally, since almond and oat milk in coffee doesn't do it for me.
otherkin discourse
Chat, am I old and out of touch? There was a struggle session in a chat I monitor about otherkins after one came in and said they have it worse than 'other trans people do'. I personally think this is probably bait by some reactionary, but lets assume they're earnest. They're not doing hrt, anything with gender, etc. they're basically just saying their presentation (re: wearing furry stuff / doing cosplay) makes them a 'new gender'. Am I wrong in thinking otherkins are just furries and cosplayers that take it way too seriously? Like if they want to do that stuff, sure whatever, but I don't like the conflation with trans issues.
I consider otherkin to be not a trans thing. People often hate on xenogenders (re: being 'new discourse'), I obviously consider xenogenders trans, most seem genderfluid and have a 'switch' due to an outside interaction.
a bit sad
I donβt think Iβm ready to get into a real relationship again but I do wish I had someone to just cuddle with sometimes.
I've been hyperfocusing on art all day again. I thought I'd share what I have so far:
work in progress
Line art:
This will eventually be the first boss of the shump game I'm making. Inspired by the Eucharitid Wasp. I'm slowly piecing together multiple layers so there will be lots of animation in the game. Legs, head, antenna, body, back carapace, wings, and stinger will all be separate objects that animate independently to give it life and to have multiple ways of signalling attacks
Probably would've been quicker and easier just to do pixel art but I always like to do things that hard way
I know a while ago I said I was planning on making a bracelet, but I finally did it! There's a couple things wrong with it, but I'm still pretty happy with it. Its orange and purple.
Unfortunately I don't have pink or white so no trans bracelet for now, but this is nice 
Another good day of being a trans girl.
Muscles: weakened and shrinking
Body hair: thinning and lightening
Tiddies: growing
Unspeakably horny thoughts: raging
Skin: softened
yep, it's estrogen time
bad vibes
Out of left field, a family member sent me a message full of resentment and trans- and queerphobic hatred, insulting my mum as a whore and some other shit. I am doing relatively ok now but depressing that another family member is dead to me now
I love how long my hair has gotten. It's long enough to completely cover my ears, but not long enough to pull into a ponytail. I love how soft it is and how good it smells after I condition it. 
dresses are cute, but I just don't find a situation to wear them much
body image navel gazing, cw weight stuff
I was looking in the mirror after showering today and ADMIRING the small tummy I am now having. Thing is earlier in the week, I was pulling up my shirt and going 'uh oh, did my midsection gain too much weight?' No, you fucking rube, you goddamn shit idiot. My midsection actually looks great, the lil tummy rounds me out better than before, when I had a washboard-flat midriff I looked uncomfortably skinny. It's these lapses in judgement & perception that make me worry I'd be susceptible to an eating disorder... not because I do not adore my body, but because my brain tries to bully me about it anyway.
It's useful to have a partner around, you can trust their perception of you and lean on them for a second opinion when your brain is being silly. I recommend it tbh.
@[email protected] operation curly hair care is a-go and going swimmingly. Armed with my jojoba oil and wide tooth comb, my hair has never looked and felt better!
... should I post some of my outfit design sketches on the trans mega?
Day 3 of βis this the estrogen working or am I so excited for it to work that Iβm ascribing random things to it?β
CW mildly lewd
I made out with my wife for like an hour straight earlier. It just felt really good and I felt connected to my body in a way that I normally donβt while weβre making out. Weβve never done that for that long before without it turning into sex but I super wanna do it again.
Whoops, accidentally napped for 4 hours instead of calling about my student loan that I'm missing the code to activate like I was planning to do today. Guess I'll just do it Friday and hopefully that won't be too late.
we finally did it lmao 
doubts, dysphoria, fears of bigotry
I'm just so confused. For every advantage it feels like there's a reason not to transition. I'd love to have a girl body more then anything, but that comes with misogyny. I'd love fat redistribution, but will it even look good on my massive frame or am I still going to look "manish". My voice dysphoria is truly awful, I hate speaking and its what holds me back most from asking for she/her. Can I work on it enough to be happy with it? If I could I'd be the happiest girl in the world but... you know what if it doesn't sound the way I want. I'm scared to come out, but staying like this is hell. I feel like life is and will continue to be trudging through mud. Either dysphoria or bigotry and harassment. I can't stay where I am though.
I don't know. I'll probably give it a shot at some point and decide from there what to do. I know this sounds very downer but I'm just so confused and scared.
People say all trans women are so strong but I'm very much 
so that's worrying too. I have always been a quitter.
