this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2024
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[–] [email protected] 101 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Where are all of the good toddlers with guns when you need them??

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Funny and very disappointing at the same time how he got actual politicians to endorse training for 4 year olds to shoot bad guys.

[–] [email protected] 98 points 4 months ago (3 children)

guns don't kill people, toddlers do

[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 months ago (2 children)

It takes a child to raze a village.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

As someone with 2 preschool aged kids I absolutely agree

[–] [email protected] 96 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Jesus Fucking Christ! Someone do something about that toddler!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (2 children)

That's what the toddler wants.

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[–] [email protected] 58 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Every sixty seconds, a woman in Britain gives birth. She. Must. Be. Exhausted.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Why would she be exhausted when she has the machine that goes PING! After all it's the doctors who do all the work since they're the experts.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 4 months ago (1 children)

And her name is Maggie Simpson.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Her name is Maggie Simpson. Her name is Maggie Simpson.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Imagine what he's going to be like when he hits his rebellious years.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 4 months ago (2 children)

He probably doesn't remain that large, he is a toddler

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

He remains at small but growing rapidly

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Just stop selling the kid ammo. Problem solved.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You say no to that cute little face!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (4 children)

I would easily say no to his face... but he has a guna nd is willing to use it.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

All I'm saying is that if bullets cost $5,000 I bet that toddler would have a hard time affording them

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The solution for a toddler with a gun is an adult with a gun. Or something. Idk, I'm not american.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

You've got the spirit though

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

According to my quick search, it should be Not more than 5 years into the deaths by gun-wielding toddler surpass the deaths of 9/11.

Edit: I was wrong. Here are the fruits of my research:

Toddlers: about 21 deaths per year, would take until 2142 to surpass the 9/11 deaths

Kids 12 and below: 40 deaths per year, would take until 2075 to surpass those deaths

Children 17 and below, when counting accidents only, would take until 2029

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Toddlers: about 21 deaths per year

Last I checked, there was more weeks than that in a year. Did those fuckers in HR go and change it?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

Ah ok, fair enough.

Now that you mention it, it was pretty silly to expect the toddler to have a 100% kill rate lol

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago

Glad to see their aim got better

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Lil John Wick is on a mission, I guess.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Adam Sandler in: Lil' Wicky

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago

I look forward to his adolescence as a Fortune 500 CEO.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (8 children)

this joke is funny here but it gets really sad when twitter and everyone repeats the same “original” knee slapper when this stat continues to be true, month after month after month 😒

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I used to be an kneeslapper like them. Then I got shot by a toddler.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Right in the knee?

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

That Dennis is such a meanance.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

Toddler army UNITE

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Why don't Americans simply not have a larger toddler eat this trigger happy rugrat?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

After 2 years are they still a toddler?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Toddler is age 1-3, so they are just about done.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

I bet he'll be able to retire at 3 years old with this many jobs

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Whoever said taking candy from a baby was easy must not have been American

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

They will grow out of it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Talk about the Terrible Twos!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Not a very good accuracy, shooting ranges need to offer child discounts, so they could practice more

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Jesus Christ! And I thought the Uvalde police were bad!

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