this post was submitted on 15 May 2024
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Joe Biden threw down the gauntlet on Wednesday, directly challenging former President Donald Trump – his expected 2024 rival — to not one, but two debates. Within hours, CNN announced via press release that it would be hosting the first debate in the presidential rematch on June 27 in the key battleground state of Georgia — where Trump remains under criminal indictment for attempting to interfere with the results of the 2020 election.

lmao

Participating candidates will be required to “appear on a sufficient number of state ballots to reach the 270 electoral vote threshold to win the presidency prior to the eligibility deadline” — meaning that potential third-party candidate RFK Jr. will likely be unable to take the stage.

Gonna be interesting to see whose amphetamines wear off first

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[–] [email protected] 86 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Gonna be interesting to see whose amphetamines wear off first

This really is a battle of who has the better pharmacist. Also, I fear that if I watch this debate the collective insanity of the two of them will sonically liquidate my brain

[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I really want a break down on the strategy of giving them enough drugs to keep them sharp but not too many that they crash by the end of 2 hours.

Maybe a secondary analysis of risk vs reward of trying to get some mild uppers in their water bottle.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I want a sports-style play by play with a panel of pharmacologists and drug users deciphering their every move.

"Look at his pinky fingers twitching at different times, that's a telltale sign they've got him on at least 5mg of oxymethlnabacalcifermin. That's a risky move given it's short-lived high but it might get him through the worst of this"

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago

look look the second capsule is dissolving, you can see the pupils start to dilate and the perspiration increases

when you're right you right, dave. look at him go about immigration. If second dose doesn't hit for genocide joe, he is in big trouble. I heard they've tried harder gelatine due to higher acidity in his stomach

lets see if it pays off for them

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

Hasan and the Chapo boys are missing an opportunity by not doing this

[–] [email protected] 78 points 5 months ago (2 children)

hope they fuck up their dosage, i want corn pop and hannibal lecter battle, not some boring 10 percent this 25 percent that

[–] [email protected] 41 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I just want to see Biden draw a clock

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I want to see him draw a Glock

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago

I want them so zooted that the outcome of the debate is an Odd Couple-style small plates restaurant.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Dear God, you have the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever

[–] [email protected] 54 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

I hope Biden's eye explodes again right off the bat, and things escalate from there

[–] [email protected] 28 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Honestly, gas leak, just send the entire hall up in flames

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 months ago

Bwaaa that's a clean burning debate I'll tell you hwat

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago

like that scene in inglorious basterds

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago

How dare you make fun of Biden's public-event eye-bleeding. It's just a stutter. Why do you love Trump?

[–] [email protected] 53 points 5 months ago (1 children)

They're really both gonna be in the same place at the same time?

[–] [email protected] 44 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Anderson Cooper has the potential to do the funniest thing ever

[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago

anyone in that room has the chance to become the greatest hero of our time

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

"Well then... I did not have that on my bingo card hehe"

Entire lib family looks at me with anger and disappointment

[–] [email protected] 50 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago

Last person to directly address somebody that isn't there wins.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 5 months ago

Joe Biden threw down the gauntlet on Wednesday, directly challenging former President Donald Trump

sicko-hyper raiden-source en garde

to not one, but two debates

sicko-wistful what do we gotta do for these geriatric oligarchs to fucking hack at each other with blades

[–] [email protected] 38 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Finally some circus to entertain us

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That's really all I want out of this. Honestly, my mind has been made up since Obama's second term about voting for these ghouls.

Just entertain me while the place falls apart

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Also bread. Could use some more of that food share

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

I'm a baker. I can't get away from bread anymore

[–] [email protected] 37 points 5 months ago

sicko-wistful tfw no sons debate

[–] [email protected] 35 points 5 months ago

The only way I'd watch is if Biden shoots acid blood out of his eye onto Trump like a xenomorph.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This is a thrill similar to Mike Tyson vs Jake Paul or Kendrick vs Drake for me

I hope Biden says Jack and I hope Trump calls him a pedophile.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Look Jack, you're trying to strike...strike... it's a B major

[–] [email protected] 31 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Why oh god WHY does it have to be so fucking EARLY??? They usually(if not always?) have general election pres debates in September/october

we can’t get any god damn rest before this horseshit

[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago

cant have the cable watchers tuning out of the election cycle. it has to be a big stupid spectacle or people might get ideas about how democratic it really is

[–] [email protected] 29 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 29 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I can't wait to watch them fight over who would be the most unapologetic supporter of genocide. distress

[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago

Remember when they fought over who was the bigger China hawk last time?

Do we have a jack Johnson/John Jackson Futurama emoji?

[–] [email protected] 28 points 5 months ago

Trumps gonna insist they drop the requirement to turn off mics when it's not your turn and then if they don't do that back out saying they were being very unfair to him and the most gullible pathetic people in the world will see that as a sign of strength and his approval will go up 5 points.

That or Trump just brings a bull horn and pulls that out when they turn off his mic.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago

Biden sir....you don't have to do this but fuck it, it'll be funny to watch if not morbid. Can't wait for one of them to have a heart attack on stage

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago

I hope it's a literal slap fight and nothing else. Maybe some three stooges eye poking

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Trump is gonna rip a big fart and then Biden is gonna be visibly upset and Trump will deny the whole thing and be declared the winner

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

eat up, piggies!