Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
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Happy Early May Day!
Holy fuck I am so incredibly jealous of women :cri: why can't I look like that. I just want to be her, ya know? And then I see a lesbian couple and oh my god :kitti-cry: why isn't that me? I keep like actually tearing up.
Why am I in such a gross man body. It feels so weird to even type these feelings out from my body. Like I'm a fraud.
Bit of a silly thing for me to worry about rn, but does anyone have any advice on just like, how to start dating, just in general? I've reached a point where I'm more comfortable and happy and I feel like I might finally have the actual emotional bandwidth (and time) to date. But I'm also pretty worried since I literally never have before, the closest thing was being asked out once and having a few crushes at one point in time. And because of that lack of experience I just have no clue where to start really. I guess dating apps? But idk which ones are decent and I'm not sure how comfortable I really am with them besides. I guess they're kind of my only option rn until uni starts up again, though.
Also, while I'm not actually ace, I've realised that the idea of having sex kinda terrifies me with how dysphoric I am, and I have no clue how I'd properly build a relationship without that as an expectation. So any advice on that front from any ace comrades here would also be welcome.
Girl who fills your DMs with german punk music from the 70s????
I got my estrogen patches today, am supposed to take them 4 times a week, so 42 hours. I found no timer app that could do above 24 hours, or only in daily increments. So I rounded up to 48 hours, that is much easier to time, and only plus 6 hours.
I really didn't expect the planning to be any work. But a patch each 1.75 days was a bit annoying. I really should get a pocket calendar, this would have been much easier if I didn't have to remember it from memory each time.
In the laser clinic waiting room, a bunch of anaesthetic cream on my face under cling film that has to sit for 1-2 hours so the laser removal isn't super painful, reading some Dance of Dialectic. Nice day overall, waiting just gives me an excuse to read. Also this place was recommended by trans friends in the area and I'm pretty sure I heard at least one, maybe two other transfems while waiting. Could be mistaken but beautiful women with beautifully deep voices at the laser clinic that's very trans friendly, it's likely !
Iβm getting back into reading, but now my issue is that I need physical copies to really enjoy reading and theyβre so expensive 
even on thriftbooks a lot of the stuff I want is in the $20 range
Dysphoria bad, at the intersection of being unfortunately fortunate is annoying and awkward
CW transphobia
I just confirmed what I suspected for a while. My stepdad is transphobic. Urgh
okay i want to look like a girl but i also have always thought i'd be good at being an old man so i guess i'm going to detransition at the age of 58 and become Red Green. even if I don't I have like 30 years to think about that decision
Having to tear myself bodily away from silly turn-based-tactics games to go read Unjust Depths so that I do not become dessicated with lack of gay. Surely Homa must be the saddest and dorkiest lesbian, surely.
My sleep schedule is so out of whack right now. Nowadays, Iβve somehow retained the ability to just sleep at will, which is something I havenβt had in a decade. My brain is incapable of controlling it, so I just pass out for like four hours at a time at little notice. Not that Iβm complaining except I need a rigid sleep schedule for next week when the Summer Basho starts. I watch it live; I donβt even care that Japan is 15 hours ahead.
Does anyone have brow advice? I've got a gross uni brow and I've got to do something about it, but idk how
I use eyebrow-contoured wax strips like these guys for a first pass, then a pair of scissor tweezers to clean up errant hairs
I feel like I'd be procrastinating HRT if I had it
Surprisingly, I haven't missed a dose yet in the ~3 weeks since I started. Given I often struggle to get out the door without forgetting at least something so often (and I basically always just bring the same stuff), being consistent isn't exactly my specialty. Guess its something I think about a lot or something.
anyone have experience with mtf HRT's effects on keratosis pilaris? I've got some on my arms but a lot on my legs :( people generally report clearer skin w/ estrogen but i'm not sure if that applies to this... some people on 
say it helps some say no change
Straight up, neo vagina is cool and good π
I know there's at least one poster here who didn't want faers done, I appreciate that. But I'm saying for those who want one, it's fucking dope. I love em, I want one of my own! β‘
depersonalization talk
Sometimes I feel like my body is a mech suit I'm piloting around. Or like I'm a little farther back in my head then I should be (I have no idea if that makes sense). It feels a little like when I had esketamine (not at its peak, more the beginning and end). I was actually concerned for a while the esketamine broke something in my brain.
Is that kinda what trans depersonalization is like? Do any of you feel the same way?
Oh yeah. That is definitely something that I've experienced in the past. Same goes for both of my partners. It's not a fun feeling. I'm not certain there's really a way to work around it aside from continuing to push forward with what you're doing for yourself. Keep strong and carry on.
That is all. Hope you all are having a great Friday doomposting
Learning that the only thing stopping my transition is the ruination of my marriage :( Realizing how easy it would have been if I were ten years younger and could have accepted myself then suuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.
