Sometimes they did genuinely use the label before coming out as/realizing they were trans. The term gets grandfathered in even though it's no longer correct at all. Like trans men who still identify as lesbian.
this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2024
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what could "no longer correct" possibly mean in this situation.
Femboy is short for feminine boy. Trans women are clearly not boys.
You're making me feel like I need to further develop my understanding of prototype theory and pragmatics etc and how these things apply to trans people, because I obviously can't just say "no, you're wrong", because that would have some very troubling and incredibly transphobic implications, like I'd just say "yes" if someone asked me "are you a boy?"; but I also can't just say "yeah, you're correct" as if I don't take any issue at all with the understanding of semantics you seem to have.
Eh. I'm all for letting people use the labels they feel most comfortable with, i don't care that there's people who think it's contradictory that i call myself a nonbinary trans woman, or that i use lesbian as a label in spite of theoretically being bi / pan. Queerness always includes some amount of ambiguity and some amount of defiance, and our language should be a way to combat epistemic injustice, that is: to fight cishetnormative society's attempts to deny us the language to describe our own experiences. I refuse to let my labels function as a taxonomy for straights that see me as a specimen; they should be jumping-off points to explore how i violate norms imposed upon me, cues for freely improvising gender and sexuality. Trans women have no obligation to stick to gender conforming labels and always insist on being the girliest girls, it can be extremely liberating to allow ourselves androgynity.
With that out of the way, i see way too often that there's both chasers who use this particular language on dating apps, and trans women who will put up with the grossest fetishizing because they think it's the only way for them to get laid at all. So i can't really say what i think of that when you put it in a vacuum, it could be "yeah, that's what she calls herself, cool that she has the guts to do that with all the transmisogyny around" or it could be super fucking sad. I'm not gonna judge her in the latter case, the blame for this should be on a transphobic system, not on trans people who see no less humuliating way to navigate it, but ... speaking from experience, when trans people have internalized that much transphobia that they're willing to put up with being treated like this by cissies, they're not safe for me to be around and i'll gtfo, that's just necessary self care.
i don't care that there's people who think it's contradictory that i call myself a nonbinary trans woman [...] I refuse to let my labels function as a taxonomy for straights that see me as a specimen
Perfectly said
Yeah my FIL does that on dating profiles. I think sheβs trying to attract the sort of men that go for that fetish.
FIL?
it should mean father in law but uhh
Yeah her gendered terminology is a mixed bag: she/her pronouns but still considers herself my wifeβs dad so ergo my FIL (but grampsβma to my kid).
Confusingly awesome and holy fuck does "gramps'ma" slap.
Fmother in law
If she does it for she wants to, then more power to her. If she does it for she has to, then that's a bad thing. What else is there to be said?
Up to them honestly though I myself feel weird about it. I'm not a femboy or a sissy but I'm a trans woman. Same deal with cross dressers. I'm just not a crossdresser and I don't want people thinking I am