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definitely not just uploading a picture of one of my plants because i forgot about this mega
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From what I hear from other people, they have an ick towards the very idea. No fantasies of trying it either. I can't relate to that.
But it's not about the meat. I don't care for the taste of meat.
It's about taking control and violence. It's the desire to make others helpless instead of me being helpless.
I know that this motivation aligns with other types of unsavoury behaviours. If it weren't about that I'd have never felt such guilt about it in the first place.
As for your example. Would I eat a plate of (ethically sourced*) human meat served to me? Idk. I can't imagine I wouldn't try.
*the person consented, wasn't paid, died of natural causes
Side note I would have a problem just with sitting on the same table as them.
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Wanting to take control could very easily just be a dommey side of yourself that youve kept on lock down for one reason or another. Or just a desire for self-liberation, youre saying it's tied to other ways of feeling powerful while laying low others.Youre not the first trans girl who's got a thing for it. Scroll through Tumblr, its like a meme and stereotype swear to god.
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Dommy side. Maybe. I know I don't have to feel guilt about it. But what makes me afraid is that my nature is too violent. That given my history of being SA'd my fantasies are much more corrupted that simply being a domme. I wouldn't be fit for it.
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It's sooo dominating. Probably one of the most extreme ways. I'd eat someone too, especially if they were a bad person.Holy
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How are you this in sync with me?????
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I think you'd be shocked if I undeleted my comment lolspoiler
You ... you can't just say this to me and not tell me what the comment was!
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More or less that I would eat a bad person, but then I just wasn't super happy with how it sounded and doubted myself if that was something to say or if I was just derailing your thread.Because yea, it would be super dominating over them
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So, notice how in your hypothetical the plate is served to you and you aren't actually taking part in the process itself. You're just pushing the discomfort off onto someone else and disconnecting yourself from your (hypothetical) food source in the same way people who eat meat often do. But because of this distance you aren't really engaging in the act of cannibalism proper as an ethical concern. Not to mention, practically speaking, you don't know if the person actually consented until the very last second before they died (they died of natural causes after all (which side note would probably mean the meat is more dangerous for you, what it that cause is a disease for instance) so you can't prove that they didn't revoke consent at the last second).A better hypothetical for an "ethical cannibalism" is imo the Canadian law option wherein you are allowed to eat human meat if there is evidence of sustained consent and the donor does not die. So, would you, personally, cut up a person saying she is okay with being cut up and eaten while probably being in quite some pain? Is that really ethical to you at all? Or does that hit your discomfort point, when the actual act of preparation is given to you. Because that tends to be the same point where meat eaters get uncomfortable too.
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I used the serving plate example cause that's what terminal said. My specific fantasies goes as far as me cracking open skulls and scooping the insides like ice cream.
As for your example of someone being in pain while I eat them? If I didn't hate that person (ex - this person was a corporate/fascist responsible for lots of suffering), then doing this to a person would still be enjoyable. And guilt inducing enough for me to jump off a bridge afterwards. That's what I think it'd go like if I actually went through with eating them.
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So, yes, you would be uncomfortable with it in the form of guilt, but have the fantasy urge nonetheless and lack the initial disgust impulse.I don't see why them being a corpo or fash would make it better. Cannibalism isn't really equivalent to just killing, it's ethically more akin to sexual assault (defilement of body without consent (which, if the person is someone you hate, they wouldn't consent to you doing it, unless it's under duress)). Cruelty for the sake of cruelty isn't ethically justifiable just because the person was herself cruel.
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It's more so that I wouldn't feel guilt about it.
I know, which is why it's another reason I hate myself and why I put off discussing this when I first brought it up. Cause this just clicked when I thought about it and it spooked me too much.
::: spoiler spoiler 1 thing then I'm stepping out of this because it is obvious my philo brain is not helpful rn:
Fantasies are inert so long as they do not influence action or belief. Punishing yourself for having the fantasy itself isn't helpful. Working to decouple the fantasy from your self-image and beliefs is usually better.