Hiiii!
Today: a short yap about computer hardware:
Damn I love the AM4 socket its so upgradable yay, bought a Ryzen 9 5900X for our old desktop soon to be homelab and so excited for it.
Computers are fun! ~~(and expensive)~~
Join our public Matrix server!
https://matrix.to//#/#tracha-space:transfem.dev
https://rentry.co/tracha#tracha-rooms
As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
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Same CWs
Pregnancy has never been on my radar but I totally get the feeling of hopelessness dysphoria gives you when it comes to things that are not currently changeable, it can be really cruel sometimes. And if it has already gotten so bad for you that you’re feeling suicidal, then I would heavily advise you to get professional help, if that’s an option for you.Because you’re still in your early 20s. You still have all your life ahead of you. So many things can change in just a few years even if they seem out of reach for now. When I was your age, I thought that I would never be able to get HRT and completely lost hope. But my dad managed to convince me to keep trying and even though it took 5 years, I finally got it in the end.
The same could be true with you having children. Uterus transplants are already a thing for cis women and I think it’s only a question of time that it will be accessible for us too and as I said: You’re still very young and you have lots of time left.
And even if it turns out to not be feasable, there is still the option of adoption or maybe surrogacy if that’s legal in your country. You’re not going to experience pregnancy this way, but breastfeeding can also give you motherly feelings.
So I hope you can handle your dysphoria for now and maybe stumble upon a solution that works for you in the future. Wish you the best.
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I can't get professional help for at least the next 8 months as I'll have a very high risk of being denied surgeries if I have any mental health issues listed in my health journal. And generally I don't trust the healthcare system in my country at all so I'll likely never seek help for my mental health. And I'm not actively suicidal at all, so I'm not in any danger right now.Yeah, but the life ahead of me seems like a waste of time. Idk what I'm supposed to look forward to, like I have career aspirations and other things I want to do, but overall it seems meaningless. I'll never be cis which is the one thing I truly want.
I'm not really hopeful in regards to uterus transplants. I'll probably be in my 30s if it ever becomes a reality and I'd likely be out of consideration. And knowing my country it would not be offered at all.
I've thought about adoption, but adoption seems to be rife with issues. I recall reading posts by people who were adopted who were basically against adoption, but idk. The main issue also seems to be that adoption in my country takes 3+ years for single people and being a single parent is very tough.
Idk I guess my mood is scuffed since I'll have to bring up being trans to a guy I went on a date with recently tomorrow and statistically I'll be rejected, so yaa another wonderful thing about being trans...
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Damn, completely sucks that you’re being denied access to such an important thing because even if you’re not actively suicidal, you shouldn’t take these thoughts lightly.But professional help also includes social workers. They could probably help you find something that you could enjoy in your life and keeps you motivated. The one I’m seeing is offering me a plethora of different group activities and options that could be interesting for you too. Maybe it’s worth taking a look at that.
Regarding uterus transplantations: 30s is not too late at all. The cis women that got one were mostly around that age. And if your country’s healthcare system doesn’t pay for it, there’s still the option of paying it out of your own pocket. It’s currently about 100.000€, so not tooooooo bad. Definitely doable if your income is a bit higher.
And I also took a look if surrogacy is an option in Denmark and it seems that if there’s no money involved it’s legal. So if you can’t get your hands on a uterus and adoption is still not an option for you in the future, you still have that possibility.
Yeah, dating as a trans person is a nightmare, especially as a straight woman. Completely understandable that you’re feeling that way.
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Yeah Denmark is an awful country. Idk I don't really care about these thoughts, I feel kind of messed up like sometimes I actively want to get worse, but I managed to mostly get my life back on track so I'll hopefully not screw it up again.I don't think I'm sick/dysfunctional enough to qualify for help by social workers. From the outside looking in I'm highly functional and most of my friends are shocked by how many things I manage to balance in my day to day life. And I don't trust the municipality either, so I won't seek help there either, it's too risky to do before I hopefully get the last surgery covered.
I might be able to save it up, but currently I'm saving up for 2nd FFS and possibly some other surgeries. The government also shafted me with a recent reform, so it complicates it a bit. I was thinking of moving to the US after finishing my degree, but I wouldn't be able to save much there for at least the first 5-6 years, so I'll have to decide on what to do as I don't want to stay in Denmark if possible.
Yeah I hate dating honestly, it's so terrible. Either the guy is a chaser or he'll reject me for being trans😭
Moving to the US seems like a questionable choice right now. I would take a look at Canada, New Zealand or Australia.
Erin Reed, who rates US states on trans risk, keeps saying Australia is the best English speaking country for trans people to migrate to in the long term. I don’t know what metrics she uses and so am somewhat baffled as an Australian there but it is probably better than the UK or Canada.
Yeah I was hoping Trump wouldn't win, but I'd be moving in 6 years if at all, so I'll have some time to see how the situation develops. Canada is not a possibility, but Australia and New Zealand are viable options though they are more restrictive in regards to what I could do with my degree. I'll have to see what happens, if by some miracle I'm in a relationship by the time I finish my degree I might stay in Denmark.