this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2024
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[–] [email protected] 11 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (1 children)

alcohol, nicotine, self crit, bit of preening too, dysphoria and some weird sexuality discomfort stuff

Telling myself "I'll stop drinking and smoking again after New Year's" pain yes-honey-left

Neglected my upper body shit and just did cardio today but honestly had my best session ever??? Hit 1111 kcals burned on incline treadmill in one sesh and was going for more than an hour without a break

Did good on household chore stuff and the kitties were pretty good today

Feeling weird about myself tbh

Like, not even necessarily bad but odd, I've felt a bit more masc/butch than I usually do lately and I dunno what to make of that

Part of it is presenting kinda more androgynous and spending a lot of time in proximity to gym bros and not wanting to stand out too bad in an uncomfortable way and masking my gender shit and queerness

Part of it could be endocrinology shit from exercising a ton and my levels might be out of whack in a more masc skew

Libido's been higher than usual? Kind of an annoying chore tbh, I've kinda felt like I did fairly early into both of my puberties where it was like "goddamit, seriously again??"

Feel bad about looking at random ppl with some thirst, especially women and feel bad about feeling like my attractions and impulses are too male and feel bad for the women like in the abstract just from being attracted to them

Feel bad about weird smut shit I've looked at that was hot and then immediately off-putting after uh, interest wore of because off uhh, accomplishing the goal there

Have some weird feelings and thoughts about gender and sexuality and idk if I wanna get into them now but idk, feel weird

I neglected some self care grooming shit today just out of exhaustion and feel bad about it

I feel like I'm craving some feminine social interaction and femmy stuff for myself, I don't remember the last time I wore makeup or dressed up or did a manicure and I feel like I'm neglecting part of myself and feel kinda sad about it

Generally lonely and weird feeling

Idk, but I'm glad to be able to post here and interact with you lovely ppl cat-trans

[–] [email protected] 7 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

test post please ignore

Part of it could be endocrinology shit from exercising a ton and my levels might be out of whack in a more masc skew

Someone can correct me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure exercise doesn't do anything to your hormone levels, so being a gymrat likely isn't related??

feel bad about feeling like my attractions and impulses are too male

Do u wanna talk abt "male" attractions and impulses............

Have some weird feelings and thoughts about gender and sexuality and idk if I wanna get into them now but idk, feel weird

If u do wanna get into em I wanna listen, could be good. I find your feelin a bit more masc/butch to be interesting tbh.

You should get some feminine social interaction and femmy stuff for yourself as well, you deserve it cat-trans Hope the loney and weird feeling doesn't last long

[–] [email protected] 7 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

meow-hug

sexuality/gender stuff, masc/butch feelings being kinda dysphoric stuff

If u do wanna get into em I wanna listen, could be good. I find your feelin a bit more masc/butch to be interesting tbh.

Yeah, idk? I know part of it is just from being more masc masking socially lately but feeling attracted to a woman "in a male way" makes me really uncomfortable

I feel like my sense of self is like, 65% femme 35% queer uh, not-man but kinda masc?? "Boi" maybe? Idk. Whatever that blend is pretty much describe my sense of enbyness and self though, I'm definitely not a guy and I don't really think of myself as a "woman" ever per se but I frequently feel like I'm "lady-adjacent" kinda? Maybe a third thing or in the middle a bit slanted towards femme-ier?

Anyway the attraction impulses towards women make me uncomfortable partially because it reminds me of feeling like a "straight" "boy" as a teen before I realized I was queer and not really a guy actually

Uh sorry if TMI too but uh, the impulses being uh, kinda top-y is strange to me too

(I find women beautiful and lovely but uh, kinda a bottom and am most attracted to like, futchy top energy women generally and the thought of topping is strange and dysphoric to me, it's like, the sexuality equivalent of writing left handed to me mentally and makes me uncomfortable and weird feeling about "seeming like a guy" or "not really a trans femme)

((I don't think this way about other trans femmes who are tips or vers, it's just a weird internal hangup)

Idk, I wanna do better at self care

Might do a home spa day thing tomorrow and paint my nails or something

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

waow

I know part of it is just from being more masc masking socially

I dunno if I know this one but I think I kinda do. When I had guyfriends in the past, it was kinda draining to talk to them. It's probably hard to explain without illustrating in detail how profoundly fuckin weird I am, but they weren't talkin about stuff I wanted to or in ways I wanted to. This that we're having now, LocalOaf, would not happen with The Boys. They could never catgirl-peace

Anyway I'm being a pithy asshole but I'm still waiting on a good definition of "male attraction". Usually people do just mean being top-y, and so I've never really managed to nail down what attraction models are gendered how... In split attraction model, is purely sensual-sexual a MALE attraction? Idk... (annoying annoying) To quit being a huge dickhead for a sec:

make me uncomfortable partially because it reminds me of feeling like a "straight" "boy" as a teen before I realized I was queer and not really a guy actually

Yeah I mean that's understandable honestly, not really a pleasant reminder. I realise now that one of the reasons I'm so chill (relatively speaking bulborb-stare ) is that there's a pretty solid dividing line between the "me now" and the me that everyone thought was a guy. I guess the difference for me is, I stopped feeling a lot of the weird shit I felt when I was 14 years old. If you're still feelin the same ways and unlikely to change, disentangling those feelings from your past could be a project. By the same token though:

the thought of topping is strange and dysphoric to me, it's like, the sexuality equivalent of writing left handed to me mentally and makes me uncomfortable and weird feeling about "seeming like a guy" or "not really a trans femme

I mean, it doesn't make you seem-like-a-guy or not-really-trans-femme, y'know. You are ALLOWED to think and feel and do, it is allowed. But also if it's dysphoric and unpleasant for you, again, project... Idk like, are you gonna stop feeling these types of sexual attraction?

Also lmao of course, it is ALWAYS only a weird internal hangup that applies to ourselves...

I'm definitely not a guy and I don't really think of myself as a "woman" ever per se but I frequently feel like I'm "lady-adjacent" kinda? Maybe a third thing or in the middle a bit slanted towards femme-ier?

Pretty cool if u ask me =) and I can relate to the selfcare thing, I feel like an unkempt street animal somewhat frequently which I do not like. I haven't really built up the inner want to just dress pretty around the house though, Idk sweatpants comfy..........

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

sexuality/gender stuffYou're not being "a pithy asshole" about it at all lol, thank you for the reply. trans-heart

I dunno. Part of the hangup towards women is just the discomfort of hypothetically approaching someone I'm attracted to irl and feeling like I have to explain myself. I think I'm only really able to date other queer people and not knowing if someone I'm attracted to is a cishet or not from first impressions can be daunting. Part of it too is like, feeling weird about seeing myself as desirable to someone else? Like "wait, what if I am attractive to someone, but in the wrong way ohnoes "

I've been gendered as a (kinda fruity) guy before by cis women who seemed interested and it really kinda put cold water on the interaction like immediately for me, like "oh honey you're nice but you've got me all wrong and I don't have the energy to explain things when I can tell you're looking for something/someone else altogether from the start here" if that makes any sense

Maybe weird too, but I have less hangups about that with being flirted at by gay men?? Like sorry to any gay men that might find it offensive, I don't mean anything bad by it, but something about gay flirting even if they're misreading me as a queer guy still feels to me like "well at least they can tell I'm not a straight guy" and like, "being read as queer (bottom)" by a guy is... uh, kinda Gender in an indirect way for me? Like, mentally to me, being misgendered like that isn't as bad as misgendered as a straight guy if that makes any sense? "Guy (straight)" and "guy (queer, being flirted with under a presumed dynamic of being read as a bottom or bottom-y verse by someone that seems like a top)" feel like, distinctly different genders to think of myself as being misread as internally if that makes any sense?

I dunno

This whole thing smacks of Gender, etc

grill dril

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

which is rad btwOkay well you are welcome then trans-heart

the discomfort of hypothetically approaching someone I'm attracted to irl and feeling like I have to explain myself. I think I'm only really able to date other queer people and not knowing if someone I'm attracted to is a cishet or not from first impressions can be daunting. Part of it too is like, feeling weird about seeing myself as desirable to someone else? Like "wait, what if I am attractive to someone, but in the wrong way

Oh yeah, I mean this is a whole seperate thing I think. I'd be fucking pissed if a cis woman ever misconstrued me as a fuckin' fruity boy. And being misconstrued as a straight guy is just erasure. We cannot trust the cis catgirl-disgust

I think the difference in approach makes sense, though. Your gender percentages almost rsad as genderfluid to me at points... but it's like, it reads to me that being read as Queer (bottom) is close enough to Gender for you, maybe it's the contrast between you and the presumably-masc gay guy doing the flirting? But when you approach a woman, you wanna be related to inna femme way, right? So having a woman treat you that way is not fuckin pleasant. Tell me how offbase I am, but I think I get it.

Also this top-bottom sexual social order is distressing wtffffff doggirl-sweat the genders are determined by sexual role?? More power to ya...

TL;DR this post has been fact checked by TRUE TRANSGENDER PATRIOTS and rated T4T.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

spoilerI mean, I'm not insinuating that those are like, Genderℒ️ genders, but the way orientation interacts with gender is kinda fascinating to me? Like, is "man (straight)" a different gender than "man (gay)"? Is "woman (straight)" different than "woman (lesbian)"? Or like "man (masculine)" vs "guy", or "lesbian (femme)" vs "lesbian (butch)" or stone butch as its own gender identity? Idk, it's fascinating to me. (also people who self ID as "fem boy" but not as a trans femme? No shade to anyone, I just find it all interesting and confusing at times as someone that often feels like they (ze? see even cementing that mentally feels odd for me) are only ever at best approximating my own sense of self by relation to noticing how other people relate to each other and working it out for myself by process of elimination of what doesn't fit for me. creature

something something gender? I 'ardly knew 'er, nyuck nyuck nyuck liz-society

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

spoilerGender is fuckin fake shit...

I mean, while sexuality is very arguably marginalised more due to its gender connotations as per Bornstein, (because queerness breaks cisheteronormativity) practically speaking I am pretty sure woman (straight) and woman (lesbian) can be pretty much the same gender. I think. It also depends on how much one considers sexuality to be an essential element of gender though, which varies...

See like, what if we just didn't think about it and were just gay (or other) instead? badeline-bruh This shit's such a brainrotter because there aren't actual definitions. It was made up, but by funny queers this time.

I just find it all interesting and confusing at times as someone that often feels like they (ze? see even cementing that mentally feels odd for me) are only ever at best approximating my own sense of self by relation to noticing how other people relate to each other and working it out for myself by process of elimination of what doesn't fit for me.

Idk your pronouns are pretty neato to me =) and I mean, I think that's an okay tactic, I mean what else are you supposed to do, right? Sadly I don't think there's theory that helps tell you what your gender is, unless you're a very specific strain of gender accelerationist.

I dunno, what do you want to be? Considering that you can be pretty much whatever, y'know. Whatever feels good to u.