traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
-
Please follow the Hexbear Code of Conduct
-
Selfies are not permitted for the personal safety of users.
-
No personal identifying information may be posted or commented.
-
Stay on topic (trans/gender stuff).
-
Bring a trans friend!
-
Any image post that gets 200 upvotes with "banner" or "rule 6" in the title becomes the new banner.
-
Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.
-
When made outside of NSFW tagged posts, comments about dysphoria/traumatic/transphobic material should be spoiler tagged.
-
Arguing in favor of transmedicalism is unacceptable. This is an inclusive and intersectional community.
-
While this is mostly a meme community, we allow most trans related posts as we grow the trans community on the fediverse.
If you need your neopronouns added to the list, please contact the site admins.
Remember to report rulebreaking posts, don't assume someone else has already done it!
Matrix Group Chat:
Suggested Matrix Client: Cinny
https://rentry.co/tracha (Includes rules and invite link)
WEBRINGS:
π³οΈββ§οΈ Transmasculine Pride Ring π³οΈββ§οΈ
β¬ οΈ Left π³οΈββ§οΈπ³οΈβπ Be Crime Do Gay Webring π³οΈββ§οΈπ³οΈβπ Right β‘οΈ
view the rest of the comments
waow
I dunno if I know this one but I think I kinda do. When I had guyfriends in the past, it was kinda draining to talk to them. It's probably hard to explain without illustrating in detail how profoundly fuckin weird I am, but they weren't talkin about stuff I wanted to or in ways I wanted to. This that we're having now, LocalOaf, would not happen with The Boys. They could never
Anyway I'm being a pithy asshole but I'm still waiting on a good definition of "male attraction". Usually people do just mean being top-y, and so I've never really managed to nail down what attraction models are gendered how... In split attraction model, is purely sensual-sexual a MALE attraction? Idk... (annoying annoying) To quit being a huge dickhead for a sec:
Yeah I mean that's understandable honestly, not really a pleasant reminder. I realise now that one of the reasons I'm so chill (relatively speaking ) is that there's a pretty solid dividing line between the "me now" and the me that everyone thought was a guy. I guess the difference for me is, I stopped feeling a lot of the weird shit I felt when I was 14 years old. If you're still feelin the same ways and unlikely to change, disentangling those feelings from your past could be a project. By the same token though:
I mean, it doesn't make you seem-like-a-guy or not-really-trans-femme, y'know. You are ALLOWED to think and feel and do, it is allowed. But also if it's dysphoric and unpleasant for you, again, project... Idk like, are you gonna stop feeling these types of sexual attraction?
Also lmao of course, it is ALWAYS only a weird internal hangup that applies to ourselves...
Pretty cool if u ask me =) and I can relate to the selfcare thing, I feel like an unkempt street animal somewhat frequently which I do not like. I haven't really built up the inner want to just dress pretty around the house though, Idk sweatpants comfy..........
sexuality/gender stuff
You're not being "a pithy asshole" about it at all lol, thank you for the reply.I dunno. Part of the hangup towards women is just the discomfort of hypothetically approaching someone I'm attracted to irl and feeling like I have to explain myself. I think I'm only really able to date other queer people and not knowing if someone I'm attracted to is a cishet or not from first impressions can be daunting. Part of it too is like, feeling weird about seeing myself as desirable to someone else? Like "wait, what if I am attractive to someone, but in the wrong way "
I've been gendered as a (kinda fruity) guy before by cis women who seemed interested and it really kinda put cold water on the interaction like immediately for me, like "oh honey you're nice but you've got me all wrong and I don't have the energy to explain things when I can tell you're looking for something/someone else altogether from the start here" if that makes any sense
Maybe weird too, but I have less hangups about that with being flirted at by gay men?? Like sorry to any gay men that might find it offensive, I don't mean anything bad by it, but something about gay flirting even if they're misreading me as a queer guy still feels to me like "well at least they can tell I'm not a straight guy" and like, "being read as queer (bottom)" by a guy is... uh, kinda Gender in an indirect way for me? Like, mentally to me, being misgendered like that isn't as bad as misgendered as a straight guy if that makes any sense? "Guy (straight)" and "guy (queer, being flirted with under a presumed dynamic of being read as a bottom or bottom-y verse by someone that seems like a top)" feel like, distinctly different genders to think of myself as being misread as internally if that makes any sense?
I dunno
This whole thing smacks of Gender, etc
which is rad btw
Okay well you are welcome thenOh yeah, I mean this is a whole seperate thing I think. I'd be fucking pissed if a cis woman ever misconstrued me as a fuckin' fruity boy. And being misconstrued as a straight guy is just erasure. We cannot trust the cis
I think the difference in approach makes sense, though. Your gender percentages almost rsad as genderfluid to me at points... but it's like, it reads to me that being read as Queer (bottom) is close enough to Gender for you, maybe it's the contrast between you and the presumably-masc gay guy doing the flirting? But when you approach a woman, you wanna be related to inna femme way, right? So having a woman treat you that way is not fuckin pleasant. Tell me how offbase I am, but I think I get it.
Also this top-bottom sexual social order is distressing wtffffff the genders are determined by sexual role?? More power to ya...
TL;DR this post has been fact checked by TRUE TRANSGENDER PATRIOTS and rated T4T.
spoiler
I mean, I'm not insinuating that those are like, Genderβ’οΈ genders, but the way orientation interacts with gender is kinda fascinating to me? Like, is "man (straight)" a different gender than "man (gay)"? Is "woman (straight)" different than "woman (lesbian)"? Or like "man (masculine)" vs "guy", or "lesbian (femme)" vs "lesbian (butch)" or stone butch as its own gender identity? Idk, it's fascinating to me. (also people who self ID as "fem boy" but not as a trans femme? No shade to anyone, I just find it all interesting and confusing at times as someone that often feels like they (ze? see even cementing that mentally feels odd for me) are only ever at best approximating my own sense of self by relation to noticing how other people relate to each other and working it out for myself by process of elimination of what doesn't fit for me.something something gender? I 'ardly knew 'er, nyuck nyuck nyuck
spoiler
Gender is fuckin fake shit...I mean, while sexuality is very arguably marginalised more due to its gender connotations as per Bornstein, (because queerness breaks cisheteronormativity) practically speaking I am pretty sure woman (straight) and woman (lesbian) can be pretty much the same gender. I think. It also depends on how much one considers sexuality to be an essential element of gender though, which varies...
See like, what if we just didn't think about it and were just gay (or other) instead? This shit's such a brainrotter because there aren't actual definitions. It was made up, but by funny queers this time.
Idk your pronouns are pretty neato to me =) and I mean, I think that's an okay tactic, I mean what else are you supposed to do, right? Sadly I don't think there's theory that helps tell you what your gender is, unless you're a very specific strain of gender accelerationist.
I dunno, what do you want to be? Considering that you can be pretty much whatever, y'know. Whatever feels good to u.
spoiler
Aww, thanks!
I kinda like ze/hir but never used them irl and pretty much just go by they/them with IRL ppl and usually don't bother correcting strangers, might work on that but idk, I kinda just hate the hassle most of the time more than the occasional misgendering bugs me but ehhh
Ain't that the million dollar question lol
This feels silly to think and I shy away from really articulating this sometimes because I feel like it might come across as insensitive to binary trans ppl but uh
~I~ ~kinda~ ~really~ ~wish~ ~I~ ~was~ ~an~ ~AFAB~ ~enby?~
Like, I'm getting better about my self image and less uncomfortable with things I can't change and focusing on improving the things I can, but height/frame and junk bug me and bottom surgery seems really scary to me and is financially something that's miles and miles away for me if I ever wanted it and ehhhh, idk how I feel about it
One of the things that sticks in my head thinking about my appearance and bums me out sometimes is often thinking "I wish other people could describe me as 'elegant' and that doesn't really seem attainable in a way I'd be happy with given the hand I've been dealt"
I like feeling strong, but I just feel... clunky? Or "the wrong kind of androgynous for what I want?" I dunno, it's kinda hard to pin down sometimes but I frequently feel "off" like my sense of self has a hole in its sock or something
::: spoiler spoiler
I gotta admit yea, and I don't even have cool pronouns. Whenever people irl are like 'woman!' it's just, yeah whatever y'know, close enough.
What if it was insensitive to non binary trans people Sorry the more I think about this the less sense it makes, I dunno. Only by being assigned female can you be short, have small frame and vulva? I get the point but it doesn't feel on to me, Idk.
I think I sort of grasp this, but this is also getting sort of impressionistic, a bit abstract. I mean, I know what "the wrong kind of androgynous" means sort of, because that's when you are androgynous but randomly with gender connotations, blegh this shit is awful.
I'm not trying to be a jackass or anything, I'm just having trouble grasping this all the way, Idk