I hope everyone had a great week last week. Hopefully this one turns out even better for everyone.
this post was submitted on 06 May 2024
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From one intrusive thoughts haver to another, what you've described in past posts sounds like OCD to me. If it's taking over your life, it's no longer really subclinical imo. I wish I had a good solution, but to be honest I'm still mired in this hell myself and trying to claw out of it.
Here's an OCD channel that helps me sometimes when I get really stuck in my head and need some perspective that it's not just me.
I'm hoping it's something that goes away with adjustment of my hormones. I want to get my levels checked today but I'm trying to figure out if my doctor put in an order for me... I'm just hoping there's a more simple fix for this because I spent a lot of my life with for sure intrusive thoughts and anxiety but this is some other beast, I've never felt this shit for so long and I'm so so so scared that it means that I can't be on estrogen or something...
Somehow I just need to not care about the thoughts, or just kinda ignore them which is what I did my whole life. I need to get back to there but it seems impossible
Haha... sitting with my thoughts instead of doing mental compulsions? What's that?
I've also had the experience where my intrusive thoughts and anxiety flared after a period where they were present but not a huge problem. For me it happened a few years ago. I think this is a relatively common experience with OCD; at least I've seen other people describe similar things. I hope things get better for you.
Hopefully you've had moments of relief over the last few years at least. This lasting years is... horrifying. Have you had any luck with medications?
I have, I should try to get back on them again.
Are you seeing a therapist or anything? In my experience most therapists are... not very well-equipped to handle and treat OCD and I still haven't had luck with finding a therapist I like. I've been thinking about seeking out an OCD therapist specifically. It's unfortunately a really poorly understood mental health issue for how well-known it is.
Fuxking OCD therapy is so expensive. Wondering if my insurance covers NOCD or whatever that app is. I've also been listening to an audio book- "Freedom from Obsessive compulsive disorder" and that's been good. It's on spotify for free if you already pay for spotify
Yeah, my therapist strongly doesn't believe that I have it and thinks I just need to like, fight the thoughts and tell myself they are wrong and stuff (this absolutely doesn't help me because I already know that intrusive thoughts are just that, intellectually. But it doesn't feel this way, which is the problem and I'm neber 100% sure either)
Specialized OCD treatment is definitely way too expensive, it's an issue. Also, worrying that your intrusive thoughts aren't intrusive is another common thing in OCD.
Also thank you for the resource. I have watched a few videos now and really he is so right about just sitting with the thoughts but my god it's so much easier said than done. I'm gonna really try though