theangryseal

Mike Tyson is more than a man. He could’ve entered the ring in a frilly pink skirt with a lollipop sticking out of his ass and he would have still been terrifying.

Being in school was wild when that happened. My school banned baggy pants over night and required us to carry clear backpacks. We weren’t allowed to carry more than the book we needed for the next class, and cameras went up.

I was overheard telling a friend (jokingly) that I was going to kill myself if I had to take another timed test. Police showed up soon after and handcuffed me. Some girl overheard me and swore I said I was going to kill other people. Luckily one of the officers was from my neighborhood and believed me, but I was still suspended and he drove me home.

You know what really sucks though? All these years later and people are still terrified. Last week I woke up a few minutes after my teenage daughter got on the bus, my wife said, “Maybe you should go get her. Someone has threatened to shoot up the school.” I drove over and got her, fortunately the officer guarding the door just let her leave with me and was understanding. A day later and another threat hits. Someone says they’re going to shoot up the pep rally. I didn’t send her to school. Two unexcused absences in one week at the beginning of the school year over that shit.

She did online school last year and it was a nightmare, but I’m all over the place on that right now. I want her to be able to make friends and things. It wasn’t healthy for her last year. I only did that because her mom had recently died and I wanted to give her a break from everything.

I guess some kids thought it would be funny to do that last week. I just wish no one had to take them seriously.

I swear, I was standing outside having a smoke and bitching to my wife about how your comment was driving me insane. “Babe, I’m thinking it was Tucker, but all I can come up with is Tucker Carlson and, well, we both know that isn’t…MAX. It’s fucking TUCKER MAX!!! That’s it! I know that’s it!”

Haha, I swear I was going insane. It was on the tip of my tongue.

The relief I felt, oh my god!

Went further than “made fun of him”. They legit called on people to harass him and threaten his girlfriend with rape.

I guess it depends on where you get your info. We’ll see what happens eventually.

TUCKER MAX! Holy shit this has been driving me crazy. It just came to me out of nowhere. That’s who wrote it. I could be wrong but I don’t think so. The level of relief I feel makes me confident enough to make this comment before I go digging.

Edit:

I can’t find the story, but we both have a good memory because it’s clear he built his career from that one.

All of them be trying to charge us to be alive. If my landlord could come up with a good enough reason to charge me to breathe, he’d put it on the invoice.

Watch the clip. If dude’s name had been Bob and not Nicky it wouldn’t have happened.

Still though, your point stands and it’s still one of the funniest, most awkward moments caught on video. :p

I always assumed he rubbed them on his pits. Now that you ask, maybe he carried them around or something.

I bought one of the Maddox tshirts back in the day. When I moved, someone broke into my house and stole my clothes.

I was at work a few weeks later when an old junkie came in wearing my Maddox tshirt. I said, “Cool shirt man.” He replied, “Well, I ain’t a communist, I just wear whatever I can get at the thrift store.” I replied, “You mean whatever you stole from my house, right? That isn’t a communist shirt, it’s a dude who writes comedy on the internet.”

He swore he didn’t steal it. Mine was the only one I ever seen.

He has a YouTube channel these days.

I never got bored with him haha.

His wasn’t the Astro glide story, but he did link to that site on his page. I can’t remember that dude’s name though.

It was a great story.