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if you call everyone dude and a transfem person gets mad about it, don't get defensive. just say like "sorry, i won't do it again" and don't argue "actually it's gender neutral" or "i call everyone dude". even if you do, i guarantee she's heard that argument from someone who very much does not call people they see as women dude. i certainly have
same goes double for the word guy.
What aboot Canadian "buddy" and "pal"? I tend not to take offense aboot it because I figure they don't know any better.
lol the speaker started talking about this during a lecture about unconscious bias training and I immediately checked out, especially because the rest of the lecture had literally nothing to do with implicit bias, even though she kept claiming it did. it was kind of infuriating.
also 100 replies in this thread is extremely sus.
idk what happened tbh, this was just something that frustrates me and i wanted to complain and then like 20 people made jokes and it ended up on the main page when sorting by hot
There is only one dude, and he is The Dude. All other use of the term is unlawful.
This is a direct attack on Kenan and Kel
"Hi! welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger!" That's all I remember. Besides the "he's a dude, she's a dude, they're (or we're) all dudes" bit
Gals is gender neutral
Both of these drive me crazy. Its like, why. Also, I just don't know if I'm getting misgendered or not. And it bothers me
I used to default to calling everyone dude unless they say otherwise. I call my sisters dude. Recently I have learned this is bad.
Luckily I am not a giant baby so it is nbd. I have resolved to not be like a boomer and let my language evolve without complaining
Side note I can understand why people may not want to be called dude. I hate being called "sis" or "girl" by gay dudes, it is both weirdly affirming and incredibly dysphoric all in the same package.
The only time I will accept the "dude is gender neutral" argument is if you are from Santa Cruz and we are in Santa Cruz.
Ok, tovarshi/tongzhi-men, instead of guys/dudes...
morelike, dude (derogatory), I feel the same way about mate, I've accidentally blurted out it implies reproduction more than once.
dude likely comes from Yankee Doodle, and later meant something like city slicker, think fancy man, or f#g (politely) π, dont call me dude, bro
If you've seen Easy Rider (1969), you know what happens to Yankee Dudes (they get murdered)
Anyway, I heard women and dudes used the other day and I can't stop laughing about it
I know we're trying to having a serious discussion, but I got distracted by the vriska pfp
Yeah, that's the thing. I have a friend who's enby and transitioned over the time I knew them. Ran into them earlier this year, and casually dropped a "dude" out of habit/forgetting, and then was like, "is that OK with you?" They're fine with it, but if they ever expressed otherwise I'd do my best not to call them that.
It's not rocket science. Just because I can call a woman "dude" doesn't magically change the meaning of the word.
I dont really call people dude, but I do say dood at the end of sentences like the Prinnies from Disgaea. It can get confusing so if someone said it stressed them out I would stop.
My dear ex-friend used to call me dude all the time, literally all the time and I loved it so much. And then another former friend, who I blocked because of shit related to this, just had to say some shit to me about this, when I was in the middle of having a meltdown over a fight I was having with them (my ex-friend), and it shouldβve been fairly obvious that I didnβt care that they called me dude.
(What made me block him in the end was that, he had met them, and because heβs known me for like 6 fucking years, I asked him to maybe try to talk to them. He didnβt want to because of something petty. He never took my feelings for them seriously. So fuck him.)
to be clear this is not saying no one can ever call a trans woman dude under any circumstances, it's just that if someone doesn't like being called something then you shouldn't call them that. and while some people use dude or guy gender neutrally, in my experience they're both gendered terms more often than not
Yeah, I get that. I just immediately commented what the title made me think of instead of actually reading the post because Iβm an American.
you know, fair enough. i do that too sometimes
i thought we'd made some progress on making dude gender neutral, but if that's not the case i'm just going to call everyone "fucker"
I'm a non native speaker and only officially learned basic grammar pronouns (I to they). All the street pronouns (dude, y'all, pardner) I've learned were from the internet.
What are the best gender neutral street pronouns in current use?
y'all, all, folks, would all be commonly acceptable. honestly i try to just avoid the matter entirely when possible
These are all plural, though.
I'm thinking the case for dude is in expletives and third person references. Like "dude, totally tubular" and "the dude in front of me ordered a coke".
ohhhh ok, yeah. gender neutral language is hard. usually for the latter i just say 'person' and for the former i just cuss. i do sometimes notice "man" slipping into my speech, like "man that sucked" and i try to avoid it but i'm only so successful. expletives are often less targeted at the conversation partner so it feels less problematic to me but i still think it's generally polite to avoid unless you know someone is chill with it
Yeah, I have trouble with it given my limited vocabulary. I'm trying to develop some good habits.
"yo", " hey", "the person", " mate", "buddy", " pal"
going to be honest, though - directing any of these or even "dude"/"my guy" at the person you're talking to is fairly accusatory. you were pointed to the plural forms because they soften the blow.