Due to being in treatment for depression I am doing a lot of mindfullness excercises, or trying to. Literally as soon as I focus on my body/myself as is instructed, I want to jump out of my skin. I always thought that I wasn't very dysphoric, I guess I have learnt better. At least it gave me the push needey to out myself to my doctor (treatment here has to go over her, but at least hrt is informed consent only)

I am wondering if my preference for utilitarian clothing will change as I get more comfortable in my body. I do like my comfy trekking shoes tbh, it is also a good way to get cred with local working class people to wear that brand(store brand from the local hardware chain, almost all phyisical workers run around in them), so there are also social benefits, especially if I am otherwise nonconforming.

Told my mom about how my breast growth has started and she got excited to teach me about bra shopping. I love her so much

None of the cis women in my family are very "feminine", for lack of a better term. They all have shorter hair than me, they all almost exclusively wear pants and I believe there is little to no majrup present in my house, let alone worn. My mother and I have shared shoes and jackets for the longest time. I think I wear more jewlery than her too.

This puts me in a situation where I am not quite sure how being a woman is much different aesthetically from how I have been till now. But it also makes it easy to "pass" amongst family.

Banking on the baggy sweater and tight jeans combination to carry me through my first year of transitioning.

going to start posting all my random bullshit in here

i want to talk about stuff to my trans coworker sooooo bad

her best friend (whos soon to be my boss since i stepped down) accidentally outed her to me but knew i was an "ally" (i'm not out at work)
she's not publicly out despite transitioning and i keep rehearsing ways to talk to her about it: "like OOOPs your BFF accidentally outed you to me but it's TOTALLY OK cause i am also trans now tell me what doctor you go to, etc. also please don't out me here (which seems unfair somehow)".

so much shit i want to talk about. first: HRT is fucking magic you can really see the changes in the last year. also her electrolysis seems to have fully taken at this point but mostly as someone terrified of the health care system i would love a personal recommendation. my only other option is to talk to my ex girlfriend who works as social worker and specializes in helping trans people. the other option is DIY which increasingly looks likely to be my path.

would it be wrong to tell her i know but also that i'm trans? or should i wait until she officially comes out (if she ever does, we live in a shitty part of a semi-shitty state).

Just got military service order in the mail, shit scared me, on a specific date I'll have to go there and have them check my galls (girl balls) or smth

I feel like I am living in this story. https://www.scribblehub.com/series/411745/to-own-the-libs/ (It's a good piece, I like it)

I am not in the US and not currently going to college, but I am rooming with a chud as a closeted trans woman. Just, you know, european flavour chud. Grandfather was high ranking SS(really proud of that). Compares pride to nazi parades, but mostly because he thinks it's unfair that people discriminate on fascists, but accept pride flags.

I told him that they should have thrown his grandpa into a mine after he complained about "the jews", didn't like that.

Luckily not violent, he said that he "accepts trans people if they don't talk about it all the time", and I am socially competent enough to room with him, without many issues. He likes my long hair, because he thinks long hair is manly(Vikings), as is haircare.

Like before he turned the fascism way dial up I got along well with him, there is a good person below metric tons of garbage.

Though his choice of yt content was always very suspect to me (one was about subliminal messages in music telling modern women to hate men, which was very funny) I do not know if the other people I could have gotten would be any better and it's only for a few weeks, and this weekend I will go clothes shopping with my cousine, who is without a doubt my most stylish relative and also really excited about it.

transgender cuddle pile movie nights: folks, they're good!

So I recently came out at work and talked about my gender dysphoria. Just saw on a tech forum that a coworker at my company posted a comment mocking trans people and telling somebody to say that "your mind was constantly disoriented by gender dysphoria" in response to getting in trouble with HR by accidentally endangering a coworker

This is word for word what I said in my email. They are 100% one of the ~90 people who received the email that I sent out

Finally restarting laser! It's only going to cost 1.5 paychecks for 6 treatments @.@ Tired of going to crappy med spas off of groupon and having incompetent techs.

And starting therapy!

Today is my third week HRT anniversary and last night my nipples started to feel sensitive and they feel weird today and my breasts are absolutely a bit bigger than they were! It's happening!!!

Infinite genocide to eepy i wanna not be so eepy it hurd my eyes