Oh God, this is such a manic comment. Normally I delete posts like this when I write them, but honestly I kinda want someone to see what my mania looks like writing wise. It's uh, very interesting I guess is a way to write it. IDK , some of my people think it's amazing others know exactly what it is and hate it. The lesson here is that I could have been the new Jim Jones if I wanted to. The better you know me, the know you know how true that is, I didn't come up with that comparison myself it was my old drug abuse councilor

Well, she's dating me. Sourcing cypro isn't the problem, I can still get literally any drug I want (recreational or otherwise) right now and I know this to be true. I've had dealer's choice of everything for years, even after I sobered the fuck up. There's nothing stopping me from purchasing any drug you can think of that's available in America. I provided my Mom her bougie ass birth control she gets only because she's married to a vice president in one of America's biggest companies. I'm able to get shit that even rich insurance companies in America can't get for their patients.

If I think I can convince her to try it, I'll source it and that's no big deal. But that's all contingent on getting her to actually try it and see what she thinks, if I can't get her willing to try it ordering it in will do no good. And uh, I'll just say it isn't easy to convince her to take anything that isn't prescribed by a doctor. She won't even take Ibuprofen when I offer it sometimes, we're not talking about normal drug avoidance I mean she won't even take basic OTC stuff. I'll be like "Gurl you've had a headache for 2 weeks straight" and she'll be like "Yeah but Advil (I actually only carry Naproxen, its always actual Advil) will make my tummy hurt :(" and then I have to fight the hood pharmacist inside of Leyla from just dropping an Advil in her mouth when she sleeps. Idk, I used to literally drug people with kratom to get them through withdrawal from fentanyl, I don't regret anything I did back then because every one of those people is still alive, but I've definitely done some morally questionable shit in this area for the right reason

Idk, maybe some of y'all don't remember but it was about 2 years ago I was posting on here asking about advice for providing people DIY HRT. I was creating sublingual Estrodial drops for monotherapy for people around me up until I went to rehab. I'd pay rent, people's med shipments, then spend the rest on alcohol to keep from withdrawals. I was also shipping in extras of everybody's meds because there was some fuckery going on with insurance at the time. I don't fully remember the context, but even my mom with bougie insurance was expecting to lose it. There's a reason I have such a great reputation in my city despite spending a very long time in the city as a junkie.

Sorry, I'm coming off my TCA/Main sleep med, I'm pretty manic and just shooting shit.i should have been asleep 4 hours ago but it just didn't work.

Fuck, I'm manic and it's about to affect someone big so I might as well mention this. You might get a chuckle out of this. I have a call scheduled with Brown University for the withdrawal guides I wrote on here forever ago. Someone reached out to me off site and said they had some questions about my withdrawal guides FROM ON HERE, which honestly in my opinion now that some time has passed since writing them, functional but mid, I've done better.

This is in 4 hours, I should have been sleeping this whole time but I lost access to many of the tools I use for sleep overnight. An ivy League University is literally interviewing me over posts I made on this site about 2 years ago, I feel like I'm getting fucking punked. Like huh, y'all couldn't have picked any other ex junkie that can tell people how to withdrawal from shit? I'm sure I'm not the only one writing shit like that, I'm not unique or special but for some fucking reason some people at Brown think I am.

Oh well, at least it's Brown. Only Ivy League school I would have answered, I would have told any other one to fuck off. But yeah, fucking with my head that I'm doing an interview where this site is part of it in 4 hours. Like what the fuck? Maybe this is why my fellow bipolar people are all more brain fried than me. They're just constantly getting hit with mind melting shit like this, because ain't no way in hell some neurotypical does anything good enough for people to actually like them a few years later for their actions. If hell exists, it's all neurotypicals because they're like deathly allergic to integrity.

Goddamn, amazing what manic rants sobriety gets me! I delete 80 percent of everything I type out on this website because I know it's usually just manic bullshit that doesn't matter, but you know what for once I'm going to make it everyone else's problem

dramatic peaking

for valerate or enanthate/cypionate? Enanthate is a lot flatter I didn't know if that was still too spiky for some people.

SHIT ur right it's way too late here. I was thinking of having too high relative SHBG levels, not T conversion.

...issue with Spiro is that upping her dose makes her very tired and groggy throughout the day. This week, she's been trying taking 2 one day and then 3 the next,

This is fine. I'm assuming she typically splits the total daily dosage so she's taking it about 12 hours apart? The half life is about 12 hours so this is the way you're supposed to do it. Again, more consistent levels are best for this. She could split the dosage so that she takes 1/3 in the morning and 2/3 at night. This might be more helpful for reducing grogginess.

I actually do personally take Spironolactone as a diuretic and only take it at night which is uhhhhh not what you're supposed to do if you're using it as an antiandrogen.

However, recently it's been making her nauseous, so I suggested that she look into boofing it.

Honestly, go for it. It absolutely works better as a suppository, but it also comes with a higher chance of negative side effects like depression or anxiety. It also typically has a much stronger sedative effect when taken via this route so do it pretty much immediately before bed. Watch out for a lowering of mood and if you do notice that, just switch back to the oral route.

If it's the micronized estradiol capsule that looks like a rugby ball, she can just shove it up there about an inch or two. Like, to the second knuckle of the index finger.

Fuck synthetic progesterones though. These are much more strongly associated with low mood and I'm not sure which if any can be successfully used as a suppository.

I'm really glad she's got a great healthcare org! Having providers that actually give a shit about their patients is so important and upsettingly not universal.