Space is cool. I think my favourite celestial body may actually be a type of collection of bodies? I enjoy star clusters and have had a pic of one as my computer lockscreen for several years, I think they are neat :)
Some nice examples are the sparkly looking globular cluster NGC 6569 or the very pretty open cluster w/nebula NGC 346
Yeah this is why I've never bought anything online, I have a strange shaped body. So even stuff that matches all the measurements I have will sit funny or look kind of off in general.
It’s a journey and bodies are weird for sure. I’m not always happy with the way i’m shaped :/, but finding clothing that flatters is important to helping us feel better about who we are, right? <3
You’re welcome! I love to info dump, it makes me feel useful lol. Well I’ve bought a few things online, but I haven’t always been diligent about measuring myself…i may or may not have some pants that fit a lil funny. I do think that figuring out what fits best is a learned skill.
And not all brands or makers will have size guides! So if they don’t have that info or it doesn’t seem detailed enough then steer clear. it’s more common than it used to be as online shopping is more of a thing I guess.
I still like going to a store and trying stuff on too, there’s no better way to find out what types of fits feel good.
You or your partner can also totally sew your own clothes, and it’s worth trying to see if you like it, there are a bazillion patterns out there that can be modified to fit. I’ve tried sewing myself in the past and don’t have much of a knack for it although maybe I could give it another shot … pants are probably one of the hardest things to make though. If I was gonna try and make a clothing item again I’d probably try something simpler like a skirt like this: https://icansewthis.com/simple-summer-skirt-pockets/
An art museum does seem like a good and safe place for a first attempt, very chill and reserved. And no need to talk to anyone and get potentially nervous feeling :o v smart indeed
I have been trawling various sites looking for recos on jeans. I did find a seller on etsy that will customize the fit of their garments to your measurements, so I’m gonna take a chance on that. Otherwise I may just pick up some women’s levi’s at some point. From what I can see, dress/pants size numbers in lady land make absolutely zero sense and are not a good thing to go by. Best to check the size guide of a vendor and make sure what size will accommodate your measurements best. Measuring tape is your friend!
Congrats to you for that, it’s a whole other level existing where strangers can see you! I think I need to get some more fem clothes, jeans w a higher waist kinda thing. I purged some stuff a while back and I regret it a lil now :s
<3 me too. I hope to work up to going outside a bit at some point
I went to the store and got a shaping bodysuit and a halloween wig in a black/green gradient. Did my makeup and spent the rest of the day working dressed fem at home. It felt…good and right and I had a lil fun dancing a bit and taking selfies, I actually felt kinda hot and like...happy. I surprised roomie when they got home and they said I looked really cute. Eee
I got my legs lasered for the first time today. Soo much better than getting the face done pain-wise. I go back for face again in 2 weeks.
Also I got some high waisted shaping panty briefs, they feel nice
Thank you very much for the nice response. It’s comforting to hear that i’m not the only one around here who had a realization later in life. I worry about fitting into trans and queer spaces for a while with how I look and act…but hopefully some of that will change. I do know some cool people who will probably ’get it’ but I guess we’ll see.
Also thank you, again, for the advice and resources. I am in Canada and live in a big city so it’s not bad wrt trans folk here, my doc did say he’d give me a referral to a specialist and there are some clinics that dispense HRT. But looking at some of this stuff it does seem like DIY methodology and available products are actually well thought out. I may look into procuring something anyway even if things work out w the medical system here.
Cw: wall of text, dysphoria, mentions of substance use, depression
Tap for spoiler
So… I’m older (42) and after spending a bunch of my life as a mediocre male I have managed to finally admit to myself I’m trans.
I should have put it together earlier or seen that something else was possible for me years ago, but I’ve been so repressed due to the time and place I grew up in. I can trace back to my youth times where I enjoyed dressing in femme clothes in private and was close friends with girls as a young child.
Those feelings would come and go over the years and I convinced myself that I was just a man who was less masc than a lot of guys and tried to just live with my head down. I have spent much of my time with my head elsewhere, in books, in games, in TV, inside drawings or music. I had grown up in an environment where anything slightly in that direction was “gay” and being gay was basically the worst thing you could be. I still liked girls so I thought I was just a little funny somehow and it wasn’t worth thinking about for fear of anything else.
I spent the next couple decades living a relatively “normal” life, going to uni, partying a lot, developing a career (somehow) even having a couple long term relationships which ultimately flamed out due to my own unhappiness. There were some good moments in those years but if there was any recurring theme, I was dissatisfied with myself and felt inadequate, like something was always missing.
It wasn’t until a couple years pre-covid in my mid 30s that I started to experiment with presenting myself differently in public(still cis though no big deal), wearing makeup and slightly more femme clothes, painting nails etc. At this point I had only existed as a cishet dude and was just starting to consider other possibilities figuring…I didn’t know what I was. I still didn’t know anyone who was trans and didn’t understand that that was something that could apply to me… I was just giving myself some room to express myself. I started to feel actually kind of good about where I was at and finally started to fix some things about myself, like exercising and going to a doctor for the first time in forever. Unfortunately that wouldn’t last very long.
Covid hit like a ton of bricks and sent me into a hole of isolation, depression and drinking…I’ve thankfully been able to remain employed at a good job but i’ve spent the last few years doing a lot of dissociating and not caring for myself well.
I’m on the other side of that now...but after some damage was done. I’m making better efforts to be healthy again but it’s hard. I still drink frequently. I spent a lot of my life as a twinkish looking person with fun hair and clothes, attempts to embrace my masculinity to a greater degree over the years have left me feeling like I’m wearing a mask that doesn’t feel right, or like I can’t live up to it in some way. Now navigating what aging as a man is doing to me, having to see that in the mirror is making me hate myself.
Things have not been great so I’m being medicated for depression now. I’ve been going to therapy (first time for everything) and it didn’t take too long after that began for me to finally admit that this internal conflict is meaningful and isn’t something to be ignored. I cried my eyes out on my way to therapy after looking at old pictures of myself in makeup. I outed myself as trans to my therapist that day.
I feel like if I transition now I’ll be kind of busted looking, and it’ll be a shock to people who have known me for years but I don’t think I’ll be happy with myself if I don’t try. I’m scared and at the same time I feel foolish and like I was robbed of a bunch of years and I wish things could have been different. So… here I am.
Still not totally sure what I am, NB/femme feels like the right direction. I had my first laser appointment today...shit hurts. I think I want to do HRT but it might take me some time to access that. I still will have a lot to work on otherwise like voice and behaviour things…and some of that maybe I don’t want to change. Maybe I will be forever clockable and somewhere in between. I worry about being accepted as someone who’s transfem and still attracted to women, although maybe I could be pan, idk how things will feel later. At this point I guess I feel that’s a better place for me to be than where I’ve been at, even if it seems weird to other people.
If there’s anything good for y’all to take out of this… for all of you that know who you are: that’s a good thing whatever you decide. Don’t be me and ignore what’s inside of you. Thank you for reading and for being here.
