HELLO THIS IS THE MEGA SIGN UP POST/LIST POST

if you have a preferred week please tell me

Shaleesh* (5/25 - 5/31)
GayTuckerCarlson* (6/1 - 6/7)
SwitchyandWitchy* (6/8 - 6/14)
Alisu* (6/15 - 6/21)
peanutbuttercupola* (6/22 - 6/28)
Disaster_of_Passion* (6/29 - 7/5)
Eco* (7/6 - 7/12)

​ * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters

got ffs

head hurt

goodnight

Summertime seasonal depression

bullshit from cishet guys

Why do some cishet guys feel so entitled to justifications of my sexuality? I present somewhat fruity, so like half of the ones I meet eventually ask me if I'm gay in an inflammatory tone. They are of course never satisfied when I say that I just like people and will always push and push either inmediately or in the next few days. Are you unable to read body language and figure out that I'm not okay with talking about that to you? I know the entire world is made for you so you can go around making people uncomfortable with no consequences but at some point your introspection has got to kick in.

Tragic: the most amazing girls in the world think theyre unlovable burdens on everyone

I think my dad hasn't really processed my being trans because I'm a lesbian, like he'd be mad if I dated men but because I'm interested in women I'm normal in his head.

Excited to see how he responds if and when I date another trans woman.

I hate being poor. Getting a new wardrobe is expensive... I should try thrifting

Ah shit I fucked around with huge highs of making massive life decisions and now I've found out by crashing hard right now.

Been feeling better the last couple of days, lunch with my lesbian friend was super nice, never had plantains before and holy shit they were good. Kinda expensive but good. Then we went and picked up a mattress lol.

I've still got a few more things I want to pack up, we aren't doing it all at once or anything but I'd like to get as much moved as possible.

Also need to shave everything sooooo bad it looks terrible, worst it's been since I started :/ disappointing tbh, just a really rough few weeks..

Slow trans news day huh.

CW parental trauma

My dad took my gentle pushback badly and went defensive civility lib.

I finally told my dad he was the primary source of all my childhood trauma and every time he reaches out I'm re-traumatised, I don't want him to contact me, unless I contact him and I'm done pretending to get along, he can do some work or never talk to me again.

I feel phenomenal.

Feeling both proud and lucky that I've been able to make emotionally supportive friends I can go to when I'm struggling. Never really had that before.

I've decided:

1. Am just gonna start girlmodding to uni. My jacket of protection is so run down I can't defend it anymore. Shit is literally RIPPING APART AT THE SEAMS. Not to mention the sweltering heat which I just can't stand
2. If anyone has a problem with me at uni fuck them.
3. If anyone asks questions, "I was always a girl you just didn't notice, and I thought it was funny to let you think otherwise"

This is a big step for me cause I'm going from "never girlmodes" to basically coming out permanently. Please hold me to this descision and don't let me change my mind.

suicide mention (technically I guess)

Although the summer season is the reason I am doing this, atp, fuck it. I can't take being in the closet anymore. Shit be so bad I CAN'T FOCUS ON MY LECTURES CAUSE I'M CONSTANTLY THINKING ABOUT OFFING MYSELF. Fucking christ.

A cis person is surprised I haven't been on hormones longer

A trans person is surprised I haven't been on hormones longer

Our visit was really nice :) might have had it built up in my head a bit much, but we had a good time and it's good seeing someone so unapologetically herself.

Forget she's a few years older then me, and very millennial coded lol.

Watching death note for the first time

death note. CW for mistreatment of women

Light is such a fucking piece of shit. Breaks my heart seeing how he is manipulating Misa, and how willingly Misa is letting herself get used 😔

L is no hero either. Im at the scene where Misa is arrested for suspicion of being of the second Kira. The Hannibal lecter setup they have Misa in is fucking evil and torturous.

They are giving her PTSD flashbacks to her previous stalker kidnapping attempt

Just throwing on a short skirt on top of whatever shit we were wearing still gives up a surprisingly good mood boost, esp w how low effort that is to do

I'm getting really close to just completely cutting my father out of my life (CW transphobia, racism, parental trauma, mention of SA)

He asked me how I was going and I said sincerely that I was actually feeling really bad. That hearing that the premier of the state I live in say I should go to a men's prison if I commit a crime, had caused me to have nightmares about being SA-d to death in prison (true nightmare I had).

And no sympathy, no "that's awful", he just said "oh well he has to say that to win over Muslim voters in the western suburbs of Sydney". I'm done with this man.

i did a bunch of job interviews these days and everyone gendered me correctly until i introduced myself btw i havent started hrt so im also bewildered i think thats the word

cw horny

it's been confirmed. working out definitely makes me more horny

down with cis

After establishing boundaries with dad, amicably resolving my relationship with my ex and transing my gender all in the last year and a half.

I feel so lighter, there doesn't seem to be any bigger monsters (except society) on the horizon.

Like head empty and queen of the highway for the first time in 30 years?

My fwb is sad so I'm sad

Logged into my old notes app to see if I could find the name of a DND character I created for a friend's campaign in high school

Instead I found the details of some of the conversations I'd had with my mom about my gender and WOW they were much worse than I remember... choice selections:

• I mentioned wanting to start hormones, which she was immediately unreceptive to. She proceeded to grill me on what I hoped to gain from it.

• Ultimately she said she didn't approve of me going on HRT without much intensive therapy beforehand, while recognizing that I can do what I want as an adult. Seemed unfazed by my plans to talk to medical professionals and listen to their advice.

Later...

• She said she wouldn't be able to handle watching me undergo HRT while living with me.

• She repeatedly stated she knew deep down there must be some other problem, that I am her son and that HRT wouldn't fix anything.

I can't come out to my bi fujo cousin who doesn't know I'm queer because she has no discretion and I won't come out to my straight fujo cousin who suspects I'm queer because she keeps saying increasingly funnier things to hint she's cool with it and I want to see how far she'll go

going through life as an amab

when a man takes hrt (talking about E)

Why are you saying it like this

Also cis people discouraging people from taking hrt and talking about how a trans woman is "putting people in boxes" for suggesting a dysphoric person try hrt is disgusting DOWN WITH THE CIS

Feels like I have less words to interact with the world lately. I'll need quite a bit soon when I job hunt and prep to move, so hopefully that changes when I need the energy.

It's mostly due to people trying to get back into my life again, which always throws me off. I don't consider them to be f*mily, but they can't accept that. Funny how people spend years burning a bridge over and over until you finally escape, then they wonder why you won't talk to them.

I'll be getting a new number soon, so looking forward to that.

"I'm a trans girl trying to style my hair. What should I....."

iwtv (movie for me, and then the show) really did a lot of work on me.

Thinking about something my mom said earlier and crying. We were doing maintenance on the fish tank and the conversation went something like this

We were talking about fruit and my mom mentioned me being really picky about it. I joked about having high standards for it (its because of the tism I'd guess but whatever). My dad says something about me not having high standards for the fish tank. Because it looks like shit, has looked like shit, I've been fucking depressed and have barely been taking care of anything. My dad does not see this. Anyway I joke that its half his fish tank too because idk what else to say.

Anyway then my mom says they got it mostly so my life would have some kind of meaning or purpose (I was extremely, extremely depressed at that point years ago). Im crying so hard rn. She's so right. My life has had no meaning or purpose and I've known it. The fish tank has been fantastic for me. I love fish so much. I've struggled a lot to take care of it, I mean obviously look at me. But I've been so excited about it over these years, getting fish, all of it.

I wish I had a better life and wasn't FUCKING CRIPPLED by my mental issues.

if I keep talking its just going to be about suicide so I'm going to go try and distract myself. Fuck I hate emotions and crying. Just please I need life to be alright

Ngl while my breasts are really small they do have a nice shape.

misgendering

it's like wild that my mom can somehow manage to use the wrong pronoun when it's just me and her talking. it's only the two of us and you're talking directly at me you like don't even have to use a third-person pronoun or gendered language here at all how are you fucking this up let alone after two years

Silly comic I found (might cause voice dysphoria):

spoiler

Peanutbutter in name

Didn't make a peanut butter thread

I feel so lighter, there doesn't seem to be any bigger monsters (except society) on the horizon.

Oof forgot about the unmedicated ADHD

CW reddit transphobia debate bros

I dipped back into reddit recently with some of the Australian trans stuff and it was a bad idea for my mental health, I've logged myself out on all my screens.

But it's fascinating how poorly convincing the trolls were. I'd say something like "oh are you a woman?" or "this is why women are afraid of YOU", and I got like 5 or 6 replies, saying "oh I actually am a woman", and by the time I'd get to them they'd already have deleted as if they knew even with hidden comments it wouldn't bare up under mod or admin scrutiny.

And another time I said I'd spent a lot of time reflecting on my lesbian identity. And someone said "Lesbians don't have to reflect on their identity, they are just women who are attracted to women" and I was like "honey you've never met a lesbian in your life? They're all reflecting on their lesbian identities, as ex-straight or bisexual or late in life or whatever"

I need fantasy books that go all out on magic technology.

Like why are mfs fighting with swords and staffs? Where's my drone swarms? Magic artillery/ICMBs? Assassinations by telephoning poison into your enemy's wine? Automated magic artifact production factories?

Why is a world with magic got miners using pickaxes? Where's my magic smart tablets inscribed with speed casting runes? What about huge alchemical processing facilities that pump gigatonnes of philosopher's stone fluid into the wizard economy?

I know there's probably some books like that (I've even read one but won't recomend the series cause it got wierd in that horny middle aged Japanese writer way if you know what I mean).

i'm still waiting to reach the level of veganism where i can subsist solely off of photosynthesis. currently im still in the rock and stone munching level

transitioning (heh) my monthly plushy budget to a monthly knife budget. I have way too many plushies at this point,,,

,,, I have way too many knives, too, but they're like easier to store so whatever

r*ddit

spoiler voice dysphoria, suicide Reddits automod is so dogshit. Banned me for saying voice dysphoria and hrt not helping it makes me want to kill myself. FOR THREATS OF VIOLENCE. What the fuck? How am I threatening violence, and not just passively complaining about how shit voice stuff is? But no apparently I'm fucking banned. But people can advocate for our social murder all day long. And honestly reddit might be one of the less shit social medias. Scroll through fucking Instagram or X the everything app. :::