Little afraid he's gonna show up to work with a gun now and shoot me but honestly dying to make a headline like "Ex-Con shoots coworker for calling Trump's operation in Iran 'Epstein Fury'" would be a pretty epic way to go.
Unfortunately, we both know the headline would actually be: "Heartwarming: U.S. military recruit saves the day as suspected Iranian terrorist dies during work dispute"
Eh, the Lib media loves stories of MAGA dorks doing unhinged shit.
My people will clean this filth off of the face of the planet.
If we see a news story about a chud killing a coworker and then you're mysteriously gone, we will make sure the world knows that you called it Operation Epstein Fury. Because that deserves posthumous recognition.
Also let them know I was gay and have a small dick! My name was Adam Friedland!
Oh we'll turn the whole thing into a cumtown bit if that is your will
If my legacy is a Saul clip then I will happily die a martyr to the cause!
As someone who's a recovering alcoholic, I can safely say there's two types in the recovery spehere: chuds and some of the nicest people you'd ever meet, no inbetween!
To put on my tinfoil theory hat for a moment, I think this is because the same material conditions that make alcoholics also make CHUDS and leftists: poor material conditions. Alcoholism is a very proletarian addiction.
Middle of the road liberals live too comfortably to get radicalized in either direction and also live too comfortably to hit the rock bottom required to get forced into recovery. And if a liberal's material conditions get bad enough, they either become a leftist or a CHUD.
Alcoholism is a very proletarian addiction.
What I say to my comrades when they express concern about how much beer I've been drinking.
Real
And you should hold on to those comrades
We all need eachother to get through this time of monsters
My comrades are named Modelo, Corona and Heineken
Alcoholism is a very proletarian addiction
Hillary lapsed into alcoholism after she lost. Kamala had persistent rumors about her being drunk, but I never watched her speak so I can't say. Usually with those you want to get another addict of that kind of drug because they can spot each other right away. I learned that on prison youtube when some got out and everyone went yay and then they went right back to what got them into prison in the first place.
Do the political classifications (CHUD, leftist) we're using for people that are petite bourgeois at most even apply to members of the USA ruling class?
Hillary and Kamala are both clearly class conscious bourgeois, right? They'd never end up in recovery alongside us proles, they get private treatment and never reach rock bottom.
This guy was also an alcoholic apparently. He loves recounting stories about how he'd down a bottle of Jack on the car ride from getting off work to the bar, and then order a bottle of Jack at the bar, and the pop painkiller in the bathroom.
I used to play D&D with a guy who had similar stories but he was just a big friendly bear who loved print making and cooking pasta (he was Italian).
I actually left a recovery group called "punks in recovery" cause I caught some of the members doing antisemitism in other groups we happened to run in, and all the mods were fucking cowards when I brought it up in public.
Anyways you should DM me about recovery stuff, thard be rad.
Some of the people I've met who were most hostile to people with addictions were people who'd recovered from addiction themselves.
Fuck it if i start a Hexbear recovery group, would anyone be interested in joining?
I'd join. I actually like AA, I think the steps are pretty good, but finding the right group is hard. I've only found 2 that I actually like. One of those groups has a separate group chat for the leftists to rant about politics because it does effect us, but we can't really bring it up in the main AA chat because it's against the principles
Yeah sure I'm in, I can't stand AA/ N/A, I've yet to try smart recovery tho
No amount of re-readings of Elites, Masses, and Rebels will ever make this level of loyalty make sense, even with the full context.
I think it makes sense. He wants to get money, respect, and maybe veteran's benefits and also wants to murder people who he's been told his whole life to hate. This, in his view, allows him to accomplish both. I don't think loyalty is a big factor in explaining it because I don't think he sees it as a huge risk to his life because America is much more used to terrorizing countries way less prepared for war than Iran.
To be fair, I just read he was addicted and while I never had to struggle with an addiction as well, I’ve been so disillusioned I miss the forest for the trees a lot.
But I agree, status is a very powerful currency even if not material. Not to say I support his decision, but in hindsight I can pinpoint how the national myth can endure when status can be achieved.
Especially when he's an ex-con who spent years in jail for a DUI and is a recovering coke-head. From that and the rest of the description he seems like someone who has a court order to stay away from his kids. A lot of people like that would see the saintly status granted to veterans and look at all the shame and stigma assigned to them by society and even assigned by themselves, and want to enlist to basically escape their current social conditions. It's a depraved move considering all the murder he's signing up for, but it's no wonder that doesn't bother him given the aforementioned "taught to hate these people" part.
court order to stay away from his kids.
From what I understand he has no kids. He does seem to have health problems though (despite appearing in decent health for his age). Apparently his kidneys nearly failed once due to mixing booze and painkillers (this guy is weirdly open about his ENTIRE fucking life, and he weirdly likes me despite me giving A LOT of signals that I'm way to his left (I think some of it is that I'm actually smart and do my job at this place unlike a lot of the bozos we work with)). So yeah maybe free healthcare is a draw.
We’re all okay with punching down on people with substance abuse issues and talking shit about incarcerated people now?
If you had written your title “my coworker applied to join the military because they raised the enlistment age and he wants to ‘fight Iran’” that woulda been fine.
Instead, you chose to include a bunch of stuff from his personal life and also call him an ex-con all in an attempt to make people see this person as more than just a dipshit, but subhuman, by virtue of his substance abuse issues.
Honestly I’m fucking disappointed in all of the commenters who probably talk a lot shit about class consciousness but can’t be bothered to call your ass out for using the tools and language of the state/oppressors to… make you look cool…? To a bunch of strangers on the internet?
Come on y’all we’re better than this.
Come on, a DUI is a totally different deal than a "substance abuse issue." This guy didn't get put away for drug possession, he did for getting wasted and driving a car. And prison time usually means multiple offenses or that someone was injured/killed. Combined with the fact that he's choosing to enlist now, for the joy of killing Iranians and defending Israel, and I really doubt he's secretly a good guy that OP is slandering for no reason.
yeah i have no sympathy for a multiple dui guy. it's hard to get convicted of anything as a driver as it is and I have too many dead friends because of drunk drivers.
addiction isn't an excuse for getting behind the wheel repeatedly
If that’s really what the majority of hexbears and leftists as a whole believe then there truly is no hope for this world. If yall can’t be bothered to perform even the barest minimum of material analysis for an alcoholic because it serves your ends, in what other ways can I expect yall to fall supremely short?
I say this as someone who has been incarcerated multiple times, and has now been sober for nearly twenty years and as someone whose partner has been incarcerated multiple times — for DWIs — and who has also been sober for nearly twenty years. Both of us extremely proletariat.
I say this as a person who has given literally decades of their life working and organizing with young people, the “underserved”, the “hard cases”, the addicted — many went on to be murderers,removeds, while many are supremely beautiful people living meaningful “productive” lives under capitalism. Proletariat, all of them.
I say this as someone who has been to too many funerals to count. I’ve lost so many friends and family to one addiction or another — I went to probably more than ten funerals before finishing high school. I suppose they deserved it, then? Proletariat, every one.
Have you ever seen a dead body? You ever watched the life leave the body of someone you love as they overdose? You ever given cpr to someone you love while crying your eyes out screaming for them to wake up? You ever had to choose between calling 911 and letting your friend die because you’ve got so much shit on you you’ll go to prison — or worse: get dopesick and detox in county — if the cops come? Have you ever watched someone kill themselves? You ever seen your brother drunk and happy one moment and literally a pile of brains and blood splatter on the wall the next? You ever picked your brothers skull fragments out of drywall? Have you seen someone so down bad that they’ve shot Canadian mist into open sores on their fucking nutsack, or filtered dope through used cigarette butts picked off the street? I suppose each of us deserved it too.
Until you’ve lived my fucking life or the life of any of us criminals shut the fuck up, exercise some compassion, and read a goddam book.
You ever seen your brother drunk and happy one moment and literally a pile of brains and blood splatter on the wall the next? You ever picked your brothers skull fragments out of drywall?
Why the fuck are you defending DUIs then???
Def a lot of unnecessary punching down in this title. "Trashy tattoos" ...hope OP means some chud adjacent shit, not body art they don't vibe with.
the hegseth comparison leans me toward chud shit, but other parts of the framing make me doubt.
Neat. Hope he dies.
Thank you for your service to humanity and comedy 
Fuck him and fuck his "service" 
trash bout to take itself out
What a goober... honestly this is the best thing that could happen to guys like that.
dying to make a headline like "Ex-Con shoots coworker for calling Trump's operation in Iran 'Epstein Fury'"
This would be such a funny way to go out.
Missed an opportunity to befriend him and get him to share his geo-coordinates after his deployment
The last thing this guy will see is a literal wall of limestone before he gets fucking rained with bullets
My boomer coworker suggested carpet bombing Iran
I had one switch from humanitarian concerns about their government as a justification to "fuck 'em" within like 2 minutes
Feed him to the shaheds.
If you get got from this, I will personally make a documentary about you that paints you as a national hero.
He can suit himself in hell then, if he'd like. Iran he goes!
Tell him to join the airborne.
I thought they didn't take people with convictions. I guess he'll have a chance if they're already scraping the bottom of the barrel. During Vietnam SecDef McNamara lowered the standard for intelligence and scraped West Virginia dry of hillbillies. If it's any consolation these people with poor judgment usually meet a bad end in combat.
If they barred people with DUI convictions, Hegseth would be out of a job
Lmao die motherfucker
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