this post was submitted on 08 Nov 2023
138 points (100.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

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[–] [email protected] 82 points 11 months ago (5 children)

Place your bets:

A.) Intra-police-gang conflict.

B.) A hilarious training accident.

C.) They knew too much.

D.) They all saw a bag of fentanyl, inducing psychosomatic asphyxiation.

E.) He's back...

spoiler

[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago

PUNISHED DORNER

[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago

There's gotta be some corruption or serious misconduct charges that were being laid against these officers.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Dorner was a warrior, from the land of the burning sun.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

I think this is a song reference, to Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner, in case anyone cared.

The first line is something like:

Roland was a warrior, from the land of the midnight sun

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

they got Pontypool'd by the word "fentanyl"

[–] [email protected] 47 points 11 months ago (2 children)

A source close to the investigation indicated the deaths are believed to be unrelated.

people call these fuckers for wellness checks and to solve crimes 🙃

[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago

A source close to the investigation indicated the deaths are believed to be unrelated.

hasan-ok-dude

[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago (2 children)

we should call more wellness checks on the pigs

[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago

dorner knock knock Hiya Officer McGrady, we got some complaints about the smell of bacon?

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 11 months ago (2 children)

This is the sheriff's department with the internal gangs, right? Yeah, totally suicides.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

We totally investigated this, no need to look into this any further.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Ah, yes, just 4 unrelated suicides all by (former) coworkers on the same day.

Must have just been Suicide Vibes Day again.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (2 children)

It's not completely implausible. The LASP has I think 30,000k henchmen, and Cops have a high suicide rate.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

4 in a month, I'd believe it. 4 in a week, a bit strange.

4 on the same day and it's LASD? I highly doubt it's a coincidence.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Valid. It's just as likely it's some kind of fucky gang execution.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Is LASD not included in the fucky gang category? Haha

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

In this specific case the LASD has numerous gangs operating within the corps of LASD deputies. So a distinction needs to be made between the LASD as a whole and the smaller groups within it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

Oh, true, true. I meant it as the smaller gangs in LASD but you're right.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (2 children)

No. It's not plausible at all. It's incredibly not plausible. There's around 700,000 police in the US and on average one cop out of the entire country kills themselves every three days.

To say that three or four cops/sheriff's from the same department unrelatedly all killed themselves on the same day is not plausible at all. They just hit their entire states yearly average in a single day. Only a dumbass would think "its plausible", or even possible, and the only way around that would be if they all knew each other and had planned this all out.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

Only a dumbass would think "its plausible"

Kind of unnecessarily rude. It is statistically possible for this type of thing to happen, even if a more sinister and non-random reason seems very, very likely.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

are you disagreeing? not sure how to read this

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 37 points 11 months ago

It's incredible that they all shot themselves in the back of the head with the same gun, worst case of suicide I've ever seen

[–] [email protected] 36 points 11 months ago

Alternate title: LA sheriff dept announces four new good cops

[–] [email protected] 35 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago

Reminds me of the underage sex trafficking-related officer suicide that happened a few years back in Oakland

[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago

there's easier ways to stop being a cop, but who am i to judge

[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago

Found dead in his closet, having asphyxiated after shooting himself six times in the back of the head.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago

Killed themselves with a shot to the head while in a burning car?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Some BODIES are having a case of the Mondays.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

Not my problem

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Place your bets now:

  • they found the CP vault
  • the cops reported abuses to internal affairs
[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This is why I say the only good cop is a dead cop

It is simply a factual statement

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

To elaborate:

if there ever was a good cop, they are dead

if any given cop is dead, this is always good

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Perhaps there are spirits in the air.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

When you try to become the fictional good cop so your colleagues turn you into the real version

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago