Absolutely. Anyone willing to treat a stranger this way is unequivocally a shitbag.

She will die alone, whether she is married or not.

"Sorry, from across the bar I couldn't see how ugly your personality was. It all makes sense now."

Great comment, cold approaching in any situation can be intimidating but at the end of the day the worst that can happen is they say "no". And then you can go home and get high or drunk or whatever and not care. Each rejection hurts a little less each time.

This is definitely one of those 'creepy if ugly' moments. If he was a handsome guy, it would be romantic and has almost definitely happened in a million Hallmark movies.

What makes you think that the girl is even real?

Um, this is the point of going on a date? To get to know someone new? She shouldn't need anything else to go on until after they've spent some time getting to know each other? A first date is not a lifetime commitment.

How else do you get a date with someone, if not by asking them?

Nah.

Rude?

On the guy's part?

No, not at all.

Done pretty clumsily, awkwardly?

Sure.

But, assuming OP actually said what they said they said, that's not impolite, that's not rude.

Its not insulting.

It makes literally no difference at all that the guy was sitting in the bar listening to her talk to her friends for 3 hours before he worked up the nerve to attempt to ask her out.

What if he had... just walked in and did this?

Or... been at the table nearby for 30 minutes?

Or was playing Pool for an hour near the table?

None of those things factors in to how rude or not his actions toward her were.

Also... what world are you living in where talking to someone you haven't previously met, in a bar, is a social faux pas?

The... whole point of going to a place with a bunch of people drinking is to be at a place with a bunch of people drinking.

I met new people at bars all the time back in my college days, made a lot of friends that way, sometimes a bit more than friends.

This is like, how society worked for at least a hundred years, basically before the invention of TikTok/Instagram.

I am honestly baffled by your stance here.

This isn't a sit down restaurant.

Its a bar. A pub.

Like sure, barging into an ongoing conversation and inserting yourself into it does require some tact, skill, and ability to just bounce off if its clear your presence is not appreciated.

But her level of cruelty was far, far more rude than anything this socially anxious guy did.

I was the guy who apparently was in your 8 to 10 range, as I'd do basically this, though a bit more smoothly, and fairly often it would work.

Sometimes you get a soft, polite no, and that's totally fine.

Sometimes, you get a hard no, a vicious no, like this one.

And that stings.

This guy, OP? His entire world is hard nos, every time he tries.

He is literally despairing over this, and you call him rude.

This is the kind of mindset that you have, that led to the proliferation of the saying and concept 'Bros before Hoes'.

That doesn't mean all women are hoes.

It means guys with pretty privilege wingman for their bros without it, and help their bros recover from brutal rejections like this one.

Honestly, I've even wingmanned for socially awkward gals too, work them into a conversation I'm already having with some guy they've told me they very much fancy, but are too scared to even approach.

Talking to a stranger is extremely rude?

How are you supposed to find a partner if you're not allowed to talk to strangers?

I misread that as aromatic and was quite confused.

Yeah. It turns out a bunch of tech obsessed nerds aren't the most socially well adjusted.

Reddit is even better than this.

What if I DM you in perfect English?