700
Worst spy ever (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
top 30 comments
sorted by: hot top new old
[-] [email protected] 97 points 1 month ago

I shit you not, this has gotten me out of trouble dozens of times. Any time I get pulled over I pull out the "golly jeez" and "oh dang" and proceed to talk the cop's ear off about the fine minutia of my incredibly boring day.

Once got pulled over in a tiny town at 3am in a boaty cadillac with a dope sticker on the back windshield. Watched the cop go from "drug bust of the century" to "please don't let anyone see me here" in about 4min. Literally watched the man's will to live leave his body when I started taking about d&d.

[-] [email protected] 62 points 1 month ago

Are you an energy vampire?

[-] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

Like "What we do in the shadows" series? That's exactly who I thought of too.

[-] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago

Literally watched the man’s will to live leave his body when I started taking about d&d.

He's probably old school and plays or 3rd edition rules. He just couldn't stand hearing you blaspheme his game.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

If it ain't got THAC0, it ain't D&D.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Nah, I played both 2.0 and 2.5. Gygax was just a math and numbers geek who tried to gatekeep with over complication.

4.0 is NOT D&D. 1.0 barely qualifies as D&D.

2.0, 2.5, 3.0, 3.5, and 5.0 all have their upsides and downsides.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Dont talk to cops, unless you can make it a kind of torture?

[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago
[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

Spend a year working in a retirement home. Then mirror that energy and just commit wholly to the bit.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Yeah idk what it is about them, but old people love to ramble on about anything and everything. I kind of like it honestly, I can just listen to their infodumping and occasionally say short sentences and phrases and they keep the entire conversation going for me.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Literally watched the man's will to live leave his body when I started taking about d&d.

WHAT THE FUCK I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO DID THIS LMAO

[-] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I read this all through the voice of Sterling Archer. Highly recommend

[-] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago

Honestly, a lot of things are improved by H. John Benjamin's voice lol

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago
[-] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago

This is basically just a set of scenes that I would fully believe took place in Archer if I hadn't seen this post.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Hahaha holy shit I thought the same exact thing. I need to rewatch those soon. Been a few years. Are they making them still?

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Abruptly cancelled at the end of season 14, talks of a revival are happening but tbd

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Man I stopped watching during season 5(?), whatever the Miami vice season was. maybe I should give it a try again.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

It has its ups and downs. I actually enjoyed the Miami vice season and the 2 after, though they're admittedly weaker. Then there's 3 .. odd seasons. Once that concludes it basically goes back to normal and is worth watching. Not nearly as strong as before but it's still pretty funny

[-] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Lol I thought that's where I was

[-] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago

[off topic]

I can't remember the author or title of the story.

Napoleon wants to give his enemies false information, so he picks a courier who looks bold and dashing, but has a reputation for being a complete fuck up.

The idiot manages to fumble his way past a dozen patrols and deliver the orders.

Exactly what they didn't want.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

Tbh, I read that there were multiple Stasi Agents faking exactly that type of personality. If you can't keep a secret besides that one important secret... Everyone will think you can't keep a secret. ... which means you couldn't be a spy.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

this.... seems like ADHD.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Vibes based spying

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Chunk: And this I've time, I mixed up a batch of fake barf, snuck up to the balcony at the theater, and made a noise like "huuuuh, huuuuh" and dumped it over the side.

Fratelli: I think I'm beginning to like this kid, ma.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Me, an empath: Uh huh. Uhhuh. puts a keyboard down in front of them so they unconsciously input their password while telling me about Severance

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

New bames john movie

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

I feel attacked.

this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2025
700 points (99.0% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

33686 readers
3553 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS