this post was submitted on 16 May 2025
103 points (94.8% liked)

No Stupid Questions

40697 readers
1253 users here now

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That's it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.



Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.



Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here. This includes using AI responses and summaries.



Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 hours ago

labels are useless last a certain point. you're you and that's all that matters.

if you absolutely need to pick a label (for a doctor's form or whatever) bi would be what I would choose since what they're really asking there is what genders do you sleep with.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 hours ago

There's also 'neptunic', which sounds like what you're describing, plus attraction to androgyny.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

I wish people didn't hyperfixate on labels so much these days. I feel like it causes more problems than it solves in terms of creating an identity someone needs to stick to instead of letting people just be themselves.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 hours ago

Agreed, fuck who you like and who wants to fuck you, why must something as complex and messy as your slice of humanity be categorized?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 12 hours ago

Agreed.

The desire to subdivide ourselves appears to have been very beneficial to the ruling class in many ways.

[–] [email protected] 93 points 16 hours ago (3 children)

You're bi and you have a type.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 hours ago

I love this answer. It's perfect.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 hours ago (4 children)

idk I don't wanna call myself bi cause I'm not into most men I've ever met, I don't wanna mislead people

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 hours ago

The thing about labels is that their usage depends on the particular context at time of use. I have a friend who is non binary, for example, but finds herself weary of explaining how someone can be femme presenting, use she/her pronouns, and be non binary. This means that when talking to people who aren't LGBTQ, she finds "lesbian" is the most effective label to communicate, even though it's a label she has largely outgrown the truth of. For some people, how they engage with identity labels is quite straightforward, and they present the same labels out to the entire world. For other people, more nuance is needed, and that's okay too.

That is to say that if you read the above comment and thought "bi but with a type sounds like me, but I don't want to call myself bi", that's fine. Labels like "bi" can help make oneself be more legible to the world at large, but you do not owe the world that. You are allowed to have complexity that doesn't neatly fit into simple labels, and even if you did strongly identify with a label, you're not obligated to divulge this freely.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 hours ago

Neither are more gay men and straight women.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 12 hours ago

Sapphic, perhaps.

[–] HobbitFoot 95 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Probably bisexual, but you've got a type.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 17 hours ago

Yeah. Let’s not overcomplicate it. They’re bi with a preference for femininity.

[–] [email protected] 70 points 19 hours ago

You're horny.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 16 hours ago

I’d say I generally lean the same way, and I consider myself bi.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

If you're looking for a technical term, you would fall under gynosexual. But even with the term: only you can truly define your own sexuality.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 hours ago

Yeah gynosexual or gynephilic is how I describe myself

[–] [email protected] 27 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

I think trying to define it is fairly pointless. We love what we love and we lust what we lust. Rather than defining it, I wish we could all just accept that and stop hating people for having different preferences.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 hours ago

Yep. We don't give names for people who like red and their second favourite colour is yellow.

Just be yourself, be kind to others and move on.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Yep, but sometimes you want to communicate about your preferences, and then you need understandable terminology. Giving names to phenomena is generally useful. Discussing things is useful. Understanding natural diversity is great and important.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Fair point but I'm not sure that naming every permutation is possible. We might be better off trying to make do with charts or something.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 20 hours ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

That feels cursed as a fandom dot com wiki

[–] [email protected] 2 points 13 hours ago

Yeah, lgbt being a fandom sounds super phobic. Just looked up gynesexual on a search engine and copied the first link that had a definition.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

This was the term I've heard, but damn does it sound terfy...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 hours ago

probably because it sounds close to gynophilia

[–] [email protected] 4 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Depending on your gender you're heteroflexible or homoflexible

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago

which are 2 types of bi

[–] [email protected] 19 points 20 hours ago

Fucked if I know the new terms but for my entire 20+ years of sexually active life, you would be classified as bi. But like I said or implied, Im old as fuck and have no clue what the currently accepted term may be. If I need to know the new sexuality/gender terms then im fucking a woman who is way too young than I should be fucking with. Thats a statement of the types of people who live in my area and not a blanket statement that no older individuals use current sexuality identities.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

From Fetlife's Kinktionary:

Finsexual: Usually refers to a person who is attracted to femininity regardless of a person’s gender identity. Is sometimes considered more inclusive than Gynesexual (as the prefix "gyne" focuses on female anatomy).

[–] [email protected] 13 points 20 hours ago (14 children)
load more comments (14 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (6 children)

Labels exist to describe what is. You don't need to fit neatly into a category. You like who you like, and you shouldn't apologize for it.

Like for me, I'm attracted to the late Andre Braugher portraying the gay man Captain Holt on Brooklyn 99 when he's pretending to be straight and describing his fictitious partner's heavy breasts. Nothing sexier than that, but the brain trust at Oxford hasn't come up with a word for that one yet.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Oh fuck you! I was not prepared to learn one of my favorite sitcom characters is dead. Fuck me, now I gotta Google how he passed.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 14 hours ago

My condolences. He died too soon.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 19 hours ago

Bi but with a type?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 17 hours ago

I'm assuming you're male? If so, this sounds like an exact description of my sexuality. If someone really wants specifics, I usually just say "I like femmes/femininity" or "I'm not into mascs." But 99% of the time I just say I'm straight. Seems accurate enough to me

load more comments
view more: next ›