this post was submitted on 06 May 2025
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 77 points 1 week ago

+3 to hit vs. Popes, Cardinals, and Bishops. On hit, Popes who are alive but playing dead must save vs. Fortitude or die.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 week ago (3 children)

It's a silver hammer, so it could also check if the Pope is a werewolf.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Can't let that happen again.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 week ago

The events inspired the band Powerwolf.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Bang bang Vatican's gilded hammer came down on his head
do do dooo do
Bang bang Vatican's gilded hammer made sure that he was dead
whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago

The hammer is actually a 100lb two handed weapon

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago (2 children)

my favourite fact is that “factoid” doesn’t mean “little fact” but is actually starting to mean that

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

What does it actually mean?

Edit: Nevermind, @jerkface already answered.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 week ago

Hit him once. If he is silent, hit him again. If he is silent again, hit him again. If he remains silent, he is dead.

Hit him once. If he shouts, you've got two more swings to make him stop.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

D'oh, it should say "another target Cleric" to avoid confusion.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So it's correctly labeled as a factoid then

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The -oid suffix is used to describe something that appears like something else, but is not that thing. An asteroid is something that looks like a star, but isn't. A factoid is something that looks like a fact, but isn't.

I used to introduce my common-law partner as my "wifeoid." She hated that but sometimes it is okay to put your own pleasure first.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

it's uncomfortably close to "femoid"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

It was a different time.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A droid looks like a Dr. but isn't? Am I getting this right?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Comes from Android. Like a human but isn’t.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Is it to make sure, or is it to make sure?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

They should abstain from the hammer this time round. Zombie pope is the 2025 twist no-one would see coming.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

What about the holy hand grenade?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

First shalt thou take out the Holy Hammer. Then, shalt thou strike three times, no more, no less.

Three shalt be the number thou shalt strike, and the number of the striking shall be three. Four shalt thou not strike, nor either strike thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, thy pope shall snuff it.

[–] bradinutah 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Gotta love The Book of Armaments.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

"One" hit

"Two" hit Pope: "Ouch!"

...

...

"What do we do now?" "Just hit harder, it's a self-solving problem"

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I bought one of those at Harbor Freight for like ¼ the price the Vatican probably paid.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Yeah but it breaks after hitting 2 popes

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

that's still a good 40-50 years of use!

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (5 children)

I have one of these on my coffee table that’s decoration. Found it just laying in some room when I visited the Vatican in the 90s. Weird.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

It gives +5 to-hit and damage, +2d6 holy damage, +5 to carpentry skill, and can only be equipped by Catholics. It deals double damage to lycanthropes.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Well you have to be sure. I wonder where they keep the Pope hammer in between deaths

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Maybe the pope gets a bonk every day to ensure that he is, in fact, still alive?

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

The ancient custom of throwing the body into the Tiber river is too unrefined for these modern times

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"I fear the Pope has died!"

"You can't say things like that! You have to be sure!"

*wham-"Ack!!" wham wham

"OK, I'm sure the pope is dead."

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I prefer the Holy Ball-Peen.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

+5 damage and THAC0 against undead (Pope)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

you know it's an ancient artifact when it uses THAC0

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

Clearly an anti zombie tool. Can't have the pope rising from the dead, it'd mess up the church's image.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

The papal tappy taps

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Which side do they hit him with?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (4 children)
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

The silver hammer of Saint Maxwell.

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