this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2024
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 95 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

Thank you for posting this. I was gonna try and paraphrase it because what is being said is so spot on to this sentiment.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

If I had a felony conviction I'd be applying everywhere answering the phone like, "oh right, you can be president but not manager of a dave and busters."

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Sorry, but you need 33 more convictions to qualify for that position.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

No problem, coming right up, first one is intimidation for threatening to stick my foot up your bum.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

Sorry, I refused to file charges because I ain't no snitch. It would have been reduced to a misdemeanor anyways. You're going to need to try harder.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Unfortunately for you, that's called "menace" and its merely a misdemeanor.
You'll need to do more than this to get a proper conviction-- aggravating the charge by involving a weapon or minors might be a good option for your goals. You need to be much more creative with your criminality if you ever want to enter the gentry class. Consider white collar crime, or creating jobs by hiring some minions. Now that trump is in office, it will be a particularly attractive time to venture into federal crimes, or crimes that cross state or national boundaries.

(/s)

[–] [email protected] 37 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

You can be incompetent and get any job, but you have to be willing to be an asshole and remove your backbone.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

Of course there is a catch

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

And have very rich parents

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

“Brought to you by Carl’s Jr.”

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Come on, thats an unfair conparison.

President Camacho actually wanted to fix things.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Yea, I mean, he apparently even traveled back in time to try to save cheese for future generations. But I'm afraid that was a futile attempt, because the US citizens have nevertheless set the course that will lead us to the timeline where there is no more cheese.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

And listened to people smarter than him.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

"Fuck you! I'm eating"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

"I love you"

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

We are a profoundly stupid country. Even the intelligent, educated people are stupid, because they didn't think this could happen, and they have no idea how to fix it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

I like to think my belief that humanity has some decency meant there was no way it could possibly happen. Yet life is often stranger and dumber than fiction.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago

trump proved to me Anyone can be anything*

*with Rich parents or leech to guy with rich parents.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago

Qualified? Yes. Actually become? No

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

True american dream, no?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

If I drink enough bleach and lead, one day I could convince 60% of the country to put me in charge.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

Pretty sure most of us here would be overqualified, based on the apparent criteria.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

OK assuming it wasn't with this group of assholes, if you could add yourself as secretary of something, what would it be?

I'd be secretary of proper fantasy and fictious IP respect.

Proper fucking labeling when a story moves from one media to another.

TV shows like Wheel of Time can only say they are loosely based on the WoT books. I'm not saying every adaptation has to stay as true to its origin as the Sin City movie, but come one with some of these

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

IIRC, in the Jason Bourne books, the super-secret government cabal that trained him are the good guys.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

Hrrrmmm. OK I'm not familiar with the OG Jason Bourne material. But your complaint is registered and you may be called upon to testify. It can take 5 years to 9 lifetimes before I read the things.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

I won Time's Person of the Year in 2006. I have no worries about imposter syndrome. I've already been validated.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Does that mean I'm allowed to vent and ignore visual tasks?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

among us?!?