this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2024
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 57 minutes ago

The Swedish radio show "Christer" called up the ambassador of Romania somewhere around 2014 (IIRC) to pop the question, and he confirmed the teeth were like straws.

So there's that!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 minutes ago

In the vampire documentary "Dead and loving it" distinct straw-slurping sounds can be heard so I think this is indeed correct.

However when I was a kid I totally thought vampire bats also do the sucky-sucky not the licky-licky they actually do.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 59 minutes ago (1 children)

I think there's been a shift in media here over the years. Older vampires, the formalwear "I vant to suck your blaaaad" types, often have very long teeth and leave only a couple of punctures after biting someone. It's pretty reasonable to assume these are actually drawing the blood through their teeth like little syringes.

Then as time goes on, vampires have gotten grittier and gorier. We've gone from beautiful damsels with tiny pinpricks on their necks, to staight up cannibalism. Vampires now just fuckin eat people sometimes. Somewhere in between, we did get a phase of vampires biting open the neck with a big gush of blood, and the now classic image of a vampire with blood all over their lower face. At this point it's clear they're just drinking it normally.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 minutes ago

That line from my name is Earl has also stuck with me for all the years. You are not alone!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

What made them change their mind? Pretty sure that’s always been part of the implication lol.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 hour ago

Isn't that how they insert the paralytic venom?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 26 minutes ago

The opposite of that is kinda how I thought tattoo machines worked as a kid- as in with hollow needles and an ink cartridge, like fountain pens, and each poke into the skin would deposit ink that way. I even 'figured out' that the tiny vacuum from pulling the needle out would be what pulled the ink down into the skin.

When I found out how tattoo machines actually worked, it seemed so messy (and loud!).

[–] [email protected] 112 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

Never questioned this until about 15 seconds ago…

[–] [email protected] 39 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

They're fictional, so I guess they work however the writer wants them to.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

I want them to work in a warehouse. I smell A sitcom!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 hours ago

Once wrote a series of short stories about fantasy creatures living and working in a warehouse. My favorite were the weekending ghosts, who haunted a manor through the week, but took weekend trips to haunt the warehouse on Saturdays and Sundays to get a break from it all.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I was hoping for this and was not disappointed

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

It took a while to load on my phone and the longer it took the bigger my hope and smile. Big relentless reward now.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 4 hours ago

Unless they’re referring to the bat, who’s to say otherwise? The lore police?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (2 children)

When I was in middle school and first learned about gay men I thought one penis would have to open up somehow to accept the other penis as what I now know would be called sounding. Also knowing what I know now that would be pretty extreme even for sounding but I was a preteen fundie and had gotten all my sex ed from an anatomy and physiology book in the family library with 0 direction from any adult so in the absence of any better ideas that seemed like the most likely way that would work out. Anyway this is a great example of why puritans wind up so kinky; you have no idea what normal sex looks like so you just have to imagine it and sometimes the imagination comes up with some really weird shit and before you know it you're having preteen wet dreams about stuff the human body doesn't even do.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 hour ago

I was like 9 before they told me procreation didn’t involve a woman’s belly button.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I think you might be confusing docking with sounding

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Docking is foreskin play, inserting something into the urethra would be a type of sounding.

But if you can sound with an entire human cock, you're doing something pretty extreme shit

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

I'm deeply enjoying this polite and intellectual discourse re: is this physically impossible act I imagined at 14 years old docking or sounding. Please continue this and all your other weird sexual internet discourse with the same level of polite fervor. :)

[–] [email protected] 49 points 5 hours ago

They definitely do, as that was my thought too

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago

I thought that exact same thing about snakes.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 hours ago

Mosquito straw > Scrape and Lick

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 hours ago

And here I thought "Dracula - dead and loving it" cleared up that topic. Of course they're hollow.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

Everybody knows vampires don’t suck, they scrape and lick!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago

The three-shell method

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 hours ago

That seems inefficient

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 hours ago

I also thought this.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 hours ago

That's why they make that empty hollow carton sound when they finish sucking all the blood out.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 hours ago