this post was submitted on 20 Oct 2024
385 points (98.5% liked)

Dad Jokes

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No one knows the cure.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh no you're already affected!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

No! There's no way, Mister! Mister Smith at the clinic promised me that my inoculations were all up to date!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

I'm afraid it's too late now, you're in such dire straits. Let go those tears for fears. We'd better go ask the talking heads for advice.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

I'm taking this with a pinch of Salt And Peppa.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

I looked them up. They are still an active band!

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Are you sure it's a virus and not Poison?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Either way, you're in for quite the Journey

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm calling the The Police!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

It's time to be heading out to the highway, I see.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

It might be all night (but it'll be alright).

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

It could be Anthrax.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

At least it gives me something to believe in.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

There is always something there to remind me

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

That happened to me! Hopefully it doesn't get U2!

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

The virus only gets ya, if you party INXS

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Yeah. For your immune system to be so compromised you need to drink a magnum at least.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

One more pun and I'm calling The Police.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Do that and I’m fleeing to Europe

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sounds good I will go to Asia

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Screw that, Boston's where it's at.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I don't think we're in Kansas anymore

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Well it definitely isn't Chicago

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Why is everyone in such a Rush to leave?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

The Countdown's begun.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

You have to know when enuff z'nuff.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Yeah, it's quite the Poison to experience.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 day ago

My exotic cat caught the feline version and it got in his ear.

Now he's a Def Leppard

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

When it happened to me I was so scared I cried. I went to see my therapist, who told me I was shedding tears for fears.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

make me want to cry, Cryyy [higher pitch], CRRRYYYYYYYY [very high pitch] !!!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 19 hours ago

the Creme de la creme.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago

The virus seriously weakens cellular membranes, causing Soft Cell. SC leads to a breakdown of your dopamine and oxytocin receptors which leaves you with a feeling of tainted love.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago

In this new wave of memes, people tend to confuse music genres. We should call the police on them.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

Oh no! I may have this too. I'm going to Rush to my doctor.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Dio know if there's anything he can do?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

Yeah. Just go to the Dokken he'll fix you right up.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And you'll learn that you're only immortal for a limited time

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Forever Young

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

It's sad, all this interesting music, you can KISS goodbye.

Edit: You could say this virus will Poison the mind.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

I've heard it can also have gastrointestinal effects. I got it a few weeks ago and it really made me Wang Chung.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Looks like the super spreader event was a rock concert at the Guggenheim. People are now blaming The Art of Noise.