Post text, images, or direct links only (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 years ago by loopy@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

5 comments fedilink

Please see the updated sidebar. Do not post external links to websites such as Facebook and Instagram.

124

Please post jokes about adult topics to the new Uncle Jokes community (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by loopy@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

9 comments fedilink

Update 2025-9-11: If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old and they would understand, you should probably post it to the this community: !unclejokes@lemmy.world. Please message me if you think it could be different.

Liars! (thelemmy.club)

submitted 2 hours ago by Hatshepsut@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

1 comments fedilink

cross-posted from: https://reddthat.com/post/66701198

What was the Hitman’s preferred type of restaurants ? (lemmy.world)

submitted 12 hours ago by 64bithero@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

2 comments fedilink

Take out …

152

I met a genie who offered me one wish. I said, “I wish I could be you.” (lemmy.world)

submitted 14 hours ago by RegularJoe@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

8 comments fedilink

The genie replied, “Weurd wush… but U wull grant ut.”

I'm giving up on geometry jokes for now... (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 days ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

9 comments fedilink

I'll circle back later

239

I saw you at the museum yesterday. (thelemmy.club)

submitted 3 days ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

126

My boss told me I'm the worst train driver he's ever seen. He asked me "how many trains have I derailed so far?". I told him.... (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 days ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

4 comments fedilink

"It's hard to keep track! "

Pen and paper games like cross words are fun (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 days ago by 64bithero@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

1 comments fedilink

But connect the dots is where I draw the line.

460

Ran out of time (thelemmy.club)

submitted 4 days ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

3 comments fedilink

162

Kitchen emergency (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 days ago by Hatshepsut@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

2 comments fedilink

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/47453072

I'm considering to visit Fangorn forest during winter... (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 days ago by WereCat@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

2 comments fedilink

... it's enticing!

363

So tired (thelemmy.club)

submitted 4 days ago by zedgeist@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

6 comments fedilink

What does a chicken call its dad's new wife? (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by spicytuna62@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

10 comments fedilink

Stephen

I have to say I'm a big fan of podiums..... (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 days ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

4 comments fedilink

They're a product I can stand behind

Speakers of what language are most likely to talk with their mouths full? (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 days ago by qualia@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

Sign language

190

How long? (thelemmy.club)

submitted 5 days ago by FenrirIII@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

1 comments fedilink

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/47393990

Woman on ground: "How long will the ambulance be?"

Man aiding her: "Seventeen feet, six inches."

What type of dwelling do retired Marines live in? (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 days ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

2 comments fedilink

A tinnnnn hutttttt!

I married a half horse human 10 years ago. Every anniversary I tell them I love them (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 days ago by 64bithero@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

9 comments fedilink

And that they are the centaur of my universe…

I just finished a tough negotiation to buy a truck load of raw materials.... (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 days ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

1 comments fedilink

It was quite the ore-deal!

ALDI is the best place to buy a Humpty Dumpty action figure. (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 days ago by RegularJoe@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

It comes with ALDI king's horses and ALDI king's men.

Crabbing (thelemmy.club)

submitted 1 week ago by GraniteM@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

4 comments fedilink

Why do German cats live forever? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

14 comments fedilink

Because even when they have no lives left they still have nein!

What is Waluigis favorite quick stop place ? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by 64bithero@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

2 comments fedilink

Waah-Waaah !!!!!

171

Your vet won't tell you this, but if your dog is running a fever, apply some mustard. (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by RegularJoe@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

6 comments fedilink

It's the best thing for a hot dog.

Dad Jokes

23431 readers

246 users here now

Description

This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

Rules

Clean jokes only please. If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old and they can understand, you probably shouldn’t post it here. Please post edgier jokes to: !unclejokes@lemmy.world
Adult topics with which to be cautious or avoided: drugs, sex, death, racism.
Must post text, image (e.g., meme), or direct link. Do not post external links that cannot be viewed directly from the community (e.g., link to joke website, Facebook, Instagram, etc.)
Follow Lemmy.World Code of Conduct

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

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