Dad Jokes

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Description

This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

Rules

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
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Please see the updated sidebar. Do not post external links to websites such as Facebook and Instagram.

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I just updated the sidebar. As a rule of thumb, if you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old, you should probably post it to the new community [email protected]

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39
submitted 21 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 
 

That's why I only drink teas that are currant.

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I’m feeling cannelloni right now.

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An eh-hole.

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They have Loco Motives !

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Ash Ketchup

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Because they never do it on porpoise.

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At least I still have the memory of it.

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A desserter.

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Calvin: Hey Hobbes, want to see an antelope?

Hobbes: (Running, following Calvin) An antelope?!

Calvin: C'mon!

(Calvin and Hobbes arrive at an anthill, kneeling down next to it)

Calvin: See, she's coming down the ladder to her boyfriend's car!

(Hobbes sits, crossing his arms, looking annoyed)

Calvin: You're not laughing.

Hobbes: It's not funny.

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Vet: well that sounds like a ewe problem

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An impasta.

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It's his retire-mint plan.

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TRANSCRIPT:

Me: Is this birdcage made out of nickel?
Pet Store: Aluminum I think
Me: So there's no nickel in this cage?
Pet Store: Don't you dare!
Me: It's a nickleless cage
Pet Store: GET OUT!

[pictured is a long-haired Nicholas Cage, looking fabulous in the sun and wind. To his left, it's captioned with the text "Worth it"]

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I guess you could say I swapped Bob a loo mop and got Pam's broom.

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Can't they afford the real stuff?

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It's 5050.

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They'll always say booo

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Paleontologists.

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They're SO-DIMM

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