listing: all - local
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Post text, images, or direct links only (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 years ago by [M] to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
5 comments fedilink
 
 

Please see the updated sidebar. Do not post external links to websites such as Facebook and Instagram.

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Please post jokes about adult topics to the new Uncle Jokes community (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 years ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [M] to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
9 comments fedilink
 
 

Update 2025-9-11: If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old and they would understand, you should probably post it to the this community: !unclejokes@lemmy.world. Please message me if you think it could be different.

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The bic heavier (thelemmy.club)
submitted 1 hour ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
comment fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/67114829

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How long is this flight? (thelemmy.club)
submitted 1 hour ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
comment fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/52120593

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ENT s2e17 "Canamar"

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Maybe there'll be a meet up someday . . . 😊 (thelemmy.club)
submitted 13 hours ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
7 comments fedilink
 
 

📷 : credit for the photographer is posted on the image

Dad says . . . My friend was showing me his tool shed, and he pointed to a ladder - "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never met my real ladder."
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What weighs more? A gallon of water or a gallon of butane? (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
submitted 15 hours ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
29 comments fedilink
 
 

Water. Butane's a lighter fluid.

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Is buttcheeks one word? (lemmy.world)
submitted 16 hours ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
10 comments fedilink
 
 

Or should I spread them apart?

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I slept in during the weekend and now I have to drug myself to get to sleep. (lemmy.world)
submitted 13 hours ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
comment fedilink
 
 

I am melatoning for my sins.

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Where do sheep go on vacation? (lemmy.world)
submitted 14 hours ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
2 comments fedilink
 
 

The Baaa-hamas! 🐑

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Which cheese is made in reverse? (eviltoast.org)
submitted 1 day ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
6 comments fedilink
 
 

spoileredam

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A great fall .. (thelemmy.club)
submitted 1 day ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
10 comments fedilink
 
 
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My friend called and told me he failed a drug test... (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 day ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
8 comments fedilink
 
 

Funny guy, terrible pharmacist

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Why do dads always bring an extra pair of socks when they go golfing? (piefed.social)
submitted 1 day ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
comment fedilink
 
 

In case they get a hole in one.

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Silly Dad! 😁 (thelemmy.club)
submitted 1 day ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
4 comments fedilink
 
 

📷 : credit for the photographer is posted on the image

Dad Joke : Dad asks . . . What did the sink tell the toilet? Answer : You look flushed!
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A wizard death arrives exactly when it means to (thelemmy.club)
submitted 2 days ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
7 comments fedilink
 
 
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If I was the caller, I’d be pissed (thelemmy.club)
submitted 2 days ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
14 comments fedilink
 
 
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I can't decide if I want to be a hairdresser or an author. (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 days ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
comment fedilink
 
 

I'll flip a coin and it's heads or tales

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My friend who stutters a lot died in prison (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 days ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
4 comments fedilink
 
 

I guess you could say he didn’t finish his sentence.

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What do you give a man who has everything? (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 days ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
5 comments fedilink
 
 

Penicillin! 💉 💉

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Dance The Night Away! - Ewwww! 🤭 (thelemmy.club)
submitted 3 days ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
3 comments fedilink
 
 

📷 : credit for the photographer is posted on the image

Dad Joke : Dad asks . . . How do you make a Kleenex dance? Answer : Put a little boogie in it!
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Dad's Perfect Match! 😄 (thelemmy.club)
submitted 4 days ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
2 comments fedilink
 
 

📷 : credit for the photographer is posted on the image

Dad Joke : Dad says . . . "I had a quiet game of tennis today. There was no racket."
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Did you know that anteaters don't get sick? (lemmy.world)
submitted 4 days ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
1 comment fedilink
 
 

It's all the anty-bodies!

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What's going on with Ed Sheeran? (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 days ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
11 comments fedilink
 
 

I'm out of The Loop...

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What do you call a sugar that can write with both hands? (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 days ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
3 comments fedilink
 
 

Ambi-dextrose!

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Dad tells a joke . . . 🤭 (thelemmy.club)
submitted 5 days ago by to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
3 comments fedilink
 
 

📷 : credit for the photographer is posted on the image

Dad tells a joke : A man walked into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender said, "Does the animal talk?" And the parrot replied, "I don't know."
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