Post text, images, or direct links only (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 years ago by loopy@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

5 comments fedilink

Please see the updated sidebar. Do not post external links to websites such as Facebook and Instagram.

122

Please post jokes about adult topics to the new Uncle Jokes community (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by loopy@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

9 comments fedilink

Update 2025-9-11: If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old and they would understand, you should probably post it to the this community: !unclejokes@lemmy.world. Please message me if you think it could be different.

I was having a small procedure the other day and I asked the doctor if I could administer my own anesthesia...... (lemmy.world)

submitted 7 hours ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

He said "Sure, knock yourself out"

256

New job (thelemmy.club)

submitted 1 day ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

12 comments fedilink

113

I bought a new taser the other day but discovered I was holding it wrong..... (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

6 comments fedilink

I was stunned ⚡️⚡️

I got a great price on a 3 foot long ruler the other day... (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 days ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

4 comments fedilink

I got it at a yard sale

280

Flock of cows (thelemmy.club)

submitted 3 days ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

7 comments fedilink

I bought tickets in the same seats for back to back nights to see the PBR show in town. (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by 64bithero@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

On the second night the attendant tried pointing to me my seat. But I cut them off and said: “its ok, this isn’t my first rodeo”

What award do you get when you win dentist of the year? (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 days ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

1 comments fedilink

A little plaque!

Dad Joke 3.0.. (lemmy.today)

submitted 2 days ago by twettledumb@lemmy.today to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

What do you call an angry carrot?

A steamed Veggie

RIP Boiling water

you'll be mist

106

If you listen closely when a cow runs out of milk... (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 days ago by RegularJoe@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

2 comments fedilink

all you hear is udder silence.

101

Researchers have grown human vocal cords in a petri dish for the first time... (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 days ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

4 comments fedilink

The results speak for themselves....

131

Someone threw a giant bottle of omega-3 pills at me… (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 days ago by RegularJoe@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

2 comments fedilink

Luckily, I only suffered super fish oil injuries...

I must be really good at cooking steaks (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 days ago by HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

3 comments fedilink

People always tell me they're well done

135

What type of pants do ghosts hunters wear? (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 days ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

2 comments fedilink

Just a paranormal jeans. 👖

188

Gang shit (thelemmy.club)

submitted 5 days ago by FenrirIII@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

4 comments fedilink

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/46301461

206

Rare photo of the Milky Way seen from the surface of Mars (thelemmy.club)

submitted 6 days ago by Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

3 comments fedilink

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/46272281

294

A-koo-chee-moya (thelemmy.club)

submitted 6 days ago by FenrirIII@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

8 comments fedilink

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/46256782

Where do birds go for Spring break? (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 days ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

Some place cheep!

Played an RPG character who was a telepathic grizzly that was minor nobility but had amnesia. (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 days ago by Makeitstop@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

8 comments fedilink

His name? Baron Mind.

What city do you move to for a chronic sore throat? (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 days ago by TheTechnician27@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

5 comments fedilink

Loz Angeles!

I had lunch at that new Chinese-German fusion restaurant. An hour later, I was hungry again....for power. (startrek.website)

submitted 5 days ago by IcedRaktajino@startrek.website to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

2 comments fedilink

Courtesy of Rose and The Golden Girls.

106

What do you call an alligator that uses GPS? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

4 comments fedilink

A navi-gator!

Hunter Dad Jokes 1.0 (lemmy.today)

submitted 1 week ago by twettledumb@lemmy.today to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

4 comments fedilink

what do you call an eyeless dear?

no eye dear. lol 😂

129

On windy days, I like annoying everyone with a "Boy, we're sure getting our money's worth out of these wind chimes!" (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by Jimbabwe@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

5 comments fedilink

That’s it. My OC dad joke. Please use responsibly.

Dad Jokes

23226 readers

274 users here now

Description

This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

Rules

Clean jokes only please. If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old and they can understand, you probably shouldn’t post it here. Please post edgier jokes to: !unclejokes@lemmy.world
Adult topics with which to be cautious or avoided: drugs, sex, death, racism.
Must post text, image (e.g., meme), or direct link. Do not post external links that cannot be viewed directly from the community (e.g., link to joke website, Facebook, Instagram, etc.)
Follow Lemmy.World Code of Conduct

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

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