Post text, images, or direct links only (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 years ago by loopy@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

5 comments fedilink

Please see the updated sidebar. Do not post external links to websites such as Facebook and Instagram.

116

Please post jokes about adult topics to the new Uncle Jokes community (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by loopy@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

9 comments fedilink

Update 2025-9-11: If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old and they would understand, you should probably post it to the this community: !unclejokes@lemmy.world. Please message me if you think it could be different.

Did you hear about the world class runner who sprained his ankle? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 15 hours ago by Quilotoa@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

He decided to try out for the Limpics.

Why was the golfer medically disqualified from playing ? (lemmy.world)

submitted 13 hours ago by 64bithero@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

1 comments fedilink

He had one to many strokes

"That's a very clever answer, Mister Vulcan. But it's not very logical, is it?" - Neelix (thelemmy.club)

submitted 20 hours ago by FenrirIII@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/43256076

Template

ENT s2e17 "Canamar"

What do you call someone who can smell the future? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago by Siethron@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

2 comments fedilink

Nostrildamus

132

I've been trying to warn everyone about the dangers of dehydrated grapes. (lemmy.today)

submitted 1 day ago by TheImpressiveX@lemmy.today to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

6 comments fedilink

I'm raisin awareness.

406

If at first you don't connect (thelemmy.club)

submitted 3 days ago by Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

25 comments fedilink

Where did Napoleon keep his armies? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 2 days ago by Quilotoa@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

3 comments fedilink

Up his sleevies.

104

A man getting pregnant is almost inconceivable. (lemmy.ca)

submitted 3 days ago by Quilotoa@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

9 comments fedilink

Why did everyone keep asking the duck to pull up his pants? (startrek.website)

submitted 4 days ago by IcedRaktajino@startrek.website to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

1 comments fedilink

Because his qwack was showing.

Present tense (feddit.uk)

submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by retrolasered@feddit.uk to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

Present tense: turtle diving out of a tree.

Less tense: turtle dove out of a tree.

111

I grilled a chicken for 3 hours yesterday.... (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 days ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

4 comments fedilink

It still wouldn't tell me why it crossed the road.

I went to buy a wig the other day... (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 days ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

3 comments fedilink

The sales assistant asked how I wanted toupee!

I asked the French Hot Dog Vendor how much it took to make a hotdog in the old days .. (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 days ago by 64bithero@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

3 comments fedilink

He said exactly 1 frank

346

Some quick math with Scotty (thelemmy.club)

submitted 1 week ago by FenrirIII@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

1 comments fedilink

cross-posted from: https://piefed.world/c/tenforward/p/865666/some-quick-math-with-scotty

Did you hear about the dictator who walked into a bar? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

1 comments fedilink

He ordered everyone around....

121

Two antennae got married (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 week ago by Susaga@sh.itjust.works to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

6 comments fedilink

The wedding was okay, but the reception was excellent

Did you hear about the Amish couple that got divorced? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 1 week ago by Quilotoa@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

1 comments fedilink

He was driving her buggy.

What did the lunchbox say to the refrigerator? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

Don't hate me because I'm a little cooler...

Did I ever tell you all the story about mushroom hunting? It's pretty long but.... (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

4 comments fedilink

There's a morel at the end, and that's no shitake. 🍄🍄

What is the hardest tea to swallow? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

22 comments fedilink

Reality.

192

Oléo! (thelemmy.club)

submitted 1 week ago by homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

1 comments fedilink

170

An old farmer was in the hospital for severe dehydration...... (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

3 comments fedilink

His neighbors sent a card that said "Get well, soon!"

183

Someone ripped the 5th month out of my calendar.... (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

9 comments fedilink

I'm dismayed....

Dad Jokes

22312 readers

214 users here now

Description

This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

Rules

Clean jokes only please. If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old and they can understand, you probably shouldn’t post it here. Please post edgier jokes to: !unclejokes@lemmy.world
Adult topics with which to be cautious or avoided: drugs, sex, death, racism.
Must post text, image (e.g., meme), or direct link. Do not post external links that cannot be viewed directly from the community (e.g., link to joke website, Facebook, Instagram, etc.)
Follow Lemmy.World Code of Conduct

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

loopy@lemmy.world