Post text, images, or direct links only (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 years ago by loopy@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

5 comments fedilink

Please see the updated sidebar. Do not post external links to websites such as Facebook and Instagram.

122

Please post jokes about adult topics to the new Uncle Jokes community (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by loopy@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

9 comments fedilink

Update 2025-9-11: If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old and they would understand, you should probably post it to the this community: !unclejokes@lemmy.world. Please message me if you think it could be different.

I know gas and food prices are high, but have you seen the price of chimneys? (lemmy.world)

submitted 9 hours ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

5 comments fedilink

They're through the roof!

I've never had any vegetable try to speak to me before... (lemmy.world)

submitted 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) by aeronmelon@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

2 comments fedilink

But I had an onion ring once.

108

I'm learning jokes in sign language because... (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 days ago by RegularJoe@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

1 comments fedilink

no one's heard them before.

Say it fast (startrek.website)

submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by IcedRaktajino@startrek.website to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

9 comments fedilink

Knock knock.

Who's there?

I eat mop.

I eat mop who?

Eww, that's gross.

120

I was at the doctor's the other day and told the nurse I was bitten by a wolf. She said "Where?".. (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 days ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

3 comments fedilink

I said "No, a regular one"

I was accused of using a boolean (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by 64bithero@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

5 comments fedilink

Unfortunately I must confess that it’s true …

176

To the person who stole my place in the queue... (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 days ago by TehBamski@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

2 comments fedilink

I’m after you now.

120

Callout (thelemmy.club)

submitted 4 days ago by Hatshepsut@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/46848864

111

My wife found a bunch of hidden letters that revealed I was cheating on her.... (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 days ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

Now she won't play Scrabble with me

And the lord said "come forth and receive eternal life" (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 4 days ago by Susaga@sh.itjust.works to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

1 comments fedilink

But John came fifth, and received a toaster.

Who is the saddest Spice Girl (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by 5oap10116@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

7 comments fedilink

Hospice

Joke only works in text though. That being said, when my dad was in his final days in hospice, we would cheer each other up by saying Ill meet you at "Hoe‐spice": ergo, this joke.

I was reaching for a book on my homemade book case when it fell and hit me... (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 days ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

2 comments fedilink

I have only my shelf to blame

Waitress : would you like a table or a booth ? (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 days ago by 64bithero@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

1 comments fedilink

Me: actually I would like something to eat …

Nurse Joke-What does it mean when a patient is drooling out of both sides of their mouth? (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 days ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

3 comments fedilink

The gurney is level!

Happy Nurses Day!

Formaldehyde is bad organic compound that caused cancer, so scientist are creating a good alternative. (lemmy.zip)

submitted 6 days ago by psx_crab@lemmy.zip to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

4 comments fedilink

They called it Formaldejekyll.

-2

I was in a work truck, passenger. (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 days ago by Jerb322@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

6 comments fedilink

We were on the hwy passing a sign that had the next town ..... "Plover, 2 miles"

I yelled out "PLOVER!"

The driver swerved back and forth a bit, staring at me, startled.

Seeing my shit eating grin, he proceeded to yell at me how dangerous that was and how he wasn't amused.

What do you call a group of 8 hobbits? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by dohpaz42@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

3 comments fedilink

A hob-byte.

~Looks like humor is back on the menu boys!~

101

A limbo champion walked into a bar.... (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

3 comments fedilink

They lost.

Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippy? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

1 comments fedilink

He was too far out!

I invented a thought controlled air freshener... (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

4 comments fedilink

It makes scents when you think about it....

Why can you no longer purchase an ancient Egyptian burial in America? (programming.dev)

submitted 1 week ago by vrek@programming.dev to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

3 comments fedilink

Those companies were all found to be pyramid schemes!

276

Drinking impairs memory (thelemmy.club)

submitted 1 week ago by PopcornPrincess@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

6 comments fedilink

Frank was adamant there are no rivers in Egypt . We had to fly in country and we had to keep pushing him for weeks! (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by 64bithero@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

3 comments fedilink

But now Frank finally admits he was in the Nile .

Dad Jokes

23328 readers

136 users here now

Description

This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

Rules

Clean jokes only please. If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old and they can understand, you probably shouldn’t post it here. Please post edgier jokes to: !unclejokes@lemmy.world
Adult topics with which to be cautious or avoided: drugs, sex, death, racism.
Must post text, image (e.g., meme), or direct link. Do not post external links that cannot be viewed directly from the community (e.g., link to joke website, Facebook, Instagram, etc.)
Follow Lemmy.World Code of Conduct

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

loopy@lemmy.world