this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2024
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chapotraphouse

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then half the people living today are younger than you are. World's median age is around 31. Imagine all those people who have seen less than you, learned less than you. By a slight margin they make up the bulk of humanity. Congrats on becoming an elder. Go teach them what you know.

My source: the literal CIA world factbook which I will not link here

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Congrats on becoming an elder. Go teach them what you know.

But I don’t know anything blob-no-thoughts

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

And others know even less than you. This is the way of the world and the context in which we must continually mold it!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

”context” and “in which” in the same sentence

kamala-coconut-tree

stop-posting-amogus GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! aaaa

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 weeks ago

We're closer to the end of humanity than we are to the invention of flight

Are these the things I should be teaching or too doomer for the zoomers? 🤔

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I keep trying to teach them things but they keep telling me I have L rizz and negative aura and that I need to become a skibbity sigma rizzler.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

How can you teach if you're not first willing to learn?

edgeworth-smug

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I watched all the videos about a head coming out of a toilet and I still don't get it.

This shit is more confusing than Hegel!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Jokes aside, I feel that the hexbear mode of communication - confident belief and fearless defense of your principles, combined with slightly unhinged and uncompromising shitposting - is pretty close to what the kids find cool. It's always been that, really. Trying to baby speak to them is a lost cause. Preaching at them even more so.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

This is also baby speak, coming from us olds

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Lol way to make some of us feel fuxking old

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

go back to watching pokemon cards moving cash on antique roadshow

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

See, I'm one of those folks who just keep moving the goalposts of what young means to include them too.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago

The median age in the United States is 38, which is the highest it's ever been. That makes some of us the most middle-aged people of all time.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago

but the things they need to know are not the things i know

i guess i could start learning how to distill water from human beings and build deep-earth bunkers

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

yes, i will teach the young ones how to become a pathetic sexless loser, how to be dead broke unemployed and living with your parents as a 'middle aged' adult, and how to obsess over niche sci fi military topics to the point where they cannot have a normal conversation with literally any person.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

Don’t say things to yourself that you wouldn’t say to a friend!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Wow thanks for the existential anxiety

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

I will teach the children how to torrent

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Me, 31, letting the "more than" in the title restore my youthfulness 😌

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Guess I should get planning my mid life crisis.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Does that mean I'm half way done?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Tomorrow is not promised!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Preemptive apologies to the next generation.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

I'm 31 and have mostly seen the inside of my bedroom tbh... and lots of weird shit on the computer

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

If any kids want to learn how to smoke cigars, please message me.

But, seriously, damn, that's some pressure. I hope I can pass on something good.