this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2024
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[–] [email protected] 62 points 2 months ago (2 children)

You need ionizing radiation like UV rays or shorter wavelengths to cause cancer. Phone radios can't generate UV rays, and that's not an engineering/software thing, that's Actual Physics. Furthermore, harmful ionizing radiation caused by photons would cause distinctive sunburn injuries. Also wouldn't penetrate clothing unless it was up into x-ray radiation and you need specialized machines to do that, phones simply don't have the power needed.

Also, cancer from radiation isn't an instant thing, it requires years and years of compounding cell replication errors to eventually stumble into the right combination of mutations. We're talking years to decades from initial exposure to cancer, and it's not even 100% likely to kill you.

If the CIA wanted you dead they'd just shoot you or cut your brake lines or something similarly quick and easy.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (2 children)

^this OP. Can confirm, I have a background in physics, electrical engineering, and telecommunications. Flatly, it's not possible.

But if they want to listen to your phone calls and read your emails, yes they can. That comes down to logistics, there aren't enough people who have access to these systems to keep close tabs on every shit poster. Plus they need a warrant if you're a US citizen.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)

^OP, trans Karen is lying to you. She's a Fed, every cell phone created after 2006 is manufactured with a CIA cancer ray chip. ESPECIALLY the ones from China. This is well known and I have personally seen the documents that prove it.

Throw your phone in the ocean and communicate via carrier pigeon ONLY. You've been warned.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

hi schillmeaker, it's me, the assistant manager from the CIA department you work in, i'm just kindly letting you know that you're off the clock and not getting paid overtime for this. Love the enthusiasm though!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Hi Clippy, I'm agent Smith from the FBI and we're currently subcontracting SchillMenaker. I'm a bit surprised you haven't been looped in, but our boys in accounting are taking care of the overtime, don't worry! Let's circle back to this at the end of this month and hope the ducks have gotten their bread o7

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I've switched to my secure analog channel of hexbear DOT net to tell you how much your approval means to me. Like most of our agents, I'm a bipolar manic/schizophrenic on the visible light spectrum and I often suffer from Havana-Impostor syndrome. I was told this job was of vital importance to national security but every day I spend among these tankies I can feel my sense of self slowly slipping away. I looked at the picture of my family that I keep on my desk to try and draw some kind of strength to keep going and I realized that the picture of my family was gone, and in its place was a pig with poop on its balls. How long has that been there? Days? Years? Time is losing all meaning and I am genuinely questioning whether I actually exist at this point.

Anyway, it's a good thing this line is secure because if the scumbags here knew how emotionally and psychologically devastating it is for our division to be here it would surely undermine our operational effectiveness.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

:fed Don't worry, this line is built on the same secure encrypted technology as iMessage

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Atta boy, trigger that psychotic delusion!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Plus they need a warrant if you're a US citizen.

Notably law abiding and accountable organization, the CIA/NSA.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Yeah, there's violations. Some dick heads did this at NSA a number of years back, then interviewed on 60 minutes or something. Like, bro, you're saying the NSA did it (which they can), but you're the one who literally copied personal phone conversations just for funzies, nobody ordered you to! That shit was wild.

But if there's any charges brought before a court without that warrant, the case gets thrown out. So in short, they'll need to disappear you if they want to directly do anything to you. So, chances are, you're not doing something that merits that much time and effort. And if you are, you should know better than to use a registered phone.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Always remember that. If they want to dead you will eventually just double tap yourself in the back of the head

[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I actually designed this feature. They paid me in the form of a lifetime supply of those little plastic frogs that jump when you press down on them. It's convenient because I'm always losing them.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Entry level pay grade is spider rings, right?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The spiders scare most people off but the benefits are underrated. Once I started making lightning bugs gummy pouches I never looked back

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Are you on track for promotion to finger traps?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They don't do those here. Something about spies and CCP technology. Don't know what that's about, but I'm satisfied with the frogs. I might even be able to retire!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I understand.

All according to the plan of the Sonic radio on the top shelf... no-copyright

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Holy shit a lifetime supply? I didn’t even know that was an option

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago

Yeah the trade-off is I have radiation poisoning now because they couldn't find any QA testers in time. But I think I made the right choice they even have glow in the dark frogs

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago

you guys are getting paid?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago

Yo, tbey hiring?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

They finally got to you, eh? I guess it's true what they say: Everyone has a price.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 months ago

Cell phones can't produce ionizing radiation, which is the kind that damages cells and causes cancer.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago (1 children)

As long as you aren't made of magnets you're probably fine

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You can get a Geiger counter and then it next to your phone. Ionizing radiation is pretty darn easy to detect and if it were the case someone else would have noticed it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Geiger counters are known to the state of California to cause cancer.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Don't use it in California

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Cell phones use really low power non-ionizing radiation to communicate. Cancer is caused by particularly unlucky mutations to genes. To get those mutations you need ionizing radiation. Cell phone antenna and transmitters are physically incapable of producing the type of energy required to alter genes. Generally, improvements in power draw to make batteries last longer keep making the signals transmit less energy- we have been getting better at using things like the spatial diversity of multiple antenna to get sufficient signal with more bandwidth and less power.

But, hey, every time you are exposed to sunlight, that is ionizing radiation (hence things like melanoma). Taking a plane flight increases your risks because gaining altitude removes some of the protective atmosphere between you and our local star.

The CIA revealed that they used to have a heart attack gun. If they are willing to admit that, then they almost certainly have something much better. Rest assured it isn't your cellphone antenna.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

A heart attack gun makes sense though because you can induce many ailments with the right amount of chemicals/drug cocktails and it can be fatal instantly. Giving someone cancer is doable, but just doesn’t make any sense from a strategic view.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Giving someone cancer is also typically incredibly slow as a way to kill people. A heart attack inducer would be more useful, since it kills people right away, while a cancer-gun would kill people over several months/years.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Not only would it take a long time, I imagine the results would be extremely random to the point it would be unreliable as an execution method. Carcinogens, and the way each person's body reacts to them, are highly unpredictable. That's why health disclaimers on carcinogenic products say "may cause cancer" and not "will cause cancer."

It would be far easier to just shoot or stab the target and make it look like a robbery gone bad or something.

Reminds me of that scene from Austin Powers where they parody those intricate death traps in James Bond films...

Dr. Evil: I'm going to kill Mr. Powers by putting him in an overly elaborate and easily escapable contraption and assume it all went according to plan.

Scott: Why don't you just get a gun and shoot him? He's right there!

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago

They have a heart attack gun, a stroke gun, and they definitely have a cancer gun. Why make a random smartphone into cancer radiating device when you can just give the target a zap of the cancer gun? Seems easier, just saying.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

The radios and antennas in a smartphone are no where near powerful enough for that.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

It is true

I drive a train, so I know

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

No. Your phone radio is incapable of producing ionizing radiation and you will melt your radio before you can pump out enough non ionizing radiation to hurt you.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

The cia could just break into your house or car and place a few chemicals into your food or something. So they can do it without this. The physics don't. Check out. Your battery would explode long before it could put out enough power to irradiate you harmfully.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

Not how phones work.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

yeah they did it to me and now I have havana syndrome

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

It is true. You know how your phone begins to drain it's battery when it gets older? That's because the CIA turned on the cancer rays. Getting a new phone helps because it takes some time for the CIA to discover that you've got a new phone.

This is why you should use burner phones btw.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

You need to be worried about the Frey effect but across different spectra, not cancer.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Many people are saying this.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

why would they have to do that when everything about capitalism is already giving you cancer including the mass production of plastics, all of the food you eat, the train derailments, the underground garbage fires that are slowly heading towards piles of nuclear waste, the pollution, and the stress of needing a meaningless job to survive.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Sony has shown that it can (accidentally/negligently) short circuit its hardware via firmware updates. I’m sure cyberwarfare agencies have the capabilities to remotely detonate your phone’s battery. The CIA have already allegedly hijacked a vehicle and killed an American journalist.

But just from a pragmatic perspective, it doesn’t make sense to give someone cancer especially through phones. You want to kill or permanently incapacitate your target as quickly as possible. Or in the case of Russia, you want to slowly poison your target with radiation because they’re traitors who need to be made examples of - but those cases are odd because the Brits don’t allow any evidence or witnesses to be disclosed even in court. But cancer relies too much on the person’s genetics. If they’re strong, then they have a chance of beating it, not to mention cancer is universally disliked and garner a lot of sympathy which you want to avoid.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

I’m sure cyberwarfare agencies have the capabilities to remotely detonate your phone’s battery

This is now my new ClA/NSA smartphone remote assassination vibes based belief, thank you

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You ever seen a faulty phone explode? They're not powered by C4. Batteries that small might be deadly when they pop if you swallow the phone first.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

They can light your phone battery on fire when you're asleep and burn your house down

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Yes, it is common knowledge🤷