huupe
I HATE SILICON VALLEY STARTUPS
I HATE SILICON VALLEY STARTUPS
this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2024
106 points (100.0% liked)
chapotraphouse
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The worst part is you just know their pitch included some bullshit about the symbolism of how the individual 'you's come together because of the huupe 
Huuuupe brings together humans to be better humans by participating in a human activity that betters the human community. Humans! 
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I fucking gagged when the image loaded and I saw that name. Silicon Valley needs to be renamed Lifeless Irradiated Crater
Silicon Valley needs to be ~~renamed~~ turned into Lifeless Irradiated Crater
That shit will probably break in months. Bazinga trash doesn't tend to last long outdoors for long.
How could we have possibly known that it occasionally rains in places that aren't California? 
The electronics will break but the basketball hoop will remain perfectly functional like ever other basketball hoop in existence but because the bazinga part broke the entire hoop will be removed and no one can play basketball
Mitch hedburgs joke about how broken escalators are just stairs except that it's broken modern technology is actually just a better version of itself.
A bunch of cops setting up a "do not cross" perimeter and getting really jumpy about it because the owner of the bazinga hoop is afraid of looters. 
Not to over play how shit this is but since kids use this too, I feel like sports are a great way to learn to keep track of things in your head, which must be good for your brain in addition to the physical activity. We've been doing this with hoops since we got em what does this even add? I think it just takes away another social and personal aspect of possible growth for something that will 1 for sure break and 2 still certainly suck at doing what is supposed to do anyway
Checked their website
$10,000 USD plus $30/month subscription "for those who want added content, the ability to advertise on the backboard and more."
If I'm playing basketball at a gym and they're playing home insurance ads on the backboard I'm losing it.
"Sorry dude I was 100% sure that rock was a basketball when I shot it"
$10,000 USD plus $30/month subscription
OR GET A FUCKING PIECE OF METAL IN A REASONABLY SIZED CIRCLE. BACKBOARD OPTIONAL, EVEN A NET IF YOU FEEL GENEROUS 
This is why I was never into sports as a kid, there was no content anywhere.
I can't wait to go to a youth basketball game that has Bluey going on the backboards
This thing seems easily breakable and expensive to replace.
Also that fucking name - huuuuuupe
Eric Adam is gonna deputize them and make it a crime to break them.
So whatchu in for?
Ballin' too hard 
I didn't think "Ball so hard motherfuckers wanna fine me" would turn out to be prophetic
that shit cray 
what she order? 
Fish Filet
We go play huupe with the Choom Gang.
huupe has documented this unlawful behavior and reported it to the authorities
huupe has identified three black males ages 24-35, weapons free code green NYPD
Really cool and legible screen I'm sure it will look even better from ground level
I'm sure it'll look great after sitting in the weather and being smacked with dirty basketballs.
Looking forward to kids getting harassed by cops for defacing city property because their basketball was insufficiently sanitized and is leaving prints on the huupe
NYC never gets any crazy inclimate weather either so i'm sure that won't be a problem
See new technology
Look inside
It's just racial profiling
Moooom can I have a smart basketball board to keep track of the game score and my stats?
To play the game better?
Yessssss.
Actually, SPY ON BLACK CHILDREN.
hell yeah, the days of hanging off the rim are BACK, baby.
Was gonna say I thought smashing back boards peaked in coolness in the late 90s but apparently now it's also praxis.
Kyle Reese doing some sick backboard smashing before smashing Sarah Connor 
Obviously this is just an excuse to install cameras, but still, why the hell would you put the screen in the area that people are most determined to hurl the ball at?
Apparently they don’t have cameras in them. It’s still a very useless product though
The little black piece at the top looks like a camera.
The website stated on their mini version doesn’t have one. Maybe the normal version does
Bull fucking shit.
Those things don't have cameras in them in the same way Alexa doesn't listen to you when you aren't talking to it.
The mini version apparently works with lidar their website doesn’t say anything about the bigger versions so you’re probably right. Either way who the fuck needs to watch tv while playing basketball 🤷♂️
It's not taking photos of you, just building a 3D depth map of your facial features. Very different sweatie 💅
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boutta go FUUTURRRRRRE like Squidward.
huupe
stop
oof ahh oh noo gotta take a big puupe
Bringing a whole new meaning to putting up bricks.
Soon, sports betting will come to street games, and wiselads will crack the encryption system of the hoop to figure out which team is better 
R/ballstreetbets
Nightmare shit
You can now watch tv while playing basketball……why?
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