It's the dunk tank.
This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.
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I have nothing funny to say about this. This particular grift has already killed or permanently disabled, with agonizing pain, thousands of primates under sloppy conditions that would fit right in with Mengele.
I have deep, lasting hatred for these death cultists.
"hey did you hear about that brain chip that killed like a dozen chimps?"
"yeah, i'm gonna stick it in my dog now"
what the actual fuck
It killed a lot more than a dozen, and many more than that had visible signs of permanent agony and distress, many trying to end their own lives.
If this is a real twitter account then this guy also has a neuralink chip inside him: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noland_Arbaugh
Apparently they botched it hard lmao:
A month after the procedure, up to 85% of the Neuralink threads implanted in Arbaugh's brain had retracted and become unresponsive, degrading his ability to control external interfaces. In lieu of additional surgery to fix the problem, software updates were made that have allowed Arbaugh to regain some functions.[6]
I love my dog! That's why I'm going to torture it!
"Telepathy" means cyberpunkerino brain implants, according to bazingas that don't understand their fantasy or science fiction treats. 
Making a phone call, right now, is also telepathy by the same standard, except without the excruciating pain, infections, and agonizing deaths.
What if - and hear me out - we used physical waves transmitted through the air instead of electromagnetic waves?
there's something deeply wrong with these people
The same bazingas regularly and constantly dismiss deaths in magic "autopilot" cars with "every accident makes the technology smarter!" which is angry volcano god placation theory in action.
A family member of mine had to put their dog dow recently due to worsening health rendering the dog unable to move, so I'm kinda in a bit more sensitive state for this sorta thing right now but...
The idea this healthy dog is gonna be killed or spend the rest of its (significantly shortened) life in serious pain, all to install a useless lump of machinery into it's skull, is making me feel worse than it typically would right now.
I'm gonna go 
for tonight, give my dog a pat on the head, and then desperately try to forget I ever read this.
I think that's a good idea. I think it's time I do the same.
Take care of yourself, friend...
If you want somebody to kill your dog I'm pretty sure there's a Republican governor out there who will do it for free. No need to bother with a chip.
I hope the dog is able to telepathically broadcast its agony to this shithead the entire time it is dying.
Cops love killing dogs
Are these people under the impression that your dog will suddenly grasp human language once you communicate "telepathically" like in a straight-to-DVD talking pet movie?
Considering this is the same bunch that thinks the moment a person steps foot on Mars that BWAAAAMS will erupt out of nowhere, humanity will ascend to the next epoch and be that much closer to godhood, and the credits will begin scrolling, yes.
Going to be VERY disappointed if I do not get a little cutscene with inspirational music and Sean Bean talking about progress and then an endgame screen telling me I won upon setting foot on Mars.
I hope the surgeon doing the procedure has a massive stroke
Of course it would be some bazinga’s bazinga dog
The bazinga is the quadriplegic guy they put the chip in. I'm guessing they're telling him that he'll be able to talk to the dog 
style
Didn't he already have some serious problems with the bazinga chip, but is stuck in a "still love the TRUCKKK, I mean the chip" sunk cost fallacy experience?
Disclaimer: I'm not opposed to technologies that may restore functions to disabled people; I'm opposed to underegulated startup bazinga shit that inflicts undue suffering with diminished scientific usefulness for a profit.
I think his brain was pushing the wires out or something? I'm assuming they fixed it, but still
I've never had a disability to the degree of a quadriplegic person, but I can bet it's super cool to be able to play a stupid computer game for the first time in a long time without feeling like your body is in the way.
That being said, I can set aside my disbelief that one of the bazinga king's companies can put out a chip that let's someone interface with a computer (despite it's super suspect safety), but communication with another person is a lot more complex - let alone communication with a different species. Why would anyone even consider doing this
Don't they have cursor control based on eye tracking?
They do. I'm sure there's other disability tech that doesn't involve experimental surgery. I'm just saying I can kinda empathize, even though the guy with the chip is a bazinga doofus.
Putting the chip in the dog is a step too far though
I don't have a problem with him putting a chip in himself and I can see why he did. The dog is too far though.
Yep, most of the electrodes migrated away from where they should be, so it doesn't really work anymore.
It can't be fixed and means no more implants.
The dog had no say in this and has no idea what's about to happen.
"we live in the best of times"
Dogs as a species are (now) genetic horrors with huge health problems
Average dog breed members share 25 percent genetic material with any other random member of their breed - similar to full siblings
Brachycephalic breeds are more than 30 related
Sure let's torture dogs in new and innovative ways
https://www.ucdavis.edu/health/news/most-dogs-highly-inbred
The average inbreeding based on genetic analysis across 227 breeds was close to 25%, or the equivalent of sharing the same genetic material with a full sibling. These are levels considered well above what would be safe for either humans or wild animal populations. In humans, high levels of inbreeding (3-6%) have been associated with increased prevalence of complex diseases as well as other conditions.
[...]
The study also revealed a significant difference in morbidity between brachycephalic (short skull and snout) and non-brachycephalic breeds. While that finding wasn’t unexpected, the researchers removed brachycephalic breeds from the final analysis on effects of inbreeding on health. [in the paper, the mean inbreeding coefficient for brachycepahlic breeds is given as 31.9%]
Random off-topic question
Are mutts better? Like, more diverse genetics right? I always hear dog nerds complain about mixed breeds and shit, and I don't understand how that is possibly worse for them.
They can be, it depends on their ancestry
This study published data from 50,000 DNA tests (F adjusted column - Additional file 1: Dataset 1)
It does note that:
There were interesting exceptions to the correlation of inbreeding and health. The Border terrier, Basenji, Collie, and English setter breeds have high inbreeding but low morbidity. Likewise, the Malinois, Pomeranian and Russian Tsvetnaya Bolonka (Russian Toy) have lower inbreeding and high morbidity. These example breeds are neither brachycephalic nor particularly known for extreme morphologies. In the case of healthy breeds with high inbreeding, it may be possible that these breeds have been purged of deleterious alleles as has happened with inbred mouse strains [46]. In the opposite situation (lower inbreeding and high morbidity), the recorded morbidities could be high allele frequency Mendelian diseases or potentially conditions linked to phenotypes under selection in the breed.
You can also look at the plots in the study and see that while a high degree of inbreeding is associated with considerably higher mortality, there's a huge amount of overlap. You can do dog eugenics and get very unhealthy dogs, but you can't do dog eugenics and get dogs that will never have any health conditions (except the worst physiological ones that only exist because of ridiculous amounts of inbreeding).
If you have a general idea of the temperament of the parents, you'll have a better time. The issue is that a lot of a dog's 'personality' is based on genetics, and while you can train it out of them if you start when they are puppies, but it can only do so much. Eg. If you breed an anxious or nervous breed of dog with an energetic and friendly breed dog, there is a good possibility that the puppies will have huge attachment anxiety and will rip up your house if you don't have another dog around, something you could train them out of, but you would literally be fighting their genetics to do so.
Most dog breed owners prefer to train with the genetics of their dog, which can be easier with pure breeds. I say can be because there are a lot of weird things that can and do go on there. Long story short, mutts are usually fine if you have an idea of who the parents were and their temperaments, and can have time to train them. Otherwise it is a completely mixed bag.
Overall mutts have better tendencies towards physical health, but again, it can be a mixed bag.
The degree to which genetics influence behaviour at the individual dog level is very much overhyped - this is some decent research
https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.abk0639
So you can see here that border collies on average take instruction much better than the average dog, but it's very difficult to determine whether the bordie collie you get will be any good at taking instructions.
They also made a website with the data https://darwinsark.org/muttomics_viz_dashboard/
Maybe wolfdogs are the answer... 
Oh cool animal abuse with extra steps, love to see it!
Everyone working on that project is fucking soulless. After the first primate died screaming they had no excuse not to shut it all down, but no they just kept going.
Did they run out of apes 
?
Is getting Muskophiles to sacrifice their pets a cost-cutting measure? I almost feel sorry for the person about to learn their dog died terribly, but the animal is the only innocent here. Please 
inspire somebody do something cool like or settling for using the same lead pipe on all the equipment in the lab.
Go fast and break things mentality is an innately immature approach to innovation, and the bastards went and applied it to medical research.
Dogs get confused when they see their reflection in the window. They don't have the mental capacity to understand what is happening, even if this works as intended and doesn't just lobotomise the poor thing. There's no way the dog could consent to this. Why doesn't this POS implant a chip in his own head so he can hear his lord and saviour Musk's voice 24/7?
I just want to know what kind of surgeons wake up in the morning and say "what a wonderful day to mutilate my fellow man as well as some canines and chimps"
Surgeons famously have higher rates of psychopathic personality traits. You need to have a certain level of detachment to be able to handle the intense pressure of surgery and to live with bad outcomes, let alone cut into someone in the first place, but too much and you can cross the line from healthy detachment into egomaniacal butcher; for a particularly horrific example, see Christopher Duntsch a.k.a. "Dr. Death".
Is it for sure allowed?
This may 2024 bloomberge article says "Arbaugh lives with his mother, stepdad, David Neely, and half-brother, Tavita, in Yuma, Arizona".
Neualink is based in Freemont California.
Basic laws in those states:
About the vet. Especially if it can be determined who the vet/surgeon would be but these orgs might have powers of investigation.
Humane Society of the United States suggests a website called USACOPS: Police Departments, Sheriffs' Offices and Other Law Enforcement Agencies in the United States | Law Enforcement Directory to find a relevant LE; looks less viable (and way ickier) to me.
broke the law and ignored regulations many times before (such as ignoring covid restrictions while churching out bazingamobiles before his tantrum ragequit to Texas) and he's too rich and white for that to meaningfully stop him from continuing to do so.
Whoa whoa whoa you killed the dog, what did you do that for 
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
What the fuck?