this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2024
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Anyone else remember using Facebook to find out if your new crush was available?

I mean besides rating women, that was the initial purpose of FB.

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[–] [email protected] 77 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The goal of a dating app isn’t to bring people together, it’s to foster endless scrolling and ad engagement.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago

Can't have a successful dating app if everybody is matched up.

[–] [email protected] 75 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I don't think it was the tech bros that tossed that aside, but the users. I was there at the beginning when Facebook was just college students, but then they opened it to high schools, and then when my Aunt Joyce friended me it was basically over. Once your family is watching you who the fuck is going to be updating their relationship status

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I absolutely know people who started relationships through early Facebook. It was only open to college kids, and the whole site was designed to find likeminded people near to your existing friend group. Anyone remember the "six degrees of separation" feature that would show the chain of friend connections between you and another user?

[–] DakRalter 6 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Remember the actual sixdegrees.com?

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 4 months ago (1 children)

If most of the dating apps weren't owned by the same group we might be in better shape. Like, it's no wonder they're all kind of samey, expensive, and ineffective - match group owns like all of them.

Capitalism is pretty bad, but it's way worse without competition.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Friend of mine met his now wife as the very first woman he matched with on whatever app he used 10 years ago or so, and he can't fathom why I wouldn't give it a shot now.

You got fuckin lucky JOHN and the apps were free and weren't enshittified to keep you paying money to stay on the treadmill forever. Never mind that where I live now, I can throw a rock into a crowd of random people and have a 1/10 shot of hitting a cousin.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Help me step-cousin, I'm stuck

[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 months ago

The only decent dating app is KDE calendar. Other ones are confusing to me.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 months ago (9 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

Only if you are looking meet crazy people

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

crazy people

I prefer the term "people with an interesting personality".

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago
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[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

I'd date on Lemmy, since it seems many folks here align more closely with my political views than anywhere else I've been.

Problem is, many folks are so privacy-focused (some to the point of paranoia) they won't give you much info about themselves or their personal lives.

Kind of funny, tbh.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I think Lemmy dating would work much better for people living in North America. Americans seem to be the biggest demographic by far.

I live in Northern Ireland, the chances of finding other people from here on Lemmy are already slim, let alone a girl from here who is a similar age to me and up for a date!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Dating apps are bit like voting in Northern Ireland in the UK general election. Technically you're taking part in choosing the next PM but in reality you're just squinting hard at a small list of munters that'll do nothing for you.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (2 children)

If a cute girl could manage to dox and kidnap me, then it could work out as long as she has good internet in the basement.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Imo it's also sort of hard because of the size. You'd have to find really small communities so you're running into the same people and have the opportunity to foster relationships. easier on smaller instances or communities, but if you're just browsing /all it'll be harder to notice the same people.

unless, like, a dating specific instance or community popped up. tho I can see all kinds of issues in that

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I put on my robe and wizard hat...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

haaaarrrrrrrr

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago (3 children)

What if you're a YYYYMMDD person

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

Iso8601

Has no community yet on lemmy

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Why not both?

I use DDMMYYYY for everyday use but when naming backups (mainly on an external SSD) I use YYYYMMDD so sorting by name works correctly

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

But YY/MM/DD works better for sorting files since then sorting by name will give you chronological order.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Honestly a lot of us on here talk about being lonely so...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

If there's a hole...

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Even eHarmony was better than simply saying who was single. The entire concept of "dating apps" is good for hookups, but terrible for dating.

It definitely doesn't work for me

[–] [email protected] 28 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (5 children)

Idk, meeting an absolute stranger that you texted with for a day or so with the pressure and expectation of romance just sounds like a recipe for failure.

Starting a romance with someone you already have some history with or share a community with seems more plausible. I used to click with someone and then immediately run home to find out if they were available or not so I could find out if it was safe to develop a crush.

How was eHarmony different that tinder or bumble? I never used it.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

eHarmony had you take a huge personality test and then they'd match you against people all across the country that their algorithm said you were compatible with. It was pretty depressing when you'd spend 2 hours talking a test and eHarmony would be like "sorry, there's not a single match for you in the entire country". But that was because their system didn't run very fast, and matches would start trickling in over the next few days.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I'm mostly thinking about before the days of "swipe right/swipe left" but you put in information about your personality and you got recommendations based on that.

It wasn't so frantic or based on getting every match you could get, it was about getting matches that were most likely to click with you.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

On my brief 4-6 month career on Tinder many years ago, one of the only "successful" dates was someone who was trying to force it as much as possible. In their defense though, I feel like the apps encourage this.

It was here I learned that it was a huge turn-off for me and that I prefer to meet people organically.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Exactly this… I used those swipey apps for a few years. Went on lots of dates. Had a few I could’ve taken further. Had a few I wanted to go further. It all was pretty shallow though.

Eventually, I just went with someone I actually had known for years.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

It works for some people. I'm glad I'm in a good relationship and don't need to deal with that stuff but I also have a friend who met various women through the apps for a period until he met a certain special one, you could see it in him that week. And now years later they're happily married.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Craigslist personals were actually ok before they shut them down due to sex worker spam.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

This, 100%. Anyone in their mid-thirties will know just how great MySpace was for casual dating in your teens. It was back when the internet was still a wild west, and having a decent profile and an All-American Rejects song playing was enough to have women reach out.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

Got two kisses from girls I would have never otherwise met at high school due to Myspace.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I got my heart broken bad by a girl I met on MySpace. Man, to be young again!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

And the first thing I see is a 500 year old Thom York singing his heart out. :(

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Exactly this. Myspace was great for meeting new people. They even let you search for people in a given area by age, gender, interests, etc. Facebook, from what I remember (deleted mine years ago), was actively hostile towards you meeting people on their site, to the point that if someone added you that had no mutual friends, the site would ask if you knew them in real life.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Ahem, ahem, my yearbook.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

I met my wife in a free MMORPG called kal online. I recommend going this route. We have been together for... fuck me almost 20 years now.

That being said j would love a bdsm/kink dating app.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Note: this technique cannot be transferred to single-player games. I have tested the hypothesis thoroughly.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Recon for gay bdsm dating & hookups, Alt for general bdsm dating, FetLife for finding community

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Modern dating apps are my personal hell.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Hinge also sucks, to the point where calling it 'the dating app designed to be deleted' is blatant false advertising.

"If you want minge, don't use Hinge" would've been a more accurate slogan.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I met my wife on one of those dead websites that started out before Tinder was a thing and it's weird because we were one of the few people still there. I had no such luck with Tinder or any other apps at the time. That was 5 years ago.

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