this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2024
698 points (99.3% liked)

Funny: Home of the Haha

5661 readers
584 users here now

Welcome to /c/funny, a place for all your humorous and amusing content.

Looking for mods! Send an application to Stamets!

Our Rules:

  1. Keep it civil. We're all people here. Be respectful to one another.

  2. No sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia or any other flavor of bigotry. I should not need to explain this one.

  3. Try not to repost anything posted within the past month. Beyond that, go for it. Not everyone is on every site all the time.


Other Communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 112 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Can you imagine how offended you'd be if these were serious payments and the bank suggested you were joking? I have a mental image of a jihadist having an meltdown because their bank didn't take them seriously.

[–] [email protected] 75 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Like the actual taliban would label their payments this way.

[–] [email protected] 65 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Your right perhaps they'd use "Completely legitimate non-taliban misc expenses"

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 months ago

Well their requirement for looking into it is probably not restricted to "payments with labels referencing the taliban" but something more broad.

[–] [email protected] 64 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I used to write a check to my room mate and then she would write the rent check to the landlord. My checks to her always said "For: Sexual favors and drugs ;)" No one contacted us.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago

I've been doing this for decades. I find raunchy copypasta and put it in the notes section of etransfers. Nobody is investigating something because of what's in the notes field.

[–] [email protected] 62 points 6 months ago

I marked my rent payments to my roommate with "Cocaine and Hookers", went on for years but his bank complained one day too.

Funny to imagine if the banks managers were actually using our money for exactly that, but marked as company expenses instead.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 6 months ago (7 children)

The most unrealistic thing about this post is the bank not immediately blocking this user and dropping them from all banking services. Taking the time to investigate and not dropping the customer.... Incredible

[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I think the bank is smart enough to understand they were probably drunk and joking, if they were actually performing terrorist acts with the funds then they wouldn't label them so plainly. Closing someone's bank can cause a lot of issues in their life so it is more fair to warn them first.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I agree that is the reality we should live in, I'm not so sure that's the reality we do live in as experienced by most banking customers.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Starling are a newer bank as well and seem to be more forward thinking. An older bank may be likely to ban your account for this.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

My bank once disabled my access to my funds out of the blue and told me to come in person because they have to check stuff like terrorist funding for each client from time to time, same thing happened to a colleague. So banks blocking you suddenly and without warning is very much a thing

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

For real, "Hey, we're investigating you, good opportunity to hide your stuff now." And if a bank were literally concerned about terrorism (like HSBC?), I imagine they'd forward directly on to their legal department or law enforcement. Maybe. I dunno, I'm just some guy.

99% of my Venmos are for hookers and cocaine though.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Dropping business? PFFFFFT, see, that's why you're not a banker, you put silly things like possible threats and societal security above profits! Criminals and terrorists need banking services, banks can rat them out and come out as good guys, it's win-win!

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 58 points 6 months ago (1 children)

UK even making you pay for a jihad license now.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago (4 children)

TV license, Jihad license, whats next? Terrorist bomb threat license?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Oi, you got a loisones for that nuke your carrying?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Shur, mistah offissah... Wait, do YOU have a loicenss for asking for loicenss's?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

What an amazing Honeypot that would be.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Might as well grab a film camera and make "world's dumbest terrorists" show for TruTV

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

You didn’t pay for the terrorist bomb threat license?? Well too bad, no bomb threats for you!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

License license. Cant have you carrying a license while unlicensed now, can we.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I've heard people doing this and then getting black listed from the entire banking system. Can't open bank accounts, access any credit, and the banks don't have to tell you why you're blacklisted. It's supposed to be very very difficult to undo.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Would be good to have a source on that instead of rumors.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 6 months ago

Can’t speak to this exactly, but it also happens to fraudsters and the like, after a few bad checks/transfers at different places and you are basically blacklisted from banking, literally no one will open you an account as they all seem to use same backend for fraud review known as ChexSystems Wiki here, iirc since it handles Credit but is not one of the “Big 3” they have to supply your report at request but only by mail request.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Thanks for the links. However, the first link seems to only concern the USA. That's of course still a good find.

The other two links, which are related, concern the classification of whole countries in relationship to the EU and not individuals. So that doesn't seem relevant here.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

You havent truly lived unless you've been personally sanctioned by the international banking cartel.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 6 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Or if you're Dantes, "in-game, of course"

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago

"Jihad Fee" is so funny, I just love it.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago

the so called freedom fighters on the right when i make a $500 wire transfer with the description "supplies for firebombing majorie taylor greene's home on october 29th, 2027"

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago

Next check: definitely NOT for “ISIS Training “ 😉😉

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

My cousin used to employ his brother-in-law. He'd always write 'sex' on his checks :D

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago

There's always at least one FBI agent at the US Embassy there. I'd guess there are probably a few more.

And to mess with my head, I saw there was a full FBI office in London. But then I saw it was London, Kentucky.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

As if they’re not somehow sifting through foreign bank account payments, well the CIA at least.

[–] bdonvr 9 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago
👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️
    👄 
[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

This is almost as hilarious as Matt Gaetz marking Tuition or School on his Venmo payments to kids

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Except the investigation into him can get brushed aside...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

Such prudes.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

People hate fun.

load more comments
view more: next ›