this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2024
83 points (100.0% liked)

traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

980 readers
102 users here now

Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.

  1. Please follow the Hexbear Code of Conduct

  2. Selfies are not permitted for the personal safety of users.

  3. No personal identifying information may be posted or commented.

  4. Stay on topic (trans/gender stuff).

  5. Bring a trans friend!

  6. Any image post that gets 200 upvotes with "banner" or "rule 6" in the title becomes the new banner.

  7. Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.

  8. When made outside of NSFW tagged posts, comments about dysphoria/traumatic/transphobic material should be spoiler tagged.

  9. Arguing in favor of transmedicalism is unacceptable. This is an inclusive and intersectional community.

  10. While this is mostly a meme community, we allow most trans related posts as we grow the trans community on the fediverse.

If you need your neopronouns added to the list, please contact the site admins.

Remember to report rulebreaking posts, don't assume someone else has already done it!

Matrix Group Chat:

Suggested Matrix Client: Cinny

https://matrix.to/#/#tracha:chapo.chat

WEBRINGS:

🏳️‍⚧️ Transmasculine Pride Ring 🏳️‍⚧️

⬅️ Left 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 Be Crime Do Gay Webring 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 Right ➡️

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I am still very early in this whole process, and there is still a lot of self doubt, so I am reading a lot of literature on "Am I trans" and dysphoria.

One concept that people often like to propose in these ressources is the button that makes you the opposite gender, and, crucially, also makes everyone else believe that you have been that way forever.

I don't really like this, because my time as a boy/man is part of who I am. I would not be me without it, and despite all of the problems I had and have due to my gender, it is still part of who I am. I fought through all of this and worked to find out who I want to be by myself. I wouldn't wanna be cis, and I also don't want to cease being the me born out of this struggle.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Replying again because I remembered a thought-

A sort of version of this question I've seen, that for me was a loooottt more helpful, but is more kinda aimed at sussing out if you're nonbinary vs male/female, was:

If you had been born as the opposite sex, would you have felt the need to physically transition?

And like. No? If I'd been born with a penis I think my main body dysphoria would've been over the fact that (based on my family) I would've been circumcised. The only physical change I would've done would be foreskin restoration, lol (also I'd work way harder at taking care of my butthole and not having hemorrhoids, since I wouldn't have the easier bottoming option I have now). Other than that I believe I'd just be a queer sometimes femme sometimes masc guy, I doubt I'd identify as any kind of trans.

But as is I was born into my body and have experienced decades of dysphoria and have been various states of egg for most of that time. I'm not a woman but living as a girl and then a woman has shaped so much of who I am, that to remove that, would fundamentally change me.

If there was a magical get a full sized uncut penis button I think I would probably (but like, I'm not even certain of that) press it?

But I'm not interested in any button that undoes my life. Because then I'm not me. And that line of thinking is confusing and gives me existential dread. No thanks.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I kind of relate to that. I also feel bad about myself whenever I think that I’m trans because it feels like I’m betraying my gender at birth. I’m in a male dominated field and part of my motivation to do well is because it feels like a ‘fuck you’ to the men that tried to undermine me. If I were to transition I would lose that motivation and part of my self worth in some way. So I feel like I need to choose between experiencing gender dysphoria and losing my self worth. Hard choice. I’m trying to change that situation slowly though.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

This reminds me of a program I heard on Radiolab about the first "female" gondolier in Venice (a 900 year old tradition of men only) whose egg cracked after shattering the glass ceiling. He discusses the conflict between his pride and defiance to even attempt this and his newly recognized identity as another man.

It's a good listen (or read, if you prefer to read the transcript)

https://radiolab.org/podcast/gondo