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I love sleeping, honk-shoo is so goated.
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I'm also really really happy in a way I've never felt before. And crying again. ππ
<3 im so glad youre feeling joy like that! It is so important to hold on to queer and trans joy, the joy of existing. Im happy youre here
I just didn't know for so long. I feel so blind. I don't know. How couldn't I have known sooner? I've never felt like a man but I didn't know I had options. I've been so disgusted and hated my masculinity for so long but I thought there was something wrong with me specifically. I thought I was a failure as a human.
That's how I felt too. Part of it, I think for me, was how "normal" it was. Like yea, I'm a man, because that's how I was born. I didn't consider options. Society does not give us options, tell us the options are there. Tell us trans people are a thing or what that might feel like. Tips for identifying it in yourself. Nothing.
ππππ I feel like I'm losing my mind. Like the world is crumbling and nothing makes sense.
I wish I was a girl so bad but I didn't know I could be. ππππππππ
Iβve got good news
I'm so afraid I won't have support IRL. I don't want my life as it exists to end completely. I don't know how to make it work. I've devoted so much time and energy to neurotically being a man. Gamblers fallacy, you know?
Itβs scary but you can do it if you want to :)
Its ok, a lot of people didnt know. The world kept us from ourselves. I have felt like a failure of a human for a very long time, and still do in many ways (ive been lowkey crashing out in like half the trans megas since i joined bearsite lol). But life gets better, the pain doesnt go away but it becomes more understandable (at least, thats my experience. Theres so many trans experiences, mine is but one). And the joy, the JOY! It feels so good, and i want more trans joy in my life, we all deserve so much trans joy.
You're amazing. It's hard not to crash out, lol, I feel that. It's been a lot of emotions for me recently.
I dont crash out, i crash in lol (joking tone, but genuine, i dont let anyone see anything and then break down when no one is looking).
If they didn't want me to cry in the bathroom at work it wouldn't lock.
The nurse who delivered (the doctor wasn't available) said "its a girl!" when I was born and then they re-assigned me the dreaded M on the paperwork
I still didnt figure it out for like 27 years after that lol. Everyone takes their time.
Ok youβre here now though thatβs what really matters