this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2025
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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Hi everybody! My schedule has been really unforgiving, so I may or may not end up writing something and making changes to the post later in the week.
Regardless, I hope you all have a good week!
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trauma
Since going on hormones , I experience emotions more intensely. Did it make anyone else's repressed trauma come out? I feel like I can experience my past and current experiences with loneliness, dysphoria and bullying with more feelings now.___
trauma
Pretty much, yeah. Being able to feel more emotional helped me gradually start to recognise and unpack how parts of my life have negatively impacted me, and it makes the big emotional events feel stronger now. But I think it's more helpful than harmful to feel that way, and it also makes the nicer events feel much better too.spoiler
As an egg how I dealt with what I now understand to be dysphoria, with trauma from my family, with pretty much any emotion besides anger was to repress it.HRT made me feel my emotions way way more and with way more granularity. I've described it like my vision was before I had glasses and then after I put them on for the first time. It was hard to deal with because I couldn't really repress all those feelings anymore and I just had no tools to deal with feeling shitty emotions that you can't just lock away.
It sucked because I had to deal with a lot of repressed shit but it was nice to finally grab a hold of it, and it was very nice to have the words and ability to talk about what exactly I was feeling