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this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2024
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weird brain things and dysphoria
It seems that everytime I take a step forward, I end up having bouts of "am I really trans though" that last for days.For example, I came out to my mom this last weekend. It went great, I felt great Saturday night and most of Sunday morning. And then the thoughts start to migrate back in. "Am I really trans?" "I just look like a guy" "I think I'm being self indulgent and stupid" type shit. Plus all the hyper fixation on all the things that make me feel like a guy. It'd be nice if it would stop soon. I was enjoying vibing in skirts and being dorlypilled.
β οΈ Oh hey, it's another "did I write this?" post. Haven't seen one in a while.
Hope it dissolves soon, Wake!
It already has! We're back to our regularly scheduled girling around time. I might even go to the local monthly trans club meetup thingy tonight that I keep avoiding because I'm an anxious coward lol
Do you wanna be trans? If yes, you're trans enough.
I think what she feels is similar to how I feel a lot of the time. The days where I don't want to be a girl. During those days, I want to want to be a girl lol. It's confusing
Real π
Mood. But those days where I question are getting less and less frequent. 48 hours of feeling like crap as a result of coming out to my mom is a fair trade off I think. And it seems like the refractory period is getting shorter too. So that's a win.
Coming out to my mom was huge to me. We're very close and we have been my whole life. It was killing me that she didn't know and now I feel so relieved. I definitely made the right decision to do it. So two days of dysphoric questioning was a fair trade.
So I'm guessing she took it well?
Yeah she took the news great. I have my suspicions that she kinda already knew though.
spoiler
That's one thing I worry about more directly coming out to my parents is I expect the post-come out doubts.
That happened to me so bad that I've just stopped coming out to people
I think that the refractory people will get shorter the more you do it. Your milage may vary, but from my experience it absolutely does.
Yes! Congratulations!
Irrelevant, although you can always do something about it if you wish
If this qualifies as self indulgent and stupid, be self indulgent and stupid. I don't wanna be anything else
I've already decided I'm going to be so fucking cute. Even if my brain occasionally tries to convince me otherwise.
No one is CIS except for me. I am the one true CIS.
For real though, I know I'm trans. My brain is just an asshole sometimes. These feelings will pass, they always do. They just suck while I'm in the middle of them. I do feel much more transy today vs yesterday. So I think I'm already passed the worst of it.
Absolutely based as hell
I love to see it, also hedonism-mode gang.
Yeah I would say you're doin good, which slaps. Grats on getting past the worst of it
I do wonder what coping strategies & etc would be useful for dealing with those feelings in the moment since lots of people get em...
I don't know if my coping strategies will work for others. But for me the most important thing I do is simply remind myself how far I've come. Egg broke 6 months ago, started coming out to everyone pretty much immediately after, started therapy, started hrt. I wouldn't have done those things if I was The One True CISβ’. And every single one of those steps made my life exponentially better than the one before. Before my egg broke, I was on a dark path. Every step I take now brings me farther and farther into the light. Being seen can be scary sometimes if your not used to it, but it's so worth it.
This fucks, love it
I wonder if anywhere sells Dorley Hall mugs β a lot of those would legitimately be funny in-jokes outside of the hall too.
Your brain has been temporarily been banned from Hexbear for transphobia. If your brain has been infected with dysphoria, please take gender euphoria pills immediately to kill it.
I would absolutely buy a dorly mug. Some of those are hilarious. I don't think anyone would get it but I would and that'd be enough. I suppose I could just have one made.
This is SO common.
It really makes me wonder if human brains are hardwired for some level of reationary thought, even if it's just internal. Every time I do something big that recontextualises my world going forward, like for instance changing the lens that my mother views me through, I backslide into dysphoric questioning.
And that pattern seems to be a common one, not just for trans folks.
Experience big change -> question big change