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Braveheart for libs
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this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2024
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chapotraphouse
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Ok, new conspiracy, the motive was to spark a civil war knowing dems, despite being totally harmless, would be blamed anyways and the guy just wanted his party to just finally go about claiming their inevitable victory.
The leader says "So - we got 100 democrats hiding in the school gym. I know some you are shy to do what needs to be done. But we gotta do it to end this thing soon as possible. Other counties around have already finished and this is costing me. My car dealership has been closed ever since the fighting broke out. Not really fighting but you know what I mean. To stiffen your resolve remember the sacrifice of that guy who got shot by bullets meant for Our Lord and Savior Trump. The democrats made it so Trump got shot and that guy died. We'll do it in the name of that guy. We'll thank him for his service."
Somebody says "What was that guy's name anyways?" The response is mumbling and the shuffling of feet. Somebody coughs.
The leader says "Nobody knows?... We are about to do what is necessary in the name that guy who got shot by bullets meant for Our Lord and Savior Trump. That's good enough."
"OLST," they all say. And with that - they had towards the gym.