this post was submitted on 06 May 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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cat-trans

I hope everyone had a great week last week. Hopefully this one turns out even better for everyone.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (8 children)

WTF did y'all read to realise you were trans? I'm in a very foucault-madness screm-a mood.

[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

My egg fully cracked when I was at Anthrocon 2022. I had an artist named "Dark Natasha" commissioned to make a new badge for me. I had been questioning myself for some time prior to this, but I couldn't come to accept it for various reasons. I was originally just going to ask for a "more femme" badge of my fursona, but after fighting with myself, I changed it to straight female. Over the next 24 hours, I was agonizing over it and terrified as all hell. I knew deep down inside that it would change my life, but I didn't want to accept it. I ended up waiting until right before the Dealer's Den closed the day for pick-up before I picked it up. Once I did, I picked it up and took one look at it. I was entranced by it and just starting bawling in the middle of a rather decently sized crowd. In that moment, my life was changed forever. I finally came to accept that I was trans.

What finally made me fully accept that I was trans and put my worries to the sword was that I was about a year and a half into my transition. I had been fighting and fighting to change my life and change my appearance hard. I put a ton of effort into everything I had done up to that point. I had voice trained for a long time. I had changed my clothes. I had changed just about every aspect of my social self. I still had prying questions into myself and was wondering if I actually was truly trans (for various reasons that I shan't get into). Then I decided to think on it and came to a very simple conclusion. Who in their mind would willingly change their lives with such a great amount of effort? I mean, I even estranged family and was very shortly getting bottom surgery. I also oft proclaimed that I would absolutely refuse to ever go back to who I used to be. Who would do this if they were cis? Literally no one. And then finally the questions ceased. Now, I live my best life. I'm truly happy for the first time in my life. And you know what? I woudn't exchange it for anything.

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (2 children)

My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness. I mentioned to a friend about how I I jokingly told myself that if I was so touch starved I could hire a prostitute about it and how that joke suddenly became super painful when I realized that if I hired a prostitute the thing I'd want more than anything to do with her is to be the little spoon while she ran her fingers through my hair while we were clothed. My friend then mentioned how that basically happened in MLEWL too

i'm very emotionally well adjusted :3

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

yeah i got me a real copy. worth it

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Oh, it's an entire series. I should buy the rest of the books.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

edclueless she can't be me, I stopped starving myself ages ago keeps reading for a few pages aware

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

It never manifested as an eating disorder but I absolutely could never spend money on anything, regardless of how much I actually had. I just hoarded it and said that I didn't want anything. In reality, I just didn't buy anything because I never thought I "deserved" it, which, although more managable than an ED, was basically the same logic behind it. It's really exhausting to live like your great grandma who personally lived through the great depression, actually

[โ€“] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (2 children)

15th birthday, literally woke up that morning and my half awake brain produced the thought "yeah I'm trans, I'll figure that out later"

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

Oh god I love a girl with priorities

  1. breakfast
  2. gender
[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I had a female player model in Roblox

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Fair, I played a female character in terraria

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Alternative answer: when you're posting in the trans mega with a trans flag in your username cat-trans

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The trans flag is ah... eh.. :sweating-emoji: technical debt! yea that's right!

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

bridget-smug Of course, let's go with that!

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (2 children)

That's a open-ended question when you think about it. Do you mean what caused my egg to crack or what made me stop questioning myself?

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

I'd love to hear both answers.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Probably the latter.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

For me it was really when I asked my parents if I could shave my legs, and when they said no, I went up into my room an cried for like an hour, I knew then that I was trans because if I wasnt then why would I can so much about this.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

on my bullshitThis probably won't be helpful but I'll just go off. I read this fucking book called Annabelle by Kathleen Winters, and I was a pretty dense kid so this was literally the first time I had ever heard that it was possible to physically change your body to match your gender. So after that I started yelling at people that I was gonna get on hormones and everyone was gonna call me by some new name I'd not yet decided.

I honestly wish I could remember more of my thought process from back then, what drove me. I know my brain tends to work oppositionally, and I found the upcoming physical effects of testosterone to be really incredibly unpleasant, so I was like, yeah the other one. Estrogen. I also did realise that I looked at all the women in my life with as much envy as anything else. Is it really a crush if you just wanna be her, kid? Do you wanna be her or kiss her???? Answer: both.

So basically I guess, being a man was a gross and nasty prospect to me--I got bodyslammed really hard by that one "Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life as a man?" manga screencap--and I really wanted to be pretty like all the girls I saw, so I did lmao. I dunno if I really felt "gender" about it, because while I enjoy fem outfits and selfcare and stuff now and then, binary gender is actually so fake and I don't have one, maybe at all. I like being a drowned lesbian rodent now โœจ

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I was never especially gender conforming as a child, but I began to suspect something when a school forced me to have short hair, really hated that. It took a few more years and a lot of introspection and education to decide on what I wanted. One night, while I was once again laying awake agonycing over my gender, I decided enough was enough and that a decicion was to be made, and from there on the path was clearer-ish(I still don't really like labels, I just want to be feminine)