[-] [email protected] 37 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

perhaps unpopular opinion I'd like to discuss:

if frauddogg had been moderated like autismdragon instead of celebrated for null's behavior, void might not have felt the need to delete null's account when found out to be a former troop

this is not conspiracist, "mod-cabal" bullshit โ€“ it is undeniable that some people are moderated differently than the vast majority of users. I would prefer to not call out more examples โ€“ I'm not interested in a struggle session or interpersonal drama โ€“ but I have been poking around and saving them up since the TC69 incident, because "no investigation, no right to speak," and I've seen how @[email protected] et al have been treated for trying to discuss this difference without having a fucking catalog of evidence.

if frauddogg had been required to treat other hexbears with the good faith etc called for in the Code of Conduct, would void have felt compelled to delete null's account when the troop thing came up? would it have even come up at all in that conversation, if void hadn't been consistently behaving belligerently towards others, including other em_poc users?

๐Ÿคท

effects on me personally, cw: self-harmhonestly, seeing void's behavior get celebrated sent me on a mental health decline. I thought so highly of you all, and this is what counts as "most comradely" etc to you? I don't get it, which makes me feel like either there is something deeply wrong with me, or that you are not the kind of people you present yourself to be and it would be safer to distance myself from you.

I've been working on that for the last couple weeks. ๐Ÿคท it is very lonely, but at least I'm not contemplating self-harm because my not understanding something makes me a fragile cracker Becky worthy of the wall. I have tried my best to be a good comrade here; I have tried to treat you all with an open heart, and though I am white and Amerikkkan and housed, I have never in my life been above 200% of the FPL, and I have repeatedly paid my own bills late to help people on /c/mutual_aid eat.

this place is deeply baffling, and if I could figure out somewhere else full of trans leftists where I could get news that isn't entirely drenched in American propaganda, I would have already deleted my account.

edit1: removed an archive link per admin/mod request

edit2: changed another archive link to screenshots per admin/mod request

[-] [email protected] 35 points 7 months ago

Dad actually defended me, said I was smarter and more kind than anyone at the whole table.

don't need to meet your family to be utterly confident that your father is correct โค๏ธ I'm really glad to know your parents stick up for you, you deserve it.

[-] [email protected] 34 points 7 months ago

slowly starting to process everything that has been said across the threads about this and I have questions. I would prefer to wait to process things more before posting, but I'm worried the thread will get locked before I'm ready.

(if you have DM'd me, I will reply eventually โค๏ธ)

I have concerns and questions about the way mistakes are handled here that will echo things said during the Great -Tank Comms Struggle Session of two weeks ago. this is not an attempt to reignite it; the possibility of doing it is terrifying, but I feel compelled to try to get at the heart of the problem expressed by many neurodivergent comrades therein, and I have fresh personal experience with the importance of this problem.

we make social mistakes because social difficulties are part of our disability. punishing people for crossing hidden and ill-defined red lines is ableist, especially when there's been no other reason to doubt that person's good faith.


Questions & Concerns:

  • can someone help me read this quote

For active hexbear users, we do encourage a mod sending a warning message, however that is not required. We frequently give 1 day temp bans without such a warning and while we do wish we had more mod tools available, we work with what we've got.

from @CARCOSA's comment here in a way that isn't contradictory with @Lyudmila's statement that you would not be banning users for a single upvote anymore?

this indicates to me that the exact same thing could happen again if I'm not exceedingly careful with my upvotes, which absolutely I will try to be, but I just know myself well enough to know that I'm going to fuck up again eventually. ๐Ÿคท if perfection is the standard to not have my RSD triggered to that degree, this is not a safe place for me.

  • did none of the other upvotes I made in that thread matter or make anyone question whether I actually agreed with that comment?

I looked back at the thread this morning, and I see that I had also upvoted queermunist's reply to the objectionable comment (most of the other replies to it were made after leaving the thread to read other things and then go touch grass, sometime after which I was banned)

other comments in the thread that I upvoted:
https://hexbear.net/comment/5659695 (and several replies)
https://hexbear.net/comment/5659596
https://hexbear.net/comment/5659550

idk if there's a way to check the timestamp of when I voted on these things to prove that it was during that same initial viewing of the thread, but I hope so, especially when you're using a "pattern of activity" for bans.

afaik, I don't have a track record of consistently problematic upvotes, but I know my AuDHD self well enough to know that I've probably similarly marked a thing planning to come back to it and then totally forgotten, or just been autistic or uneducated enough to not understand the subtext that a better-informed mod is getting, or just not noticed that my thumb hit the button when I browse with my phone on night-mode, which is grayscale and makes it impossible to tell if I voted unless I see the little bear spin.

  • is it not policy to look at contravening comments in the thread and see how many of the problematic upvoters voted on them, too? would that not indicate something other than support for reactionary views and merit deeper consideration?

the description of the "vote audit" process makes it sound like a fair bit of work, only a single comment at a time that was specifically requested (a process which includes both mods and users??), and names that stick get punished, except sometimes it's a first offense and that's okay but also it's not.

getting context sounds onerous, but it seems unfair and misguided to ban people for poor upvotes without taking them into context with their other upvotes. how do you establish a "pattern of upvote activity" without context? being highly selective in your choice of data points does not demonstrate a pattern. and apparently you don't actually need a pattern of activity for a one-day ban anyway because those shouldn't matter that much to anyone.

kitty-cri

  • is there a threshold number of upvotes on a terrible comment that triggers a vote audit? it seems like lots of things get removed without triggering an audit and collective punishment. is it based more on the awfulness of the content? is it entirely up to the mod removing the comment or are there rules for when something must be audited? how do users request an audit and action against the upvoters?

  • it seems like even if a single upvote wouldn't merit a ban anymore (except it might!), going for a ban based on a "pattern of upvotes" when their upvote action is removed from the context of their other upvotes and actions and when someone has given you no other reason to think they're secretly a reactionary bigot is still misguided and cruel. especially when there were so many of your neurodivergent comrades telling you in the Great -Tank Comms Struggle Session of two weeks ago that we would welcome being called out on things so we can learn, because difficulties with social cues is an inherent part of our disabilities, and we want to both Be Better but also just not accidentally hurt anyone.

we're constantly getting accidentally hurt ourselves, we know what it's like when nobody gives a shit about your feelings, we are your allies or we wouldn't be here.

Hexbear: you want to be a safe and welcoming place for leftists, especially leftists from marginalized communities, but you are so quick to reject even the perception of bigotry that you are inherently unsafe to many comrades attracted by that expressed ethos.

I would like to believe that a single poor upvote will no longer be enough reason to ban someone, but that's super unclear, and also I guess I'm confused why it ever has been, or why there isn't further investigation of activity around questionable votes if mods are presuming intentions from them.

  • is the power to ban vested in each mod individually, or does it require consultation? I think I had assumed the latter but am coming to understand that it might be the former, which feels like a giant lightbulb moment for my understanding of site dynamics and interpersonal issues.

  • what is the policy on modlog deletions? how can your neurodivergent comrades hope to understand the rules when their application is often hidden and unequal?

and then my most important question:

  • what is the Code of Conduct for the mod team?

there are people on the mod team with usernames that often appear above "deleted by mod", often for "hostility" โ€“ could you please help me understand how upvote activity is more impactful for creating a hostile environment than open hostility from mods? (are the people who upvoted those comments punished?)

it doesn't seem unreasonable for there to be higher standards for mod behavior, but it seems like they're actually lower. I completely understand wanting to give your friends/coworkers extra grace, but also, certainly you must understand how this fosters an in-group/out-group dynamic that contributes to a hostile environment.

I hope we can discuss these questions with assumption of good intentions from the people we disagree with and that the thread will stay unlocked long enough to discuss them.

it takes autistic people longer to process things. I know that is not convenient. ๐Ÿคท

[-] [email protected] 36 points 8 months ago

legitimately. I checked yesterday morning and it seemed okay, then I went off and did other things and came back to see (+651) next to the comment count and ๐Ÿคฏ

appreciate all the energy you're putting into this, btw. โค๏ธ thank you for your time, labor, and care.

[-] [email protected] 40 points 8 months ago

getting stress hives from reading this thread lmao wtf

this is the first time online community stress has caused it, which I'm pretty sure means I care for you all very very much.

really glad I missed the frequent struggle session days, would have just been a walking rash irl ๐Ÿ˜‚

[-] [email protected] 34 points 8 months ago

assuming it's even sincere to begin with.

this makes me feel like I'm missing something

blob-no-thoughts

why wouldn't it be sincere?

[-] [email protected] 38 points 8 months ago

seems like a good time to tell you that you're one of my favorite posters, and this is a perfectly exemplary post ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰

hilarious and perfect, which is exactly what I've come to expect from you โค๏ธ

[-] [email protected] 38 points 8 months ago

when I realized I couldn't instantly tell if there were new posts, I just opened a new tab for each mega to keep up on them that way, but then they promptly got lost in the shuffle of my million open tabs ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคท and then I forgot entirely that I had done it until I started closing tabs this morning and found them again ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿ˜‚

43
submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

you don't have to describe them in detail with dates, not trying to get you to doxx yourself

but it's kind of A Thing with neurodivergent folks to have tried a lot of different jobs, and I'm curious about everybody's count

I think I'm up to 21 that I've filed taxes for, which doesn't seem that extreme for 42, except when you consider that I've been unemployed most of my son's 17 years of life because I couldn't handle parenting and that level of outside obligations, so most of those happened before I was 25 โ€“ so 20ish jobs between 15-25

how bout you, how many things have you tried?

[-] [email protected] 41 points 8 months ago

I know the horror and anguish I feel reading this and seeing his beautiful face forever stilled is only a tiny fragment of what you feel every day, and it is overwhelming and awful.

I am so sorry for your loss. He had a gorgeous smile, and I'm heartbroken you will never see it again. ๐Ÿ˜ญ

May Every Zionist Burn.

[-] [email protected] 38 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

hilarious bit, we should all do this

62
submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

the parantheticals are referencing teacher names to tell which room to go to for that presentation โ€“ left in a couple so you could appreciate the very appropriate location for the Law Enforcement presentation

these options leave a lot to be desired and make me wonder how the fuck they recruit for them, because it doesn't seem like there's much effort to get a wide breadth of interests and options.

41
submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

so horrifically in touch with everything I'm bad at, every way I just do not fit what other people expect

omori-miserable

tell me you know that feel, please

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