TheChemist

As an Autistic Man, it is really irritating that, people, as though they are a Neurotypical person that expects me to easily "get" unspoken social rules, and easily understand things without needing background information, it seems as though I am for some reason expected to not only automatically understand what people talk about when they say those phrases, but also even if I do want to look them up, I am scared of doing it wrong, because growing up, my mom forbade me from socially interacting with people, which caused me to become socially awkward.... which made her not want me to talk to people for "Fear of embarrassing her", leading to a vicious cycle that caused me to never have any friends until last year.

So thus, even to this day, I am completely unfamiliar with what it means to Support a Local Community, to Go and Organize, to Read Theory.... unless those are all phrases that were made so memetically popular, that people forgot about their original meaning, and people repeat them in order to make themselves LOOK intelligent rather than actually say anything intelligent.

The end result? I have no clue whatsoever how to socialize with people, or to attend public events, how to know when they are happening, how to find them, I don't know what the first steps are with socializing.... all thanks to my mother, who failed to teach me social skills, and failed to teach me the confidence in helping myself.

So how do I accomplish the commonly thrown around phrases I just mentioned?

I have almost 3,400 hours on the game, and I have heavily modded it, and yet I have only completed the game once. Never once, have I thought of supporting The Legion at all, and it was the game that helped me realize I am Asexual, since I never felt the need to pick any of the perks that add attraction to the opposite or same sex (I wish there was an Asexual equivalent where instead of 10% Damage against all humans, you take 10% less damage from those same people).

My most recent memory is one time, I was fighting a Radscorpion, when a Mole Rat appeared and helped me against it, due to me having the Animal Friend perk. The Mole Rat thankfully lived, and I wish the Animal Friend Perk gave me dialogue options to pet animals.

Overall, given the game has themes of Anti Capitalism, the benefits of Mutual Aid and Positives of Anarchism, as well as being anti Slavery and the game encouraging you to dislike The Legion, as well as having well written LGBTQIA+ Characters, I would highly recommend the game.

So, I have friends that, in this capitalist world, they are forced to often be very busy and have little time to socialize with me. Although sometimes, I wonder if it's because they secretly hate me. But yet, at the same time, when they do message back, they always apologize to me for not messaging back, and they never have anything bad to say about me.

Often, I fear that, every time someone says they don't hate me, they are actually lying. I for one, can't see why they are so fond of me, and I can't think of any positive things to say about myself. I am boring. I am going into accounting, and I have Autism. My special interest is in Fairy Tale Retellings and making them better than that of Disney.

My friends never seem to have a bad thing to say about me, and yet, they are so busy that, if they do have a lover, or other friends, I am often seeming to be on the backburner, or at least that's what it feels like.

So thus, I am forced to go often weeks without talking to another human being, where I am too shy to make any kind of conversation with anyone. I often spend my days talking to myself, having theoretical conversations with myself and my several imaginary friends. To pretend that someone would be fond of me, unless my online friends actually are fond of myself.

Either way, the gist of is... is that I seem to be suffering from the void of capitalism, it's uncaring, heartless nature, and that it seems to be consuming the free time of my online friends.

So what do you think? Could they secretly hate me, or is my mind starting to finally crack from being lonely, friendless and loveless my entire life (I am 24 and had no friends until last year)?

For most communities, especially some of the smaller ones, have posts that are only as recent as 2 months ago at best. I noticed that there is frequent activity on The big communities such as "chapotraphouse", "chat" and "news"... but that same frequency of activity isn't replicated on most of the other communities.

For communities like "movies and tv shows", it feels like visiting a ghost town.

Is activity for people here mostly off this site and elsewhere? Did I not get an invitation or something? It feels like, with regards to activities such as playing games or watching a movie, I see no signs of people on this site doing anything.

So why are most communities lacking in activity?

I am an Asexual, Heteroromantic Cisgender Man, I am 24, and I am studying to be an accountant.

My interests consist of Fairytale retellings, talking about the negative effects of Toxic Positivity, having imaginary conversations with myself and talking to imaginary people that care about me, playing Fallout and Minecraft and 7 Days To Die. I am also a fan of Star Wars. And Tomboys.

Today, I got a 3 day temporary ban on Reddit, on a bullcrap "Glorifying Violence" Charge, when all I did was point out how beneficial it was for the people of The Soviet Union when the Capitalists were killed off in Russia. (There goes my 153 day streak for Reddit)

Now, I realize, without my Reddit account, I have nothing to myself. No friends, at least none that I am able to regularly talk to due to them being busy, but does that count as friends? And yeah, I just realized just how lonely and miserable I truly am. I have been at university for about 3 years now, and I have not made a single friend, because all the people there are too-optimistic-for-their-own-good capitalists, who think that they can make their own small business within 2 years of graduation. And they are Liberals or Republicans.

So, given my narrow set of interests, partially due to having Aspergers, where would be a good place for me. Again, I am not a fan of doing anything unplanned, or something without even a second of thought before acting.

I am a pretty boring person otherwise.

Because I subscribed to the Asexual Community on this site, and it said "Subscribe Pending" after I clicked the subscribe button.

Because well, I am Asexual, and well.... it is incredibly rare to find another Asexual person anywhere. Not to shame people for their interests, but I am not comfortable with a lot of posts, even if they are meant to be for a joke, implying that everyone gets horny, and/or that apparent "Peak Hedonism" or whatever it's called, is about having lots of sex. Again, something I am not interested in.

I have seen no signs of any Asexual friendly spaces on this site, not even in the LGBTQIA+ Subcommunity for this site. Although I have been socially isolated by otherwise queer friendly spaces before, for "only" being Asexual.

Because currently, I am forced to learn the subject Business Finance 381... from a Professor that seems to be an absolute idiot. For one thing, he demonstrated the flaws of democracy... by listening to the majority of his students, who said they aren't helped by a textbook, and not having a textbook assigned to his class, nor even having a designated textbook for his class, or having such a textbook available for helping to help people learn. So thus, as you can imagine, I am in the minority of students that is hurt by him listening to the majority, and I am without a viable textbook to find even at the college bookstore.

Are there communities on this site for finding appropriate books/textbooks to use?

I am in a situation where, all my friends are often too busy, so I often spend weeks, here in college, without talking to another soul. To make things worse, I am very shy, and I can stutter a lot in voice calls. And thus, I am often too scared to try and message my online friends (I have only about 5, and they are the first friends I ever made in life, and I only befriended them last year), to ask them if they can hang out. I did once, but I need time to work up the courage again to ask for a hang out.

So anyways, what is it that you do, to occupy your time, when you spend most of your days with nobody to talk to? And you yourself are often busy with things in life?

As some of you might know, I had asked about this anime previously. However, the place where I had been able to watch it, Aniwave, was recently shut down, so thus I was left without a place to find this cult classic of an anime. This one is very obscure, and was released in 2005, without ever being officially released outside of Japan.

The site is ww4. 9animes.org. (No space in between) I have had no problem watching Animes for free on Firefox and having UBlock Origin (Which Google recently discontinued for Chrome) prevents any ads.

That being said, that was when I was using my home internet. I had no notifications of accessing copyrighted material or the like. I had no problems. What is the likelihood that say, the school would get red flags from me using that site? Could it still work while I am here living on Campus? Should I try to find a VPN? (I am a bit of a rookie with this kind of thing).

Performed by Oregon's Orchestra Next, this musical movement was made to accompany and complement the show by Eugene Ballet Company. Kenji Bunch himself wrote; "Helping to tell this hauntingly beautiful but entirely wordless story for close to two hours was, simply put, the largest undertaking of my career to date, by a longshot."

Unlike Disney's Frozen, this Ballet Performance and Orchestral accompanying piece follows closely the original fairy tale.

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