this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2024
369 points (96.2% liked)

Not The Onion

12211 readers
452 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 171 points 8 months ago (8 children)

"I'm like real religious..." Why does religion always end up being a synonym for ignorance and stupidity.

[–] [email protected] 82 points 8 months ago (8 children)

Everyone always calls me edgy when I bring this up but it's because believing in an obvious fairy tale shows a massive issue with critical thinking and cognitive capability.

These people essentially still believe in Santa Claus and will die for that belief.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 8 months ago

More commonly, will murder for that belief. Which is why this isn’t some edgelord topic, it’s something we need to deal with seriously as a society.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 8 months ago (5 children)

Because of absolutely moronic literal scripture interpretations. These imbeciles take the Bible as some kind of all-purpose knowledge encyclopedia, instead of a moral guide.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago

Just the way religion wants them. How else will they get money from them?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago

Because religion is used to control and keep people stupid.

“I don’t have to think since god is taking care of things. Just make sure to donate more than I can afford to church so that god knows I’m an extra special little worshipper.”

God is everywhere and he needs your money!

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 115 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Concussion and head injury are a serious problem in Football today, so this tracks.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I'm pretty sure he was stupid and ignorant well before he ever suited up.

[–] [email protected] 92 points 8 months ago

It's almost like "college football" doesn't involve any education

[–] [email protected] 68 points 8 months ago (3 children)

This is what happens when you push someone through the higher education complex on a sports scholarship...

[–] [email protected] 22 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Nah, he might just be dumb. Pretty sure I knew space was real before I was 10 lol

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Exactly. An idiot like this should never be enrolled in a technical university.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 64 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

What an idiot, especially when he blames his ignorance on his religious and political stances.

Also dumb, saying this to a newspaper formerly conceived of, headquartered, and printed in the same county that launches the most stuff to space, Brevard county Florida, aka the Space Coast, where you can see stuff being launched to space almost daily, ans almost from any part of the county, including from my backyard pool.

We need way more pushback against people spouting this level of ignorance.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

We need to just not give them a platform to spout it on.

Why the fuck is a college football player's beliefs about space newsworthy?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 57 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Why are we considering the view points of 19-20 year olds who happen to play a sport?

When I was 19-20 and smart enough not to play a sport that scrambles your brain, I did not get a news article in the national press reporting that I did believe in space.

America worships the wrong people.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 8 months ago (6 children)

Worships? Dude... This article is basically making fun of him for being a dumbass. That's the entire story. Dumb fuck said dumb thing.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

The mere fact that he is being talked about in this regard is annoying. Who the fuck cares about this person. What he believes is not a matter of national interest.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Not really the point of a news outlet is it?

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 49 points 8 months ago (4 children)

“Im real religious” , is not an excuse to ignore scientific fact.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 47 points 8 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (2 children)

"No, but seriously, you literally can't go past the sky."

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 43 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Shows what a degree from Texas Tech is worth.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 39 points 8 months ago

Then how does Tyler explain Space Jam? Check mate atheists!

[–] [email protected] 35 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Can someone buy him a telescope or something? Damn, you can actually see space and planets with your own eyes if you don't believe it....

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Gotta love the marriage between tramatic brain injuries and an under funded education system.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago

Gotta love the demands of an athletic program overriding academic integrity.

It's almost like student athletes shouldn't be monetized or training camps for professional teams or something.

Like they should have their own secondary league players can participate in and be paid to do so without simultaneously being a financial burden on 95% of schools.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 8 months ago

the fact that this is a story is a better criticism of our media than anything anyone could make up

[–] [email protected] 30 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Just because you are highly skilled at something doesn’t make you intelligent or smart.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 8 months ago

This is what happens to people who get their brains bashed in for a living. 

[–] [email protected] 23 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Doesn't this just tell us something about his university? They are obviously not doing that much in the way of teaching their football players.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I wonder if it hurts to be that dumb.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago

Biggest arms I’ve ever seen on a database, that’s for sure.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago

That's OK Tyler, Space believes in you

[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Instead of making fun of him, NASA should fund a trip for him to go to the ISS and he should livestream the whole thing to instagram.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Oh hey NASA, I also don't believe in space!

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago (2 children)

This will reflect poorly on his application to NASA.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Does anyone else find it weird that he knows the word heliocentric?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 8 months ago

Not at all. He learned all that, including terminology, from loony conspiracy theories. They like to use sciency words because it makes them sound more legitimate.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago

I don't believe there is anything in the space between his ears.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Does he believe all matter exists at a single point?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago

So did he buy a house that was like, 20 square feet?

“Yeah… I don’t believe in space. This is good.”

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago

Just don't ask him who he thinks is behind the conspiracy😬

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (3 children)

How did he pass any of his science courses?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

"This is some big shot of the football team. He's not a C student. Grade again."

Source: TA'd at a prestigious west coast Uni with a good football team.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

I guess it’s a good thing his chosen profession doesn’t require intelligence.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

Texas Tech? Checks out.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

Man got pokemon and concussions mixed up and tried to catch them all

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Me thinks this is the effect of too much head trauma.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›