this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2024

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Are a lot of cis women grossed out by vaginas? (hexbear.net)

submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I’ve run across cis women making comments like this way too many times for it to not be A Thing. Usually it’s a reason given for them not being a lesbian. Something like, “I love boobs but vaginas are gross”. I’ve also seen it as a reason to not date trans men, but I feel like there’s something going on beyond standard genital preference discourse and the transphobia attached to that. Can someone explain this or am I just being weird?

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[–] [email protected] 65 points 8 months ago (2 children)

In the US, there's a lot of cultural messaging about vaginas being gross. Feminine deodorizing sprays, scented pads and tampons, douches, etc - all that stuff is marketed like it's just an obvious fact that my pussy is naturally gross and I need to Do Something. If that attitude is reinforced by the people around you, it can be really hard to feel good about that whole area

I have known women who didn't masturbate (and didn't want anyone to perform cunnilingus on them!) because they didn't want to touch (and were afraid to let anyone stick their face near!) what they thought of as a gross area. It is really, really, incredibly fucking sad.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 8 months ago (1 children)

"Even Cowgirls Get the Blues" covers this extensively, especially in regard to deodorant sprays

[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Had never heard of this book, but it sounds fascinating from it's Wikipedia plot summary.

Sissy Hankshaw, the novel's protagonist, is a woman born with enormously large thumbs who considers her mutation a gift.The novel covers various topics, including free love, feminism, drug use, birds, political rebellion, animal rights, body odor, religion, and yams.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago

It's a very 1970s book, I liked it when I first read it ~15 years ago, I started a reread a few months ago but it didn't click with me this time

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

I think I have seen a movie based off of this... scared

[–] [email protected] 24 points 8 months ago (3 children)

This. It’s ruining my relationship.

IMO, saliva is the best possible lubricant.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I am so sorry this is happening to you, comrade. sadness

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Wait, what? I thought it was pretty bad

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Yeah it doesn't have much staying power but is solid to get things rolling, which is all some people need

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago

Coconut oil is pretty solid.

Though I start to have "feelings" when I smell macaroons now...

[–] [email protected] 40 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I mean yeah. There's a lot of bullshit attached to vaginas. Like, women masturbating was so taboo twenty years ago if youc an believe that. Women in teh US are/were conditioned to hate sexuality, hate their bodies, judge their bodies against absurd media standards. All sorts of wild shit.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I suppose that's why this is more prevalent in women who are over 30. The lion's share cis women I know who are under 30 are some variety of LBQ, but they grew up with media that was more sex positive, and in a handful of cases, clearly aware of the queer gaze (if only for the awooga factor.)

[–] [email protected] 38 points 8 months ago

Unexamined internalized misogyny most likely. It's just repeating the hegemonic idea without awareness that they are just repeating what men say

[–] [email protected] 27 points 8 months ago

Genitals look weird. Sometimes when I'm very unhorny penises look like fully soft thumbs to me and it's unsettling. It makes sense to me why'd someone find genitals they're not sexually attracted to even more weird. Weird stuff easily grosses people out, especially when put into sexual scenarios.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Not really in my country. We’re weird in that we’re socially repressed on paper due to the high level of Evangelicalism, but also very sexually liberated compared to the US.

From what I hear it’s not something they’re grossed out by but it’s like asking a straight guy why he doesn’t like dick. They just don’t find them sexually a rousing. I’m sure it differs from culture to culture.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (2 children)

It is interesting that the US is so repressed while also having "hookup cum brained culture". Then again, I've seen an article about how fascism is also very sexually restrictive yet horny all the time

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago

The enemy is at the same time too uptight and too slutty.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Hookup cum-brain culture is a result of that repression, which is part of why it's so toxic. Addressing the repression is part of the work necessary to turn hookup cum-brain culture into ethical non-monogamy culture.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago

Yes, lots

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Hm I've never met a woman that was afaik, is this common?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago (1 children)

"Are you uncomfortable with vaginas?" doesn't seem like something that would come up in conversation that often, IMO. Maybe you have.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

It keeps coming up in conversations I’m in and I don’t know why. Someone send help.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

I'm so clued out of this, the only cis women I talk to regularly munch carpets, so obviously not

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

So, I, a cis, mostly het dude, have mostly dated women who were, at the very least a tad bi-curious, most were straight up bisexual. This wasn't intentional on my part it just a weird coincidence.

I did date one woman who was pretty adamant she was 100% straight, not out of homophobia or anything she just said she has never been attracted to other women before. At least according to her she found the concept of Cunnilingus really off putting, she didn't even really like receiving it much and said she didn't get how I liked doing it. Mind you this woman sucked dick like mother fucker.

Idk man some people are weird.