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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

The Ukraine war was just a distraction all along. Russia has developed FTL travel and now has nukes stationed in Andromeda, waiting to strike the US.

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[-] [email protected] 84 points 1 year ago

Intergalactic?

Planetary?

Planetary?

Intergalactic?

[-] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago

Another dimension! Another dimension! Another dimension! Another dimension!

[-] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Ну, а теперь не говори мне улыбнуться

Ты остаешься рядом, я сделаю это стоящим твоего времени

Мой номер за пределами того, что ты можешь набрать

Может быть, это потому, что мы такие разносторонние

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago

:

TranslationWell, now don't tell me to smile

You stick around, I'll make it worth your while

♪ My number is beyond what you can dial ♪

Maybe it's because we're so versatile.

This text was translated using DeepL.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmmqSN6vpGM any excuse to shill my fav remix of this, its like the original but just that much better

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[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

At the risk of exposing my age, the only thing that I can think of when I read this was the scene from Diary of a Wimpy Kid where Rowley dances with his mom at homecoming

[-] [email protected] 59 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago

"You see, in 1068 Yaroslav the Wise declared..."

[-] [email protected] 51 points 1 year ago

If the US seriously wants to battle it's in denial,

Comin' from Uranus to check his style.

Go ahead, Putin's rhymes on trial

Cast the west into exile

Intergalactic planetary, planetary intergalactic

[-] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago

I looked it up and it’s legit. They actually put this on their YouTube channel.

I watched a few minutes of the story and it really that they want to put a nuke into orbit.

So, intergalactic is the wrong word but likely used because it sounds better than alternative descriptions.

[-] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago

Restarted, the Star Wars have

freedom-and-democracy

[-] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

Orbital? Sounds good and is also true?

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Intergalactic might not be true at all but it sounds scarier

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Turns out they don't want to put a nuke in orbit and that's also just made up. They just want to use a nuclear powered satellite, which is pretty bog-standard.

I guess "Very normal satellites are normal" isn't such an exciting title. Or.. really news at all.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

So definitely not 'intergalactic', not 'nuclear weapons', almost definitely not 'a huge threat to the US'

When do you think we find out it's not Russian either?

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

A nuclear explosion in space would be devastating to the entire globe. Every sattelite that isn't blocked by the Earth would be fried.

[-] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago

You guys laugh but the jewish space laser turned out to be real

[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Jewish space laser + Russian hackers = Judeo-Bolshevik Low Orbit Ion Cannon

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

It has six settings:

  1. Turn people into Jews
  2. Turn people into communists (label is often changed with 1 as a prank but nobody notices the difference)
  3. Turn people transgender
  4. Make people stop saying slurs
  5. Havana syndrome
  6. ALL OF THE ABOVE MUAHAHAHAHAHA
[-] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

1000 years into the future, a ragtag band of rogue believers in Marxism-Leninism from the space colony LX052, 2.2 light years away from Earth, decided they wanted to save Earth from destruction and reset history.

They commandeered a spacecraft with time traveling capability and set its course to 20th century Earth. They had learned about an ancient socialist civilization known as the Soviet Union, and their mission: to provide the ancient civilization with intergalactic weapons capable of defeating its imperialist rivals, to save Earth from total destruction.

However, minute error in calculations caused them to miss the intended time jump by 50 Earth years. Not knowing that the Soviet Union had already dissolved and it is modern day capitalist Russia in its stead, they attempted to contact its leader Vladimir Putin to facilitate a technology transfer on a scale never seen before in history, believing that Putin would use it for good.

Meanwhile, increasing amount of unidentified anomalous phenomenon (UAPs) are being reported and tracked by US military. Years of intelligence gathering by the US intelligence agencies finally uncovered the plan behind these space activities. Can they stop Putin from obtaining from future space socialists intergalactic arsenals capable of ending the world as we know it?

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I would read or watch this

[-] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

I have documented evidence that Russia's mecha program goes back to the Cold War. shinji-screm

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

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[-] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago

You don't understand, the Russians have a stargate that's how they send missles over such vast distances pepe-silvia

[-] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

Gotta justify that new curry-space branch of the MIC somehow. How about a few DEATH STAR BATTLE MOONS? Ought to excuse another at least $400 billion a year for the next forever.

[-] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

Don't worry guys, Russia constructed the satellite out of washing machine chips, so it's low quality and will break apart before it fires.

Don't worry guys, Russia's nukes don't work, so the satellite is only armed with a giant shovel.

Don't worry guys, Russia ran out of rockets (and missiles) so Putin had to personally carry the satellite up into space using a comically long ladder, and that took him approximately 2 years, so they aren't gonna put up a second one there anytime soon.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Yes, yes, the enemy is weak. But are they strong as well? I suspect they might be.

[-] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

We’re at the stage of the Cold War where the US military is either falling for Russian propaganda or just making up stuff and directing funds to wunderwaffe like mind control drugs, ESP, telekinesis, witchcraft, and demon possessions

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

CIA's gonna have to interrupt Yuri Geller bothering Theresa May over spoons to bring him back to the psychic goat murder lab.

[-] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

Ukrainian troop concentrations being decimated by Kinzhals launched from the Andromeda Galaxy.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Does Putin play Stellaris?

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Yes, but in real life.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

Ai generated title

[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

was this written by chatgpt

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I wouldn't be too surprised if journalists are simply that dumb.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Also uncritical support to Russia for aiding the EFF in their glorious jihad to liberate both Magellanic Clouds and Triangulum Galaxy from the genocidal kkkracker empire

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

fed "guys, you fucked up again. I already told you like ten times that tinfoil hat conspiracy theory level propaganda were to be used only against the DPRK!"

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

The Soviet Re-Union (of 2024)

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Hey, with just a couple of G's of acceleration, from the reference frame of the missiles they'll get here in only a few centuries!

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

That's right, Andromeda, in 150 billion years you're all screwed!

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

They’ve developed seven ring world installations (plus a foundry) capable of eliminating all life

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

You fools! Don't you understand? Ukraine is expecting an offensive from the land, Russia is gonna station their mothership directly above Kyiv and they won't even see it coming!

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this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2024
173 points (100.0% liked)

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