The suitors are all Hollywood sex symbols. Miss Piggy believes Kermit is dead, but delays choosing a new husband so she can continue basking in their aattention. When she hears he's coming home, she slaughters them so she doesn't have to explain.
You are cooking, don't stop.

Fozzie Bear narrates as Homer, he has a black cloth tied around his eyes and keeps comically bumping into stuff.
edit: Also you're kinda stealing a role for Sweetums with the Cyclops thing.
edit edit: Also Statler and Waldorf have to be two of the suitors.
Statler and Waldorf are Agamemnon and Menelaus
Generally Gonzo handles the narrator angle.
Sweetums with an eye patch
Statler and Waldorf
Chorus of the elderly is already a classic in Greek theatre.
Okay you're right, they'd be the guys listening to Fozzie Homer.
Okay, that makes Fozzie as a narrator click. That's usually Gonzo's job but if he's getting heckled by Statler and Waldorf that works.
Gotta have the penguins as miscellaneous soldiers doing slapstick in the background
I'd watch it.
Pretty sure my first experience of the Odyssey was a Wishbone episode
The B-plot of the Wishbone Odysseus episode is the local arbor society keeping a developer from bulldozing a local park
What was their historical conservationist lady neighbor's name? We had a neighbor growing up JUST like her, we used to call her the same name as the lady from the show.
OH GOD YES! Lol she even wore the same hat!
She was a pretty nice lady though, her husband was a SciFi nerd who lent me books sometimes. He dressed up as Spock one year for Halloween.
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
mine may have been the Simpsons episode
Damn I would watch this. His crew would all be muppets like Fozzy and Gonzo, except one of them would be a random b-list star. Robin the Frog would play Telemachus.
Swetums would make a solid cyclops as well. The Electric Mayhem as sirens would be a fun bit. I think most of the crew should be non specific Muppets so they can get comically killed off left and right. Scooter will be the only one who sticks around and gradually climbs through the ranks throughout.
Gonzo should be Menelaus so we can have Camilla be Helen.
The Muppets needs more women to make this all work, Miss Piggy's hostility towards female co stars has its detrimental.
FUCKING ROLF AS ARGOS BUT HE'S HAS FULL CONVERSATIONS WITH KERMIT TO UPDATE HIM ON THE SUITOR THING
Merge Argos and the blind herdsman
Perfect and economical for runtime. Also let me play Rolf and take like 5 or 6 years so I can get good at puppeteering.
angela collier is that you?
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Here's a list of tons of leftist movies.