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The Muppet Odyssey (hexbear.net)
submitted 3 weeks ago by Florn@hexbear.net to c/movies@hexbear.net

Kermit plays Odysseus. He never kills anybody himself, and when people die because of his actions it's not because he intended it. He fucks, but only consensually.

Miss Piggy plays Penelope. At the end of the movie, she kills the suitors herself.

The cyclops is is a human actor with a Muppet head.

Human Circe transforms Odysseus's human men into Muppet pigs. They continue speaking and spend the rest of the film in this form.

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[-] Florn@hexbear.net 21 points 3 weeks ago

The suitors are all Hollywood sex symbols. Miss Piggy believes Kermit is dead, but delays choosing a new husband so she can continue basking in their aattention. When she hears he's coming home, she slaughters them so she doesn't have to explain.

[-] Maturin@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago

You are cooking, don't stop. iz-shaka

[-] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 17 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Fozzie Bear narrates as Homer, he has a black cloth tied around his eyes and keeps comically bumping into stuff.

edit: Also you're kinda stealing a role for Sweetums with the Cyclops thing.

edit edit: Also Statler and Waldorf have to be two of the suitors.

[-] Florn@hexbear.net 7 points 3 weeks ago

Statler and Waldorf are Agamemnon and Menelaus

[-] Keld@hexbear.net 1 points 3 weeks ago

Statler and Waldorf are Scylla and Charybidis. Menalaus has to be either Kermit or Gonzo because Helen has to be either Miss Piggy (It can't be miss piggy though because you've correctly cast her as Penelope who kills the suitors herself) or Camilla.

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 6 points 3 weeks ago

Generally Gonzo handles the narrator angle.

[-] PaulSmackage@hexbear.net 6 points 3 weeks ago

Statler and Waldorf

Chorus of the elderly is already a classic in Greek theatre.

[-] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 6 points 3 weeks ago

Okay you're right, they'd be the guys listening to Fozzie Homer.

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 6 points 3 weeks ago

Okay, that makes Fozzie as a narrator click. That's usually Gonzo's job but if he's getting heckled by Statler and Waldorf that works.

[-] PaulSmackage@hexbear.net 5 points 3 weeks ago

Gotta have the penguins as miscellaneous soldiers doing slapstick in the background

[-] whotookkarl@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 weeks ago

Sweetums with an eye patch

[-] Keld@hexbear.net 2 points 3 weeks ago

Sweetums but they just make a joke about how you can't just expect every cyclops to have only one eye

[-] HarryLime@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Damn I would watch this. His crew would all be muppets like Fozzy and Gonzo, except one of them would be a random b-list star. Robin the Frog would play Telemachus.

[-] Keld@hexbear.net 2 points 3 weeks ago

His crew would be random whatnots and they would change every scene and he wouldn't notice, because Odysseus' crew dies like four times in the story.

[-] buckykat@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago

Pretty sure my first experience of the Odyssey was a Wishbone episode

[-] buckykat@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago

The B-plot of the Wishbone Odysseus episode is the local arbor society keeping a developer from bulldozing a local park

[-] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 5 points 3 weeks ago

What was their historical conservationist lady neighbor's name? We had a neighbor growing up JUST like her, we used to call her the same name as the lady from the show.

[-] buckykat@hexbear.net 5 points 3 weeks ago
[-] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 6 points 3 weeks ago

OH GOD YES! Lol she even wore the same hat!

She was a pretty nice lady though, her husband was a SciFi nerd who lent me books sometimes. He dressed up as Spock one year for Halloween.

[-] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 2 points 3 weeks ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[-] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 5 points 3 weeks ago

mine may have been the Simpsons episode

[-] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago

angela collier is that you?

[-] barrbaric@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago

I'd watch it.

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Swetums would make a solid cyclops as well. The Electric Mayhem as sirens would be a fun bit. I think most of the crew should be non specific Muppets so they can get comically killed off left and right. Scooter will be the only one who sticks around and gradually climbs through the ranks throughout.

Gonzo should be Menelaus so we can have Camilla be Helen.

The Muppets needs more women to make this all work, Miss Piggy's hostility towards female co stars has its detrimental.

FUCKING ROLF AS ARGOS BUT HE'S HAS FULL CONVERSATIONS WITH KERMIT TO UPDATE HIM ON THE SUITOR THING

[-] Florn@hexbear.net 5 points 3 weeks ago

Merge Argos and the blind herdsman

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Perfect and economical for runtime. Also let me play Rolf and take like 5 or 6 years so I can get good at puppeteering.

[-] Keld@hexbear.net 1 points 3 weeks ago

The Muppets needs more women to make this all work, Miss Piggy's hostility towards female co stars has its detrimental.

Use it. Circe or Calypso is played by that other girl pig they introduced for the short lived The Office like TV show they made a couple years back.

[-] Keld@hexbear.net 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

The Cyclops is so obviously Sweetums I don't know how you're even suggesting anyhing else.

The Sirens are Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem.

Menelaus and Helen are Gonzo and Camilla

[-] Crowtee_Robot@hexbear.net 2 points 3 weeks ago

Finally! Casting a Helen of Troy who actually hatched from an egg!

this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2026
55 points (100.0% liked)

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