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The Muppet Odyssey (hexbear.net)
submitted 1 day ago by Florn@hexbear.net to c/movies@hexbear.net

Kermit plays Odysseus. He never kills anybody himself, and when people die because of his actions it's not because he intended it. He fucks, but only consensually.

Miss Piggy plays Penelope. At the end of the movie, she kills the suitors herself.

The cyclops is is a human actor with a Muppet head.

Human Circe transforms Odysseus's human men into Muppet pigs. They continue speaking and spend the rest of the film in this form.

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[-] Florn@hexbear.net 21 points 1 day ago

The suitors are all Hollywood sex symbols. Miss Piggy believes Kermit is dead, but delays choosing a new husband so she can continue basking in their aattention. When she hears he's coming home, she slaughters them so she doesn't have to explain.

[-] Maturin@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago

You are cooking, don't stop. iz-shaka

[-] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 17 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Fozzie Bear narrates as Homer, he has a black cloth tied around his eyes and keeps comically bumping into stuff.

edit: Also you're kinda stealing a role for Sweetums with the Cyclops thing.

edit edit: Also Statler and Waldorf have to be two of the suitors.

[-] Florn@hexbear.net 7 points 1 day ago

Statler and Waldorf are Agamemnon and Menelaus

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago

Generally Gonzo handles the narrator angle.

[-] whotookkarl@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 day ago

Sweetums with an eye patch

[-] PaulSmackage@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago

Statler and Waldorf

Chorus of the elderly is already a classic in Greek theatre.

[-] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago

Okay you're right, they'd be the guys listening to Fozzie Homer.

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago

Okay, that makes Fozzie as a narrator click. That's usually Gonzo's job but if he's getting heckled by Statler and Waldorf that works.

[-] PaulSmackage@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago

Gotta have the penguins as miscellaneous soldiers doing slapstick in the background

[-] barrbaric@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago

I'd watch it.

[-] buckykat@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago

Pretty sure my first experience of the Odyssey was a Wishbone episode

[-] buckykat@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago

The B-plot of the Wishbone Odysseus episode is the local arbor society keeping a developer from bulldozing a local park

[-] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago

What was their historical conservationist lady neighbor's name? We had a neighbor growing up JUST like her, we used to call her the same name as the lady from the show.

[-] buckykat@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago
[-] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago

OH GOD YES! Lol she even wore the same hat!

She was a pretty nice lady though, her husband was a SciFi nerd who lent me books sometimes. He dressed up as Spock one year for Halloween.

[-] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 2 points 1 day ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[-] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago

mine may have been the Simpsons episode

[-] HarryLime@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Damn I would watch this. His crew would all be muppets like Fozzy and Gonzo, except one of them would be a random b-list star. Robin the Frog would play Telemachus.

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Swetums would make a solid cyclops as well. The Electric Mayhem as sirens would be a fun bit. I think most of the crew should be non specific Muppets so they can get comically killed off left and right. Scooter will be the only one who sticks around and gradually climbs through the ranks throughout.

Gonzo should be Menelaus so we can have Camilla be Helen.

The Muppets needs more women to make this all work, Miss Piggy's hostility towards female co stars has its detrimental.

FUCKING ROLF AS ARGOS BUT HE'S HAS FULL CONVERSATIONS WITH KERMIT TO UPDATE HIM ON THE SUITOR THING

[-] Florn@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago

Merge Argos and the blind herdsman

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Perfect and economical for runtime. Also let me play Rolf and take like 5 or 6 years so I can get good at puppeteering.

[-] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago

angela collier is that you?

this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2026
54 points (100.0% liked)

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