Invented entirely by deadbeat dads in writing rooms.

Yesn't? I think it is possible to love your kid while being a shit parent. In fact I know. If anything I'd like to see it revamped into a bad parent attoning for their failures, accepting that they have harmed their kid and adress it with the kid. "I see now how I was a bad parent to you. I see the hurt I caused and I am sorry. And while it doesn't erase what happened, I will do better." I'd love that as a signal to bad parents that they can do better. An an empathic wake up call

Neglect is absolutely a form of abuse. I feel the need to point out, though, that some dads are dealing with emotional scars of their own. In a few cases, neglect is actually an improvement from what the dads themselves went through.

What about the dad that abandoned their kids but then reappears to ask for help now that their kids have reached success as a physician or other professional peak?

It's always some bullshit excuse - "they're going to cut off my electricity" "I need help paying for food" "I got kicked off Medicaid buy haven't bothered to try to reapply" "I got heart surgery but still don't plan to stop smoking"

There's the human appeal of not wanting to see your father suffer. Knowing what it's like to be poor. Every ~2 months it's the same phonecall... Hey, can I get $3-500 just to get me through this month?

Where were you for 25+ years mother fucker.

I don't think everything is black and white like that. My dad has mental health issues but he does try when he manages to think about doing so.

GET IN THE FUCKING ROBOT SHINJI

Neglect is abuse. Loving parents don’t abuse their kids.

You run into the problem where generations of men were raised that showing love for your family meant providing for them; most men didn't work at home. So if you were physically at home with your children, that meant you weren't out trying to give them a better economic life.

It has only been recent that this paradigm has shifted.

I was positively surprised by Drops of God (Apple tv series) in this respect.

At the start you’re like “father can’t have been this bad, I’m sure people are overreacting”. At the end you’re like “omfg what a massive cunt”.

I am more pissed at how it takes like 5 minutes of apologizing to fix all awkwardness and resenment completely.

Maybe I'm digging too deep here but I kinda see it as a reflection of how capitalists want us to view them

You're ruining my plans to say "I'm going for a pack of smokes" was actually my sleeper agent activation code.

That's really why daddy has been gone for 20 years, I was undercover for the CIA and they required me to reassimilate a bachelor lifestyle. I'd like you to meet my partner Crystal Diamond, that's her codename. I know she's your age, but she's shown a lot of promise as a new agent.

We both have been staking out a strip club hideout. A front for a terrorist organization. I know this is hard to understand but that's why I use most of your child support money there, to defend our country.

I rewatched Inception recently, it's interesting because it has this trope centered in the plot. Cillian Murphy's character, Robert Fischer Jr., had a father like this, and while he never believed in his son (at least as far as we're revealed), the plot centers around having him believe that he did.

Lots of stuff can be explained by untreated mental health, and intent without action is a symptom of a lot of that stuff. It's worth being forgiving IF they're willing and trying, correctly, to improve.

Life is often too nuanced for memes

I get what you're saying, but the overriding thing here is that people write what they know.

All stories should only have elements that i like.

i made some shit (though not abusive!) decisions when raising my stepson after his mom died. kid’s a fucking genius though as an adult. we have a good relationship now and i am grateful for him. i was 25 when his mom got cancer. i was 31 when she died. he was 10. i’m in my late 40’s now and he’s in his 20’s and he’s got a good head on his shoulders, even if he’s still a 20’s age boy sometimes. (like when he bought a crotch rocket and fucked is back up within 3 months…)

Hey hey, ho ho, the father who neglected their kid but actually loved them all along trope has got to go!