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[Not the Onion] Tesla Recalls Cybertruck Because... [Full text inside] (thelemmy.club)

submitted 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) by InevitableSwing@hexbear.net to c/slop@hexbear.net

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The fucking site nagged me to turn off my adblocker and it turned out the fucking article is ~167 words.

Full text

Tesla has recalled a total of 173 Cybertruck models from the 2024-2026 model year equipped with 18-inch steel wheels due to a potential wheel-stud failure.

Cracks in the brake rotor stud holes could cause the wheel studs to separate from the hub, making it harder to control the vehicle and potentially causing the wheel to fall off, increasing the likelihood of a crash.

Affected vehicles may exhibit vibration or noise prior to wheel stud separation. Tesla says it will completely replace the affected wheel hubs and rotors. The repairs will be conducted at no cost to owners, as mandated by law.

Automakers recall many cars to fix safety defects, sometimes more than once. While automakers try to reach every owner to ask them to bring the vehicle in for repair, they rarely get them all. Millions of vehicles on American roads need free recall repairs. To find out if your car is one of them, check the easy VIN tool at our recall center.

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[-] nohaybanda@hexbear.net 30 points 6 days ago

say-the-line-bart-1

say-the-line-bart-2 I still love the truck

[-] Awoo@hexbear.net 22 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

potentially causing the wheel to fall off, increasing the likelihood of a crash.

I feel like if your wheel has fallen off you are in a crash already and we're just determining what severity of crash rather than the "likelihood".

[-] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 3 points 6 days ago

counterpoint but i would argue the least severe consequence (your wheel falls off at no/low speed and your car goes all nuts and you skid to a stop) can't really be called a crash like it's not like you hit anything

[-] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 3 points 6 days ago

i knew this guy who drove this total heap. it was an 80s VW Vanagon that had not been maintained for a decade. nobody ever wanted to ride in it because it had ants.

so here we are, year of our lord 200x, and the guy is coming home. coasting to a stop at a red light where 4 lanes cross 4 lanes (two big highways).

clunk, he slows rapidly from 25 mph to zero as his driver's side front wheel has popped off rolling forward.

he's just sitting there grimacing as this rogue wheel rolls casually through busy traffic--where thank god it doesn't hit anyone or cause an accident--before it hits the curb, pops up several feet in the air, and lands on the windshield of a new Corvette at a car dealership.

[-] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 1 points 6 days ago

It's like pilots joking that any landing you walk away from is a good landing.

I'm sure these things are too damn heavy, but part of me wonders if there's a niche scenario where you could stop it with next to no damage. Like, starting from a low speed, having a back wheel fall off, and you brake and steer to shift the balance to the opposite side of the missing wheel lol.

[-] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 26 points 6 days ago

hitler-detector i-spil-my-jice

[-] huf@hexbear.net 24 points 6 days ago

Interviewer: Senator Collins thanks for coming in.
Senator Collins: It’s a great pleasure, thank you.
Int: This truck that was involved in the incident off Buc-ees this week...
Sen: Yeah, the one the wheel fell off?
Int: Yeah
Sen: That’s not very typical, I’d like to make that point.
Int: Well, how is it untypical?
Sen: Well, there are a lot of these trucks going around the world all the time, and very seldom does anything like this happen ... I just don’t want people thinking that teslas aren’t safe.
Int: Was this tesla safe?
Sen: Well I was thinking more about the other ones...
Int: The ones that are safe...
Sen: Yeah... the ones the wheel doesn’t fall off.
Int: Well, if this wasn’t safe, why did it have 80,000 volts of electricity in it?
Sen: Well, I'm not saying it wasn't safe, it's just perhaps not quite as safe as some of the other ones.
Int: Why?
Sen: Well, some of them are built so the wheel doesn't fall off at all.
Int: Wasn't this built so the wheel wouldn't fall off?
Sen: Well, obviously not.
Int: "How do you know?"
Sen: Well, ‘cause the wheel fell off, and 20,000 volts of electricity discharged, the battery caught fire. It's a bit of a give-away." I would just like to make the point that that is not normal.
Int: Well, what sort of standards are these teslas built to?
Sen: Oh, very rigorous ... US engineering standards.
Int: What sort of things?
Sen: Well the wheel’s not supposed to fall off, for a start.
Int: And what other things?
Sen: Well, there are ... regulations governing the materials they can be made of
Int: What materials?
Sen: Well, Cardboard’s out
Int: And?
Sen: ...No cardboard derivatives...
Int: Like paper?
Sen:. ... No paper, no string, no cellotape. ...
Int: Rubber?
Sen: No, rubber’s out .. Um, They've got to have a steering wheel. There's a minimum crew requirement."
Int: What's the minimum crew?
Sen: Oh,… one, I suppose.
Int: So, the allegations that they are just designed to carry as much steak as possible and to hell with the consequences, I mean that’s ludicrous...
Sen: Ludicrous, absolutely ludicrous. These are very, very strong vehicles
Int: So what happened in this case?
Sen: Well, the wheel fell off in this case by all means, but that’s very unusual.
Int: But Senator Collins, why did the wheel bit fall off?
Sen: Well, a pebble hit it.
Int: A pebble hit it?
Sen: A pebble hit the truck.
Int: Is that unusual?
Sen: Oh, yeah... On the road? ...Chance in a million.
Int: So what do you do to protect the environment in cases like this?
Sen: Well, the truck was towed outside the environment.
Int: Into another environment....
Sen: No, no, no. it’s been towed beyond the environment, it’s not in the environment
Int: Yeah, but from one environment to another environment.
Sen: No, it’s beyond the environment, it’s not in an environment. It has been towed beyond the environment.
Int: Well, what’s out there?
Sen: Nothing’s out there...
Int: Well there must be something out there
Sen: There is nothing out there... all there is .... is sea ...and birds ....and fish
Int: And?
Sen: And 20,000 tons of toxic battery waste
Int: And what else?
Sen: And a fire
Int: And anything else?
Sen: And the part of the truck that the wheel fell off, but there’s nothing else out there.
Int: Senator Collins thanks for joining us.
Sen: It’s a complete void
Int: Yeah, We’re out of time
Sen: The environment’s perfectly safe. .... We’re out of time?.. Can you book me a cab?
Int: But didn’t you come in a tesla?
Sen: Yes, I did, but
Int: What happened?
Sen: The wheel fell off